YoungSterileDreamOfLove

(young sterile dream of love) where are you hiding?
Is it worth my mental birth for you to confide in?
Confuse me confound me
 Search all around me
   My eternity is yours to keep.
I want only not sleep
  Awake to take a gentle peek.
To know is to lie, to lie is hate
  To hate is futile  (and futility awaits)
(sweetinnocenthope) of which I ungrasp-
   Grasping tighter but lighter still
      Than ever you will.
How often does our love ride
  Upon the horse of doom?
Sweeping away the truththetrustthehumanlust
  With the cosmic broom?
Pity! Oh pity! Those who fell
  Were well ahead of the rest!
Skipping the ripening feast of fest(ering cries)
Stagnant and pregnant with lies.
Deliver me, oh deliver me-
  Softly lay me down beneath the tree-
  Where its arms comfort me in the breeze-
   The breath of mortality.
I ask not to be (forever be)
  But moreso to feel thee-
Here and now…
  No whenbutwherehow
And all I ask is to love thee-
  With all my heart radiantly. 

  Charleen Johnston    (8.24.00)

written when i was 19 in san francisco