poetry from 2005
All poems copyright Charleen Johnston
Broken Through
Becoming one with this itch, I scream
silently pointing fingers of blame
mirror mazes blazes back at me
with glaring intensity
I scratch; hide from the faces
that hatch within this mould,
folding in on me; becoming me
in some sick dream…wearing
my masks and laughing
till my words spill chaotically
trying hurriedly to heal
the split; duality disappearing
with Light embracing Dark,
a dance of essence…
and I am reformed,
consciously;
I take the fake parts and hearts
and tear them apart
to reveal the Real,
the healing taking place between
this world and this dream
the great arc, the great bowl
with which my fever is fed,
this empty vessel fueling
fire in my head;
I am held; they drink of me
like a wine sweet;
the intoxication of the beast;
listen, dear sir…would you care
to cleave this belief with me,
turn it into dichotomy?
Ah, there’s the secret, the sane
hand with which I claim
this land, this realm…
splitting hairs for fear of
Life, reconciled in the wiles
of the worm; earth furnished
and tarnished to term…
faded…outmoded…games played
with translucent trust…
am I breaking apart, fading away
claiming only the name of
the game, but suffering the
flame like all the rays
that have manifest here
since the Dawn?
2005
**************************************
Where would I be in this
giant E G G if you were
not
I
am listening
to the waves
as I savor the days
alone on this sea
just a premonition of
Me
The Serpent rises
then descends
within the whims
of All That Is
Take this Night
for instance
who is it that
listens intently
flowing gently
b e t w e e n
worlds within the
essence of things
The Sun rises
the Shadows play
the visions of day
beneath the ray
I
am loving
in all my ways
as I wander my days
and plant my seeds
just a version of
Me
Who would I be in this
eternal E Y E if you were
not
Free
2005
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Vagabond Rambler
I am the pupil in the center of the eye
I am the pupae in the center of the sky
I am the purpose of the moon and the mind
I am the purplepink lustre of the rotting rind.
I am moved not by your manipulation
I am smoothed not by your capitulation
I am removed from your observation
I am soothed by your undulation.
But what does this mean, what does this mean
Where does this lead me, the silver queen
the rampant wnderer of time and rhyme
the vagabond rambler through moistened minds?
And where does this take me, what forgotten land
what does this make me, and by whose hand
where will I lay my weary head my friend
when the path that I tread winds to the end?
2005
******************************************
I have waited my whole life
for this initiation
emancipation into a deeper dream
I have longed to touch
your presence
yearned for the soft delicate
skin of your emergence
and now
the time is ripe to deliver
unto this life a Magical Child.
7-12-2005
to baby
*******************************************
To my little star
How can I speak to you
except in whispers
except in intimations
of smiling songs?
Does the blood course thru
your veins with love
with messages of strength
and beauty and moments
of Joy- from me- in
never ending cascades, my star?
Can you feel these peaks
these twilight states which
urge the beyond
to step into view-
to the mystery of you
and me and life
and breathing this gentle
ether velvet nightshade?
Are the vines which entwine
our souls, divine? And
will they grow in winters
womb-embracing the
space we have to bloom
into a million other
dews- to sparkle within
this fertile blue?
How can I say to you
I love You
more than breathing
except by the blood that
feeds your heart? And the
flood that calls you home?
7-22-2005
*****************************************
Good morning to the rain
to the pitter patter stain
on my little brain
while I sit and think of you...
I let the wind blow in
to my happy hungry grin
thru the pores of my skin
while I feel the beauty of you...
The sun is hiding today
speaking in tones of grey
and trying just to say
that I crave the Light of you...
And here I strain my eyes
to see the smiling skies
to watch the dream pass by
while embracing the truth of you...
I love you with my beating heart
I love you with my bodyparts
and with my silly soulspark
and wait for the birth of you...
8-8-2005
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A Space that Always Is
I feel my Starchild whispering
sending me Lightrays and dancing
opening pathways thru dreaming
of a Space That Always Is.
I feel my Starchild wandering
skipping singing imagining
making a path to meet me here
In a Space That Always Is.
I feel my Starchild waking me
smiling caressing bathing me
within the sun filled opening
of a Space That Always Is.
And will you, Starchild, greet me here
with gentle face and happy tears?
Will you hold my heart in mirth
upon the eve of sacred birth?
Will you dream with me this dream
and shed your light on everything
within this web and pulsing ebb
of a Space That Always Is?
8-8-2005
******************************************
My little dancing firefly
with sunburst eyes
how sweet you fly
within my skies.
I'm sending you kisses
to your little space
in utero
in ether seas-
my little butterfly
transforming me
from maiden to mother
how lovely you feel
dancing within spaces
of my body-
my beautiful Starchild.
8-9-2005
**************************************
Smiles come easily
when your face I see
Life pours in
through me
waiting for birth
to speak to me
something beautiful
is on its way-
laughter to fill
each joyful day
Wonders untold
unfold from inside
me
your smiling eyes
reaching to find me
sweet lovechild.
I await your coming.
8-29-2005
**********************************
How many whispers will it take
to make you come alive
how many dreamers in the deep
will weave our dance of Time
My little Starchild, my friend of soul
I know you've cycled around my life
just waiting to fill the hole...
Those clear eyes I can envision
opening within my womb
urging sunlight to bring forth
a new spring from the tomb.
Yes we have danced together
we've danced and smiled before
encircled within each others bliss
and pulsing thru many worlds.
My little Starchild breathing
absorbing light from my blood
we hold love within this symbiosis
and await the push of the flood.
When in my arms you lay
and I nurture and nourish your spirit
guiding your light to Become
what your blueprint has wired into it-
I will know what life means
yes, then I will know my soul
and in the beauty of a dance
our lives will mingle brave and bold.
9-9-2005
**********************************
Sweet soul smiling like love
I feel you within me
I feel your bright touch
every kick is a kiss
when my womb dances with you
every twist is bliss
as you turn inside me
in light and in truth and
in laughter we dream
flying on clouds
and walking thru seams
nothing could divide
your sweet smile
from mine
but love will soon show
your sweet love
and your glow
to my heart and my soul
and soon I will embrace
you
not only with my heart
but with my
arms
enfolding you
like a flower
in the sweet sunshower
of a life full
of loving promise...
my Starchild.
9-18-2005
************************************
In the midst of love in the midst of you
in the midst of my heart cloaked in truth
our bond is born our bond is strong
alive in laughter in smiles , in youth
my little starchild how I long to hold
your little soul within my heart of gold
in this life we'll share our joy and our love
in this dream we'll soar the skies above
9-22-2005
****************************************
I wait
I fumble through each passing day
hoping to connect with you
on this side of the dream
but it seems you have your own plan
to burst through
when the song is right for your truth
And still I wait
wondering about the scent of your skin
the color of your eyes
the size of your hands
the soft sweet glow that Love demands
I can not force life
to bring you to me
sooner than you want to Be
with me here
embraced in arms
milk-filled breast to nurture you
as another story unfolds
will I be waiting
much longer, then
my little love?
11-14-2005
*********************************
Have you rode in on the blue ray?
Have you come to show me how to play
with dreams
and things
I thought had faded away?
Are you awake so deep you know my
dreams?
Are you open so wide you live in the
stream of endless love?
My precious Starchild, smiling my womb
how beautiful your life is
as I watch you bloom.
My ever-so-pure sweet baby love
you are so far above
all that I've known
the paths I've flown
the threads I've sewn
so far- here- on my journey.
Have you come to lead my heart
to my inner web of love?
Have you come to retrieve me
and waken my soul
to the Urge to Be-
and to See
all the beauty in the world...
You are so beautiful
I am afraid to look!
So sweet soul-
from the ether twist-
I await your time
to join me in
This...
11-17-2005
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BlissNinja 