Where in this existence am I

Where in this existence am I?
Out wandering beneath the sapphire sky?
Crawling on my knees
digging in the dirty disease
of life
taking turns with god
in the neon light
of the turquoise dream
finding the ocean beneath the stream
my eyes bleeding from constant sight
unwavering in the dark of night.
Countless days I've spent in vain
bathing in the acid rain
peeling my skin from my brittle bones
plastered to the iron stones
of Life.
Where in this existence am I? 
A diamond in the sunlit sky? 
Casting my shadow across the barren ground
pretending to be a god
in the world that I have found?
Inside the embryo
I wallow in blood
awaiting the push of the eternal flood
into a life where feelings are stone
and bitterness of the unanswered quest
leaves me cold and alone.

5-4-2000