Poetry from 2001
All poems copyright Charleen Johnston
***********************************
Baby I’ve come to a clearing in the forest
Of my mind
Searched every nook and still I’ve
Come out behind
But I’m
Never too scared to try again
Here comes the sun when I go
Deeply within my self
And only you can show me how
To love
I’ve lived behind glass and now I’m
Above
What I was before I met you.
1-02-01
*****************************************
I have made a
Decision
To stop thinking
Altogether…
The more I try
To think-
The less room
Have I
For the important things.
Things like life.
Things like love.
Things like unity-
Which come naturally
And
From the heart.
My thoughts
Simply
Lead me away
From these things
And betray me.
So my mind shall
Be a still pond-
Where even the smallest
Ripple
Of god
Can be felt and seen.
I am a receptor.
I am a canvas
On which
I allow Gods’
Paint
To create my beauty
And my destiny.
1.10.01
*********************************
(Beefy pt.1)
And I saw the shadows…
Then realized it was you.
Seems you come to me
At the rarest of times…
I can feel you beside me…
Or the space there
That isn’t
You…
And then I remember
Your caress
Your eyes
When they are ultimately happy…
Why is it that space
And time
Take precept over
What is Real?
Like the texture of your
Calloused hands
Smooth to the touch
Which tell me all the
Things
You fear to say.
Yes, I can read it in you,
You are the cutest
When
Trying to hide
Behind that cold
Hard mask
Which breaks down under
Even the
Softest of kisses…
1.13.00
**************************************
I’m wondering where you are
Tonight
I’m sure you are drinking
Bass
Or chugging
The killer Buckfast-
Exchanging social
Gestures
With people you
Really don’t care to speak
To
And then back there
Behind that
Placid
Face I know
There is a sweet
Smile
Anticipating my
Lips
Upon your
Lips
Tasting the
Bliss
Of eternal nowness
Without the drowsy
Foulness
Of society
And the plastic world
Others live
In.
And I’m wondering
Why I can’t
Hold your hand
Now
And
Tell you so
Many things-
Things
I’ve said so many times
But only
To you-
Things you know
Even before
My eyes
Twinkle
That
Twinkle
That says
I LOVE YOU.
And I know
That
Somewhere
Back there
In that curly bop
Head of yours
You are wondering
Where I am
Tonight
And wondering
When you can
Kiss
My lips
In eternal
Bliss.
1.13.01
***********************************
Darling, why must you sleep
So
Far
Away?
(from me)
When slumber prays
For your touch.
When the only I’s
Are
Our
Eyes.
1.14.2001
************************************
(Epiphanies)
In search of the new light, I set out
Darkness to my left and right, but here
I stand, hand in hand with the mourning sun
I step over the great divide
And see the worlds collide
Behind me
I’m walking straight and sure
And I know I’m finally pure
And ready to complete my journey…
At least, from this world to the next…
Separate…and disintegrate-
Feel the world evaporate
Beneath the feet of fate
Where time begins to ovulate.
Inside, outside, over the underside
To the bottom of height
Where a slight of hand
Could smite the land
Of which we tend to cultivate…
But here we wait
We hibernate and slow the rate
Of which we need to procreate
Our minds…
To fill in the lines
Before we obliterate…
Ah, but to stand,
Hand in hand-
Unified and purified
And weary of the land…
We shall rise and realize
The pettiness of our human minds
Amidst the cosmic consciousness
Of which spring we,
The deep abyss
Of ignorance
And eternal stupidity…
But oh…I can feel the rays
Of the coming days
Setting my heart ablaze
With a love of life that
Replaces the hate.
And I can see,
Through Unity that we
Are Divinity-
But separated we are
Faded and jaded
Constipated
And unsaturated in the cosmic sea-
Just a sad suffering plea
To end the trend of humanity
(who worship the I and not the we).
Clouds of knowing pass
Humbling the mass
And still there is insanity.
Life in death and death in life
The golden thread
Dulls the knife
Of stubborn human vanity.
Pride is nothing more than fear
And fear no more than darkness,
Ignorance and apartness…
But the cosmic smile learns to sway
And pierce the center of the day
With golden rays and silver haze
Lighting our way through
The maze,
The path is blazed but the
People are crazed and only
The pure can tolerate the ways
And rise above to learn to love
And love to learn of the deep within
Where every ending blends into begin
And the wheel turns itself
Over again.
1.14.01
***********************************
Well my love, I have you here, with me, in my
Heart. I can feel the grace of your smile and
The heat of your soul as you warm me from within.
My dream is in your dream, and if I awaken, still
You are there. My love, can there be anything
Greater than your arms entwined with mine, swaying
In rhythm to our heartbeats- pounding pounding with
The fierceness of a romantic invasion… your soul
Seeping into mine, and filling me with a sweet
Fragrance…almost…of…fantasy.
My love, you are my white wings to lift me when I
Need to fly- my eyes when I need to see- my heart
When my own is hiding in sweet repose…in passionate
Fear of being lost forever inside your eyes. My love,
My soul begs for you when you are distant, it
Yearns for you when it is cold…can this not be
Eternity? Are you not like my own self, only
More beautiful and more free, and less
Absorbed in your reveries?
Well, my love, I anticipate
Your return. My love for you is deep…
love from the deepest parts of my soul.
1.15.01
********************************
My sweet, I am feeling sorrow now…
I gave you sarcastic
Words
For fear that I was losing you.
And I see the folly of my
Ways.
And I know that you would
Speak only truth
And love
And hope
To me.
And I am sad now, because
I feel I may have
Hurt you
With
Biting words
Cutting like razor sharp teeth
Into frail flesh.
My sweet, can you forgive me
My error?
Can you understand
The depths from which
My love springs-
And find the light in you
That is me?
My sweet, I want no sorrow
To burden me- or you-
And I wish only to
Hold you and kiss
Your weariness away.
01.31.01
*********************************
When the wind catches me
Breathless
I know it is your touch-
Telling me that
You are here
All
Around me…
02.1.01
*********************************
Been hiding the tears
For so many years
That even I
Have forgotten they’re there
Looked out thru foggy eyes
Turning sunshine to cloudy skies
Till even the light is rare.
2.12.01
****************************************
I am a nice girl. When the
Bloody mob is screaming
And grabbing
For my arms
I just smile and say hello.
The tantalizing mass is
Overwhelming. Mindnumb.
deafdumb and young.
In the soul.
Hear that whisper?
I don’t.
It’s just a pattern
Of mixed up emotion
Spilling
Over me like
Black ink.
03.10.01
****************************
(Faith)
…entrancing vibration…
Eyes penetrating
Long forgotten chasms
Demanding the very essence
Of what it means to be
In the trance-
In the state of Me
Isolation deprives the soul
Life force flickers beneath
The flame
And yet I remain
Whole
In prisms of feeling
You echo around me
Parts of you in parts of
Me
Learning what it means
To be
The life force inside of me
Breathing the fumes
Of faint repetitions
Caused by the sword-
And have ye faith in your lord?
3.12.01
*********************************
To my Love in times of Despair
To think I’d give my whole self to you.
A self so unmistakably fragile.
And one dream.
That you, in return, would share
At least
Some of your self with
Me.
These moments when time exists only
As an ache
In your head or heart.
And I watch as the mood changes
From one of white
To one of blue.
I want to cry, sometimes, when
I see you like that-
An unbearable restlessness
Riding your wave like
A shadow…
I want to make you happy.
I want to be all you need
In order to feel the
Light.
I want to hold you and kiss away
All your fears and pains.
Pains you don’t even know are there.
I want to know you in every way-
I want to cradle every part
Of you in my breast-
And feel the same desire seep
Thru
From you.
But I am aware that I
Can not share you.
You hold back.
You are hiding.
You are hiding without your knowing.
Or maybe you know.
And maybe I don’t know.
I do know
That I can feel
There is a part of you that you
Do not give me
And I want to cry
Those times.
Not in mourning. Not in despair.
My tears would be cries of help.
Darling, I have sank into your
Abyss.
Smothered in my love for you.
Tortured for knowing
It could be.
And it will be.
If contentment is a state of Being-
I have found my place there.
I find comfort in knowing you are
Beside me.
Even if only to see you smile. To
Feel your warmth. To whisper
Nonsense in your ear.
My peace stems from my Soul.
I’ve searched long years
Thru many different paths
And known many Hells.
I have found myself there. There-
At the fork in the road.
And ironically, when I found myself,
I also found you.
Do you remember me?
Aeons and aeons ago-
From before the birth of time
Till now,
This eternal moment,
I have known you.
When you were just a thought,
An idea, a concept
I knew you.
When you were embryonic
In the wombs
Of
Desire…
I knew you.
You were always there.
Do you remember me?
Darling, I fear
Only fear.
Your fear.
If only you would break thru
The shell
And speak to me, and-
If it is to be so,
Tell me what I am to you.
Tell me I am yours.
Darling, I would climb forever
To reach the stars
To bring them to you
If I didn’t already have the stars
Right beside me,
In you.
I would weave for eternity,
Knotting the threads of
All my feelings
Into patterns, just for you-
If I didn’t already have
The greatest masterpiece
Of all
Right here
Beside me.
You.
My words do no justice
In showing how my heart
Longs to feel wholly yours.
Is there something lacking
In me?
Is there a piece of me
Missing or forgotten
Which
In turn reflects a part of you
That is
Missing
Or forgotten?
I cast my light upon you
In loving embrace…
Smiles…
Giggles of joy.
Nonsense words and talk that only
You would understand.
When I give my pearls to you-
Do you accept them?
I sit shivering outside my soul
Afraid to go
Deeply in.
For fear that I will not find a light
Cast back
Upon me
From you.
I suppose all we can ever hope to
Find in others
Is what we ourselves reflect
Of our own will…
Are you not my shadow?
Do not my thoughts linger
Before you
Behind you
Beside and
Upon you?
Are you not my journey?
My life is a moment.
Only now is.
And now my heart is flooded
With passion
And longing for you.
What it is…
What it is…
I don’t know.
And how do I allow my tongue
To form the words
To tell you all this
Without feeling,
Once again,
The fool.
The clown.
The little girl hiding in a corner.
The child afraid to speak
Of anything
That may expose her soul.
I’ve broken down those walls,
With you.
I’ve climbed thru the chasm
And survived
And found
You.
And what more can I say?
Darling, if only I could show you.
Would I then be free?
03.20.01
*****************************
(The Elephants)
It was in the car
One night
That my father pointed
Out the elephant.
Its silken trunk dancing
In the wind.
It had not occurred
To me
Before then
How all things are something
Else
Entirely.
Now, as I look across
The lonely streets,
Awaiting the suns dance
Into dawn,
I see the elephants.
They are asleep, now,
Their trunks laying softly
To their sides.
They are awaiting
The first breath of
Morning
The calm breeze
Will lift them
Once again,
That peaceful breath
Of eternity,
Making all things
Come alive…
And dance.
4.21.01
****************************
Crawling up my spine
Are
Ghosts of you.
Glimmering, shimmering
Praying to get through.
I lay down to the sound
Of the hustle bustle
World
Outside-
Hoping for dreaming so
My demons can flee and
So face to face I can meet you
-in grey…
Smiles are fond of
Laughing and
Eyes glisten when
tears are near-
Dancing to the sound
Of silence and laughing
In the face of fear.
Gentle breeze, unsheathing me,
Releasing me from my
Struggle to breathe-
You are like an embrace
Of truth
When your voice
Wraps around me like
The finest
Chinese silk.
Glimmering shimmering
Beautiful Chinese silk…
4.29.01
***********************************
I am peeking out from the
Depths of the
Womb-
Getting a feel,
A preview of Life.
I am nourished and sustained
Here.
We were conceived, my lover and I,
On the Fifth street.
A flowering seed needing care
And we developed into our embryonic
State,
From room 304 in our first trimester
To our second in 306.
We have been keeping
Our warmth, now, in
This great womb,
In our third trimester, in this
Great matrix, in room 307.
From the window (open always)
The number of rebirth and change
Glows from across the street.
As if the birth itself
Were to be a mystery.
Soon, we will be forced out,
Involuntarily? Voluntarily?
Into manifested form-
A new life,
As one---
And this womb is nourishing
The heart and soul
Of that which we are, and will
Become.
05.01
****************************
When does time cease to exist?
When you let it pass thru you,
Let it become you-
That is when time ceases to exist.
When one moment is shared by
All souls,
That moment is pure.
I cease to exist
In f o r m
Today.
The suns gifts of loving rays
Touching upon
My shoulders.
There is music all around me.
Inside me.
Outside me.
The music is me-
There are no boundaries
When time
Exists
No more.
And a place with no boundaries
Is the only place
one can find
Love.
05.01
*****************************
Mockingbird mockingbird
Rocking the spoken word
Juicing the rocket-flow
With no place left to go
Crisp lips and satin and suede
Stream of soft silk
Like oil-of-olay
Taking flight
Is all that’s left
To do-
Crawling bare belly
And wandering the moon
Begging for hope
Then giving in too soon
Taking and giving
And making the dough, the flow,
Shaping the city
With a positive glow
Mockingbird mockingbird
King of the spoken word
Voice like sandy breeze
When first ever you heard.
05.01
*****************************
It flashes before me
Like a pleasant surprise
Seemed it’d take longer
To pry open my eyes
The sun is a guide
Through which we may see
If we break thru the masks
And take a peek.
05.01
*****************************
I can see why creation
Is immortal
Who could imagine
Such splendor
Being anything but
Existing…
And I breathe,
Knowing-
And I smile,
Knowing-
And I dance,
Knowing I am at peace…
And I kiss your mouth
In joy and bliss…
Could anything but heaven
Feel like this?
05.01
*********************************
It stirs in me.
Like a restless tornado.
It funnels first thru my heart-
Then the complexities are
Worked out, in
My mind-
Or overlooked altogether.
I want to calm this tornado.
But-
Am I the tamer or the tamed?
Am I the blamer or the blamed?
I witness a rise in
The temperature of my longing-
The longing to be free…
Of my own self-created phantoms.
And as quickly as
It came-
It leaves.
But the stain is permanent-
A marking on the fabric
Of my life,
Which is held
Tightly
Be the threads
Of my own
Ego.
05.01
******************************
We are living
And loving
And being
Straining our eyes
To see and
All around us
There smells of spice
Underneath the foggy satin
Of the skys’
Lights
We are laughing
And crying
And seeing
That love is believing
That we are
One.
O5.01
***************************
I peruse these tunnels with buoyancy-
Bouncing from spectacle
To spectacle
In a maddening trance
I watch the shadows
Light makes
As it joins me in
My dance.
The rhythm of silence
Set against a backdrop of chaos-
This is music when the mind wants peace!
This is music when the wind has ceased!
Some lights are on full blast
Some off, and some turned dim to fade-
Each a spark of the divine flame
Of which we all are made.
I summon my serpents… I feel them rise…
Their smooth white skin leaving a
T R A I L
Of awareness up my spiraling spine!
Up! Up into that vast dreamland
Where the horizon merges with the
Sea, the sky, the
Inner eye,
And the part of me which is whole.
Still, I remain motionless, as the spectacles
Seem to fade, allowing the
Dance of eternity into the world
That I have made.
05.30.2001
*********************************
Ode to the city
I am a crack in the sidewalk,
Only a fragment
Upon which they tread,
Unaware,
On this bloody sojourn
They know as life…
My sensitivities are peculiar,
My tastes are strange.
My lack of inhibition leaves me an
Open flower
With heart, piston, stamen, pollen
Vulnerable…
Fragile.
I am aware.
I know the darkness behind their eyes.
I am familiar with the desperation between their brow,
As they talk themselves into just
One more smile.
It is barren here-
Though ignorance walks in armies
Over this trodden path,
Where
Fertility and nourishment decayed
Long ago
Cold nights, bitter winds, scorching sun of noon
And summer;
These things they fear.
Without shelter from the outer stimuli,
Until even their bodies deteriorate
Like the rot
On a bug ridden tomato corpse.
How is it that I float so
Gracefully
Past these stench-ridden
Maggot-flesh princes?
I smile from my Inner being
To my outer sheath-
Wishing everyone could see the delight I see-
In this city full of darkness.
I bounce with each step
Anticipating the journey ahead,
Trying to overcome those
Obstacles
Which have played the victor over so many
Of these lost
Children.
I have played my part to the script.
I have endured the classical
Tortures
Of growing up fully human in a mechanical
Society-
From poverty
To puberty
To promiscuity….
Just steps to the temple?
I’ve dug deep into my own
Compost of buried feelings and dreams-
That pile of dead thoughts and
Actions-
Until in
My fingertips
There lay fragments of bloodied
Passions
Trying to exist still
In the background of my soul.
But I forgive the wastes…
I forgive the waster…
I forgive the passions…
I forgive the lies…
All in all,
I met my demons,
My shadow which lurked
Behind my wall of security;
I came face to face with the
Darkness of my soul.
And when I glimpsed it, in its
Own glory, in its own light,
My fears subsided
And my shadow began to
Look just like me
Only more beautiful…
Because no longer do I
Exist as separate portions
Of my deeper self-
But as an ethereal mixture
Of my negative and positive natures.
I am whole.
They don’t understand my peace.
They don’t understand my release.
How I wish and pray
They could forgive themselves
For whatever misdeeds and
Shortcomings they clutch onto,
Still, from their past-
In this life
And in many others.
Or if only they could see how
Beautiful their demons are
When they are no longer demons!!
But I am a crack
Between two solid bodies…
Heaven and earth…
The sacred and profane…
And they notice me,
But walk past as though I am not
One of them. And I am.
I am them.
05.30.2001
*******************************
I glitter like radiant
Pearls
From the deepest chasms
Of my soul
To the tips of my
Naked
Fingers.
Something carries me
Arms uplifted
In praise
For
Life itself…
I am liberated
Like a
Butterfly-
Even if only to revel
In the wonders
For a
Short time.
06.02.01
*******************************
I am in and out of
Myself
Today
My quiet ponderings
Turning
Work to play
Helios gives my skin
Its glow
Falls thru chasms
To my world
Below
This is Divine Light
This is home
Here we are love-
All must Become
And until the sky
Smiles
And waves
To see the Father
Free his
Slaves
The world will pass
From
Day to day
Roaming in
And
Out
Of the words
I say.
6.06.01
************************************
Abundance Prayer
Oh great Goddess! Great receiver and nurturer!
Your glory is the creation of Love, Light, Life and Laughter.
In your warmth, I stand- comforted.
Oh great God! Great giver and sustainer!
Your glory is the creation of Love, Light, Life and Laughter.
In your warmth, I stand- comforted!
By the grace of Love and Unity-
I have Abundance....
of wealth...
of energy...
of courage...
of light...
of life...
of laughter...
of love...
of serenity...
of peace...
I have abundance- and the wisdom to distribute it back to the universe!
Oh great goddess! Great God!
I am of you, in you, with you, and part of you. My soul is nurtured by your harmony!
With your light, I possess all knowledge of the world-
of the physical, emotion, mental, spiritual planes of existence!
I am overflowing in abundance, oh great spark of divinity!
Great Cosmic Flame!
In your heart I dwell-
and you in mine!
July 2001
*************************************
when things they breathe and bring the seeds
to fruit
I know that time is on my side
in my mind
following after, before, and behind
the grind...
Just two fried eggs on a
toasted head,
and that's the worst,
the devil said,
until the roses rise from
the dead.
July 2001
*******************************
rainbows they pelt me brainflows they melt me
with Inescapable scenes of gore
they crawl up me and sprawl out beneath
the long forgotten floor
to remind me of the ancient lore
and signs of times i cannot find
inside my tiny little mind
are facing backwards so as not to plague
the senses of the meek and vague
and whilst i wander, looking within
I find the lines are growing thin
between the worlds of which i tread
making light my source of bread
and even now, I am fed
July 2001
********************************
dancing the dreaming and
freeing the demons
who reside inside the wall
will seal the deal
and reveal the real
as the lonely shadows fall
the dragonfly will flitter by
unnoticed by the crowd
till the magus' lines free the rhymes
and speak them clear and loud
whispering the wondered words
while wandering upon these shores
i sit in silence pondering the violence
that seeps into my pores
July 2001
********************************
I starve my belly
With divine intent-
I shape the contours of my
Transient world
Tender blessings from heaven
Are sent
In hopes of quenching
Our thirst for war.
07.01.01
*******************************
Oh darling,
with your bronzed
skin taunting me
into arousal-
your fine delicate
curls beckoning my embrace-
are you alone, there,
without my arms around your waist?
7-1-2001
*******************************
The sun
Whispers
His golden promises
And sings
His
Lullaby
In my ears…
I am watching
His face
Turn amber orange
As he
Tries to hide
His smile!
07.01.01
**************************
Shadow Girl
Shadow girl…
Do they call you ceaseless
Dreams?
Do they watch you sliver
Slyly around
Their little worlds?
Shadow girl-
With bright eyes
Peering in the background
Searching for a
Taste of light?
Amongst these sullen smiles
They move-
In and out
Of each others form-
Taking bits and leaving
Pieces…
Hoping they can salvage
A sense of
Self…
...their shadows weep.
But Shadow girl…
Do they call you Light?
Do you oscillate between
The spectrum-
Moving within and without
The black and
The white?
Do they call you ceaseless dreams?
Or the wanderer or dreamless seas?
07.03.01
***********************************
anyway, anyday, any part
in the many plays
your thoughts will circle
the same ole maze
and hearing sunlight you clamber through
your barren rooms to reach the roof
but fearing darkness you sink again
wandering and wondering when to begin.
hmmmm.hmmmm.hmmm.....
July 2001
**************************************
simply a smile can speak
the silence
that stares us in the eyes
when the point of light breaks
and the days and nights wake
and the price is always
the only
stake
you know its time to die
to your self
your small self
that hides and flees
refuses to believe
that you are beautiful
soaking the shine from
the moon so full,
and in this silence
I sing to you,
I hear your truth
I hear your truth
I hear your truth
July 2001
***********************************
billowing, pillowing my thoughts against
the rain
returning to days when there was no pain
effervescent glows from
those we know
eyes aligning with the nucleus
of the show
preening, careening....screening
the old from the new
the me from you,
the up and over from the far and few
between the teeth
and the tongue
the subtle songs of life
are sung
scraping and tapering off into
a world where
nothing is ever new.
July 2001
***************************
thinking, trying not to blink and
now i cannot see
thru the clouds covering me
wasting away in spite of light
and fighting to be free....
July 2001
****************************
Waves glisten like turquoise dreams
drowning the bravest who mingle
between
the wall of water in twilight beams...
straightening out amongst itself,
it exposes the deepest of chasms-
the cosmic orgasm
has peaked
tweaked
felt compelled to speak...
and the wave remains
calm.
7-17-2001
*********************************
Your eyes are burning embers
which ignite my soul
your essence twists
around my senses
beckoning my toughest defenses
until our spirits merge
and our hearts are one.
7-22-2001
***************************
Ceaselessly
these moments
entwine
-urging me
to harmony
and I quiver
at the sight
of
Love...
Where have these reckless
winds
come from?
8-5-2001
******************************
I dissolve myself into you
I breathe
and I feel the ease
of which you permeate me
Like so many days
before
I urge you further
and I am lifted....
spirit ascending...
by your arms.
8-06-2001
*****************************
Parts of me
break away-
afraid of purity...
and from the corner
of my eye
I see them dance
away
freely-
I sigh-
wondering
how long till
my soul
completes its journey
of
reintegration.
8-7-2001
***************************
Did you ever know you glow?
Your pale skin reflecting light
Like an effervescent snow…
Goddess…
Nurturing, supporting life with
Your unbound smile-
Only your eyes could
Know
Those warm places
Where only mothers can go…
08.22.01
******************************
Sweet June
One by one
Your petals spread, freeing
Your light from within-
Beneath the sheath you have shed.
Like morning dew
They are drawn to you…
Your spirit emanating
In brilliant hue…
To enclose you is to
Smother you
Best let the flower
Have freedom too,
Like water you soak
The sunlight
And like fire
You radiate, too
You are calm and gentle
Like mother earth
With air to carry your
Dreams to birth…
Sister of the morning sun
Daughter of the sea-
Spread your petals
One by one
And show your dreams to
Me!!
08.23.01
**************************
From beyond these eyes
I reach out
to them
I beckon them
to experience
my world-
to feel my joy...
It takes only
patience
to learn their smiles-
to understand their
pain-
And in this world,
I have nothing to gain
if it is my own soul,
only, that I choose to entertain!
So I tease them
from
my lips to my words
to my
spontaneously absurd
smiles...
I am asking them
to dance with me
in the joy
that is
my world.
8-27-2001
****************************
I tilt, wavering somewhat peacefully...
perfectly aware
of the Passing
Time...
My soul knows balance,
but manifests its secrets
beyond time-
beyond form.
I precede from day
to
day
endlessly
analyzing the current seen
-scene
Tilting, here on this tightrope
and stammering...
stuttering to speak
with perfect speech-
my dream....
to fall away
from this ledge
unbroken
unscarred-
but time wipes clear
his weary eyes
and
begins to
turn
once more.
8-27-2001
**********************************
I am in the place of
The heart,
My mind drifts
A w a y
From
M e
Like a struggling child
In fear of the
Void
But here I am
In
My spirit
Appraising all I have had
I would not change
My past
No matter
If I could
For my soul was
Nurtured
In subtle ways
By the experiences
Of the world.
09.01
**************************
Swinger of moonbeams
And giver of
Smiles-
Secret laughter
Can be heard for miles!
Mimicking the sea
She sits in
Silence-
Till the airy breeze
Of thoughts
Shall rustle her once more…
09.01
****************************
On memories tower
I see a castle
Full of roses and
Surrounded by water.
I can hear voices
Like angels
And there is a peace
That radiates from everything.
The sun always shone,
In those days
Despite the winters cold.
I open my eyes and
Return to the moment-
Where I feel I’m free…
In a sense…
To be all I dreamed
I could be…
And the roses are
Still blooming
In that castle
Made for angels…
O9.01
******************************
I circle this moment again and again
Spirit seeping thru the tip of the pen
My smiles are like fragrance
To the low mans heart
To be given hope is a mimic of a start
Here in this playground, swinging the swings
Falling down and scraping our knees
Finally we learn to keep our balance,
To laugh at ourselves, and stand on our own…
Then to discover we are right at home.
09.01
******************************
I settle into my own skin
Feeling heavy as my world begins
Spirit shaking
From density
Heart not used to intensity
I breathe…
Letting the sun
Caress my thoughts
As though caught
In eternity.
And you…
You are so free
You beckon me
To become
What eventually I will be-
Or what already I am
Underneath this
illusionary plan
To succeed…
09.01
******************************
(Guiding Light)
Stay true, my brother
To the art of life.
Never surrender to the
Part of strife.
Close your
Eyes
And feel yourself
Peel away
The sheath-
Exposing the tender
Center
Hidden softly
Underneath…
Stay true, my brother
Keep your head high
Aim for the farthest star
And your light
Shall never die.
Open your
Eyes
And know yourself-
Steal the grey
From the day
And bless it with color
In your own
Special way.
Stay true, my brother
In the face of the night.
Look within for the call,
Your heart is your guiding light.
09.2001
********************************
It must be hard for the Bard
It must be hard for the Bard
To bend the key
To play the songs of irony
To sing the silence with a smile
To dance the spirit with style
It must be hard for the Bard
Who never heard himself play
Who never saw his own glory
Who never told his own story
Who never chose the words to say
It must be hard for the Bard
To know that life is his refrain
To keep the crowd applauding still
To follow the song of strength of Will
It must be hard for the Bard
To Be
To exist mutually
With Harmony
In a world created
For only him to see…
09.01
******************************
It was fear
That kept this hand mute
Wavering
Unsteady
Afraid to pollute-
Or to praise
A world still unknown?
What would I have
To
Give,
If not my heart?
Where would I fly
In this enclosed world
If inside my
Mind
I were not free?
And now once more, courage
To translate my soul
Into a language
Some
May understand.
09.01
*****************************
It was twilight when I reached for you-
I touched your soul…
I think so at least,
Am I the beauty or the beast?
I love to sit and stare at you
Peering thru your wall of truth
To find the spark
I know is there.
09.01
********************************
I want to scribble my dreams
Down
On this empty sheet
The pursuit of freedom
Is stronger
Than
Fear of defeat.
To limit yourself
Is to build the wall
Brick by brick
You blur the call.
And does this
Jumbled
Mess of ink
Have half the potential
To translate how
I think
And
How I feel when my
Heart is free
Swimming gracefully
In the cosmic sea?
Well surely my visions
Unbound, shall be
The manifestation…a
Replica of dream,
And when my arms
Embrace
The heart of the world
And my eyes reveal
The beautiful pearl
Of which
My spirit
Possesses
In abundance- my
Soul confesses to
Persephone…
that which I know as
True
Will reach from my
Heart to connect with
You-
If a smile is a spirit
On high- a glittery
Wink of the inner eye
Is a perfect compliment
To the night sky…
There dwells the
Gatekeeper, the
Dark one at dawn
To surrender yourself
To the defiant son
Is to desecrate your
Connection
To the All, the One-
By refusing to acknowledge
Your spirit inside
(an eternity of facades)
To close your eyes-
Is in truth a lack
Of faith
In the light and
The love
In which you are made.
09.01
*******************************
Something
BIG is
Coming
Its on its way
I’ve got to stay
Rooted in
My
Soul
To fully appreciate
The
Life
I create.
09.01
*****************************
Little girl wrapped around the Moon
Reflection of malfunction
In the spiritual womb
Ah, sweet silk of the silent
Night sky,
Singing songs that keep
Her asking why?
Dancing, ah! She dances, little
Love-maker, soul-quaker, swimming
Past the ocean breakers…
To a place where she is free-
Ms. Intense and her defense
Is writing down her world,
The moon is bright, is full
Of light,
And the little girl is howling,
Screeching in the night,
The backstreets of the world,
Fervours and fevers and false
Perceivers clutching her soul
Too tight.
Waning, waxing, full and new…
Every second she infiltrates you,
Eyes hypnotize
Because they know
All the demons you never show,
And she mingles with them,
Causes tingles in them when they
Try to hide,
But she’ll never tell the secrets of the souls
Of those she chose
To walk on the tightrope side by side
Hoping for dreaming so her demons can
Flee and
The moon will rise before her
Receptive eyes, and
Place her among the stars in the skies.
10.05.01
***************************
At noon there were two
but what went before
was the curious knocking
upon a curious door
and the light that shone thru
the cracks in the floor
let them know who
they were looking for
As the hand of the clock
turned to the One
the search for the song
soon had begun
and the door it creaked open
till the light could be seen
and in all her glory
sat the great Queen
She beckoned the two
said they had been there before
she mentioned the tune
they were searching for
The chamber went dark
the floor dropped away
"Follow your heart"
was all she would say
and they fell into the abyss
arms held tight
Awaiting a kiss
from the Ivory knight
who would lead them to Love
who would lead them to Light
and they realized the flame
which had given them sight
And that spark it was true
was from the divine
and their souls were now mended
for the rest of all time....
November 2001
*************************************
Down paths we trod
bowing to a god
that has no face
to trace
but thru the woods
we follow our shoulds
and walk the walk of
time
breathing with the pines
tripping over the lines
where color spilled
so many times before
And will the angels find us
will the tangles
climb up
the victories we have built
with but one arm around us?
November 2001
*****************************
I twist to my left
To reveal the
Song,
Stumbled upon
The path to belong
But the light shines
Brilliantly
As I lay upon
My harmony
With eyes open
And smiling
Holding my breath
In eternity…
The song it sways
And the purity plays
Games with my soul-
Catching the calls
Of the people who
Pause
To hear the Great Song-
I contort to trace the
Tunes
Form my nerves to my heart
With hope that
The song
Will never slip apart.
11.19.01
*******************************
Moonbeams
And June dreams
And silent little reveries
Are what I see
When
Your name is whispered…
Spoken with intensity
Sparkling songs
Of Harmony
Joyously dancing-
Dancing free-
that’s what I know
When it’s your name I whisper…
When the glimmer
Sprays
Sun rays
Washing the grey from your
Day…
When the moon
Tunes itself to light
And light tunes itself to you
The fragrance of freedom
Whispers thru
Spelling your name
In Morning Dew…
11.19.01
********************************
I am pure, wrapped in light
undiluted and unpolluted
and glowing in the night!
I once was lost, caught
in my own web of loss,
afraid to face the day
for fear of breaking away.
No boundaries exist, i am free
i morph in and out of
the things and people I see...
I wrap my shadow around their
thoughts, I urge them on to dream,
they feel my presence there
but their eyes have yet to see...
In essence i am you,
in essence i am truth,
my face is full of laughter
and my heart is full of youth,
you forget that you know me,
you have wandered off your path
and in bitterness you hide
from the ghost of your wrath,
but i am not to fear,
only fear can maim,
and you are really no different
than I, in essence we're the same.
I am a shiver down your spine,
the shudder that knows
and your skepticism is following
the darkness where it goes
And i try to hold my tongue
for fear of letting go
of the truth that i possess
...in time you shall know.
I am pure, wrapped in light
invisibly i protect you,
ambiguous in the night...
a shapeshifter, a dream
a feeling of love
in this ever-flowing stream...
where only the brightest
will see the golden mean
and anticipate the day
when the darkness fades away
and your eyes, newly formed,
will open to the haze,
and born of love and wisdom
your heart will raise its beat
and the tempo of existence
will bring us to our feet.
11-24- 2001
****************************
spilling over the edge,
her thoughts are but a drug
she wanders through the hedges
like a meandering bug
with a bunch of cunts
playing frisbee on the rug
splitting hairs and writhing pairs
are cuddled nice and snug
November 24 2001
*******************************
I am puzzled by my own pieces
firmly held in place
by the structure of light
as it moves across my face
I am dazzled, these days
forced into laughter
feeling as though the world were mine
for now and ever after
and the setting sun it twinkles
sends sparks of hope to my eyes
I falter in my flight
as i take to the skies
I am found, forming once again
a body of love and light
You see me in your dreams
as I float thru the night
and still the pieces puzzle me
throw my mind into confusion
I attempt to escape this prison
and overcome the worlds delusion.
November 24th, 2001
*****************************
ah, all around me
clowns surround me
fools applaud me
for knowing why
And in a sense
I suppose -
Innocence
is a rose, the flower
of power to the fool
who goes
thru the cycles
thru the turns
thru the waters
and lives to learn
And all about me
in and out of me
stretched like skin
upon the sea
I enfold the water
like a nurtured daughter
with waves of sapphire glee---
Pinpointed and circled by them
as having aspirations
worthy of men,
I find my rhyme is but a slime
on the soul of humanity.....
December 2001
****************************************
BlissNinja 