I came thru the other side of that and learned that it’s not about Transcending but about Integrating. Spirit plays here for its own reasons, and is drawn to this Earth Flesh Playground because it wants to Feel Deeply and experience visceral Life. Being a very plutonic underworld person but aiming always for the spirit when I was in my 20s, it took a lot of delusional wake up experiences to Own all that I had believed myself to have transcended. All that stuff I thought I had evolved past, I had simply dissociated from, and the force of its wrath at being ignored and suppressed made its fury known in physical symptoms and deeply imbalanced emotional reality with a dash of incredibly Underworld-like navigations thrown in. The higher I thought I was flying in those years, the more pure i thought I was, came at a price and it was collected by the Dark Feminine in 2018. And since complete dissolution and and finally Truly making friends with the parts of the Self that I had trapped in deep subterranean caves and dungeons , with compassion, and awareness that it was a matter of freeing bit by bit, those fragments from all timelines trapped in my Prizm Cell.Ves. Instead of ‘Mind over Mattering’ my body and pushing it to extremes, instead of convincing myself I was pure and lofty and fully my idealized Spirit Self-the Puer( my online and business name even used to be Puella Eterna for 13 years)- i became engaged in the true Alchemical Work. I Realized how abusive I had been to Psyche and Body all those years ( and lifetimes) of denigrating the dark hungry fiery tempest of my soul, the Feminine, thinking I could Will Myself into the magical spheres of the heavenly abodes:.:::: I have always been easily carried away on the wings of spirit, can easily disembody into OBE states etc. What I came here to do, Now, was to actually Make This Body Fully Conscious , for it is the Marriage bed of Eros and Psyche, and the Alchemy of Life uses all vibrations to create.
When I made friends with the depth of my own Pain and Anger and Lust for Aliveness, Lust for Intensity of Being, and my own Arrogance etc ( Scorpio ascendent/Mercury conjunction, sun/Uranus Scorpio conjunction( all ruled by mars) and all in the 1st house( house of mars/Aries), with an Aries moon( mars ruled) and Mars aspecting strongly every planet in my chart = I was a complete Fool to imagine that I was a soft and ethereal spiritual angelic figure floating in the higher spheres…..:. I am a child of Mars, and Mars at its best is the Blood and Passion and Vitality to Exist and Move in this Realm, Mars is the defender and protecter of all that is sacred in creation, it is Raw, Brash, Authentic, Physically Vital, Mentally Agile, Temperamental….and Serves the Feminine……
When I truly came to Know Myself and stopped building castles in the sky, but used my archetypal Mercurial nature along with Mars to go to the Underworld and reclaim the very Selves I had locked up thru this Infinite Game over Time, I came Alive and learned what real Power is.
That’s my journey. I have compassion for that person I was and thought I was, but I have made my Vow, to Die in Battle, as a Sacred Warrior, and a Warrior must be in touch with his/her Fire and Anger and lust and Blood and sacrifice it on the alter of the Feminine Creation…..
( of interest is the relation of mars and Saturn… Mars/Blood is made in the Marrow of the bones/Saturn…… Mars is the Warrior who serves The Saturn Kingdom, which is the very energy that gives Form to the life principle:= in my chart, My mars is in Sagittarius/conjunct Neptune ( the spiritual warrior) in the second house( using the physical body/ it’s values and resources) And is Square( tension) (serving) Saturn in Libra which is also conjunct to almost a degree…… in the 11th house/ community and the larger stage of service to the people: It’s all written in Light Codes we wove ourselves into.
My heavy 12th house/ underworld where Pluto/hades sits exactly to the minute almost, with Venus, is my Lifelong lesson…..spiritualizing and completely transforming the Sexual and Aesthetic principles……using the raw lust and vitality of The black Goddess Black Carbon through Dionysus protean morphing Imaginal spheres under intense pressure to create the Diamond Body.:::: the twin Sisters of Carbon666 and Daimond ….. the Treasures hidden in this Earth and this Flesh and this Game of Matter Mater Mother Matrix Maat.
The Psyches realm is a dark realm that takes in everything….light and dark and everything in between. It likes the humus of earth, the compost, the shit of life, the messy smelly sweaty fleshy human realm of bodies bumping into bodies in sensate expression , playing with selves in Carnes Nation, the carnal nest of alchemy, where Soul is the Imaginal Playscape and Spirit must come Down To Earth to Play with Form.
I spent so much time out of body for the first 26 years of my life; I’m now happily Wed in the alchemical marriage bed knowing the Great Work goes on and on and on, and my relationship with Saturn has transformed my life into one of beauty: I used to balk at Saturn and his crusty old crystallization and constriction of my ever-so Icarus-like ideals……
But….
I am the Sacred Warrior who Serves the Divine…:.I serve the King and the Kingdom and Protect and Honor the Queen and her Queendom… because as the Mercurial Martian or the Martian Mercurius……..the Foolish Warrior or the Warrior Fool, my realm is not just the heavens but I travel between the Yooer and the Lower and The middle realms and so I just be able to hold the Tension of all Their Frequencies.
An honest person is one who knows his own capacity to Lie but chooses Truth…..a Strong person knows his own capacity for Violence but chooses Restraint….a Wise person is one who knows his own capacity for ignorance and knows he is a Fool…..a Peaceful person is one who knows his own Anger and so is not blindsided when least expecting it, and thus knows what it is to be Gentle.
May the black moist Fertile Soil keep your Roots nurtured as your branches reach for the Sky ⭐️🙌⭐️
Aho.
10-18-24
My friends post that my response is in reference to.
another way of saying what I expressed, is that as a Waving Being who Becomes Particular….in this journey of Embodiment through the entire Spectrum of Light and Frequency….. is that I am in the Prizm Cell of All my Lives in All Realities, in All Times and Spaces……expressing through this Body, Now, which is made up of All of Me~s, all the Cell.ves and Organ~I~zed Cohesions holographically …. In terms of Light… Infrared all The way thru UltraViolet….we also Embody as Sound and All variations of frequency.
Infrared penetrates all the way thru Earth and hence Body, ‘the smokeless fire’…..the realm of the Djinn….. that is where we have the Dark parts of ourCellves ….not Evil…..Darkness and of a different spectrum …..Ultraviolet more akin to our Angelic SidesOfSelf..,;;
When we seek the UV and demonize the Infrared, we get trapped in the Prizm of our own fragmentation…..we disown a huge amount of the deepest aspects of Being, whilst grasping for the Angelic Aspects: They have their Realms for a reason.:::::.
When I speak of going deep into the underworld, to mine the treasures of Pluto/Hades in the darkest layers of Self trapped and submerged and cast off in this infinite journey, I speak of going into the Infrared WaveForms of Self that are as much Me as the UV or higher vibration LightWaves that are of a very different nature, but equally Me.
Fire & Light
Is a poetic way of playing with it
In my lifetime of ‘out of Body’ experiences and traversing in the high frequency Light of detachment and lucidity, the permeations are very different than when I go deeply ‘in body experience’ which is raw and primal and Fiery and red heat of Feeling….
Our Bodies give us a Playground where we bring All Of these Refractions of Self into one Expression , as a Tether, if you will, to Come To Terms With Self Literally To Bring to Term Our Self Like a Mother carrying To term Her Baby
New creation.
The more we Integrate and ReClaim all the fractured frequencies that issue From our own Spark of Existence as a Being Who Is,
The more we Free those frequencies to Nourish all Of Bodies In all Of Times.
If the very Elementals/elements that make up my fleshly abode are brought into a cohesive net of Understanding and Loving Awareness, as they go on in their journey and become part of other bodies and abodes, they themselves are able to bring healing …
Like the Dwarves who live deep in earth and who are like elementals in a sense
And Elves who are like the perfected or angelic higher selves
And the HuMan, here in the Middle Earth,
Thigh we are all of them Depending on which Angle Of the Arc We Shine our I’s From
‘Voluptas lies curled in the womb of Psyche’….. Old painting of mine from 2009)
“The Poison is the cure”
Let me say it again: the result is not merely the objectification of subjective "me-ness," but the objectification of its material basis. This has been dissolved, calcined, tortured, putrefied, and distilled to a clarity that can be completely seen through, as if it were not there at all, not a speck of literalism remains, not even spiritual literalism. The libidinal compulsion, the organic towardness of hope and desire that would always go further for a faraway grail, turns around on itself and dissolves itself. The snake eats its own tail-another goal image of deconstructive subversion. The snake of healing, transformation, and rebirth, the goals most dearly desired, and the artifex's obedient service, all dry to dust, mineralized. The uroboric motion poisons (iosis) the very idea of cure. Or, poison is the cure.
What is actually accomplished by the alchemical work? According to my psychological fantasies, it is the objectification of the libido-our lives are not our lives. The alchemical goal is the realization in its complete sense of Freud's "object libido," The libido as a cosmic erotic dynamic that permeates the world because it loves the world of matter, even though it has been caught in the personal delusions of subjectivity, so that we believe we love the world, or can be improved or instructed to love the world. Whereas it is the object libido that loves the world through us, despite us. The anima in chains in the matter of "me, " and we place it there each time as we ask psychologically, what is the matter with me? Alchemy answers, saying: you, I, everyone, the world is matter, elemental material, and we indulge in the materials, as the artifex in the laboratory, all along believing that you are working on you, your life, your relations, your processes until the day dawns, aurora. You awaken within the idea of the goal, the goal not somewhere else out there calling for attainment, but you are within the idea. But because the mind is still trapped in me-ness, we shamelessly assert that the idea is in me when your mind is in the idea. You awaken to the recognition that you are already in that stone, mineralized, stoned out of your mind.
If my reading is on track and the telos or "that for the sake of which" is the de-subjectification of the object libido, then we are obliged to imagine resurrection from this vantage point, which hardly conforms with a Christian reading of either alchemy or resurrection. For now resurrection would indicate not the confirmation throughout eternity of the personal subject and its body saved from the world and the devil of its flesh but rather the resurrection of the body of the world with an idea to its eternity. Not the lifting, the Aufhebung, of material worldliness but the full realization of desire for a world that pulsates in the materials of the elemental psyche, those substances that compose the stone and give it its enduring life, a realization that the world itself speaks through the desire in the materials; that desire is the language of the world, that the libido of each individual human is indeed a cosmic force, an eros or object libido which yearns toward and enjoys this world. And we who labor in the garden as if it were a stony ground would find our individual resurrection in attachment to our materials, which are the world's body, this body becoming a jardin des délices, the objectification of pleasure.
Object libido finds its pleasure in the other, the object, the world as a body. This dry term "object libido" calls for a moistened language. Terms such as cosmogonic eros, desire, jouissance, or unus mundus cannot do justice to what is implied. Libido brings with it the aura of pleasure and the Aphroditic world of the senses. Did not Plotinus attribute to Plato the idea that the soul is always an Aphrodite, which suggests that we cannot adequately speak of the libidinal soul without shifting immediately to an Aphroditic language? Then we would imagine that this libidinal drive throughout the whole opus of soul-making and its increasing love has as its goal a resurrection in beauty and pleasure, and we would realize that even such terms as opus and operatio are work-words which distort the libido's nature. The Christianization of alchemy nonetheless retains the Aphroditic vision in the images it presents. She is the Golden One, the pearl is her jewel; the rose, her flower; the bath and the copulations in the bath of the Rosarium, her liquid territory. The translation of sensate images into spiritual value, as if a lifting improvement to the higher realm of Aphrodite Urania, succeeds only in losing the very sensate attraction of the goal as a pleasurable pull toward beauty. Hence Ficino, Valla, and other Renaissance Platonists insisted that Voluptas is nearer to the life of the spirit than the middle region or mediocrity of ataraxic rationality. Voluptas, according to Apuleius, lies curled in the womb of Psyche and comes to birth only after all psychological effort is passed.
This is the Nekyia, the night sea journey through the underworld made also by Odysseus, Aeneas, and Hercules, and by Eurydice, Inanna, Persephone, Psyche, by Orpheus, by Christ. Whether this underworld is frigid and ghastly or burning with the hots of hell, it is a realm characterized by temperatures suitable only for demons, ghosts, heroes and heroines, goddesses and shades who are no longer altogether of the upper world. Outsiders. Marginals. Alchemy is a profession of marginals; those at the edge. Those who live from their own fires, sweating it out, self-sustaining their own temperatures which may be at variance with the collective climate.”
I rectify your error with urges of despair I watch your body disappear into the nighttime air I hear your shadow weep as your ailing body sleeps and I know that you can not know that I am watching over you protecting you from the truth. In constant state of madness you toss and turn and cry and my duty to defend you appears to be a lie. I crush the morning sun with the darkness of my heart one cannot be alone with the faint of heart. And now the sounding of the harp and then the final war and in the days to come we shall heed the whore and time will stand still and the rivers will run dry the moon shall hang limp weeping as we die for life was meant to end and the ending calls us near and so, my friend, that is why I have followed you here. You shall be the final act upon my silent stage and you shall thank the world for me, your brutal, honest sage.
I have absorbed you, your fate your unhate, and your skin into my within and I like it- love- could anything always be so grand? When the pull of hush grasps my hand your hand(some face)? Summer is creeping in feeling thin and, oh, my friend! What comes before? Tis only always nothing more than everything that craves the core(sponding catch?) Click like clack and tic like tac and toe dont know where nail is at- in the wrist- pinned up, fist to fist against the shift of tide where In I ride with silver horse, silver moon (silver dream comes too soon?) Crucified in a dream freedom from the lie freedom from the thief crowning unfaith into belief- concentrate(demons falling) need to see them calling crawling in on all fours- into my skin- (where only you are allowed in).
I am grateful and blessed and blissed beyond Measure to have come thru the Matrix of This Particular portal... This Womans Womb, the Waveform of Being entangled in Tidal Seeing rooted here in this Loom on the warp and weft of the pain and pleasure and the games and tricks as I play at Being mortal in Times intrepid Tomb.
It is not the first Dance but an endless Symphony of enfolded genes and hologenetic memory It is not a game of chance but an intentional theophany of unfolding schemes and peripatetic biocartography
I was given the invective Kun! Be! And compressed mySelf into a tiny LightSeed planted within a body that bleeds spirit enraptured and captured by the decree to waver between Doer and deed as the Verb of Me descended Down into Noun of Me embodied in Sound Heartbeat pulsing within Skin of Mothers Drum Echoes of rhythm and melody Willing Birth and spilling memory and MomentsOfMe into the fabric of spaceTime instantly
I crawled thru the walls of her Wonder following the Electro Magnetic storm of Lightening and Thunder that cleaves Egg and rends Asunder the Begging beginning Form of fertilized Feeling that clings to Mothers Walls Safe inside the Measured Space of MaMa Mater Matter Maat Matrice of Mind as Thoth Impregnates and BioLuminescent Grace awaits in Stasis the Amazing exit from the Gates of this Nexus that Enters Existence An.Noun.C.I.ng Me.
There is a cataract in my I As a matter of fact It’s a Matter of Why It’s a Mystery hidden in shattered Minds fractured Skulls manufactured EnMasse MKUltra Doldrums Programmed for the Trumpets Blast As Vying Vultures Dine on dying cultures In the Petri Glass
The Cloudy Retinas Stare back at me In disbelief Regurgitated memes Offer no relief To the crowds Who are gathered In Ether Nets Screaming loud As broken necks dangle From the Nous Of the tangled Hex
They stomp their feet And loudly proclaim It’s simply ‘climate change’ As the simple software In their simple Brains Cling to their masters Who programmmed the Game ‘Take my Vote take my Vote!!!’ As the holes are drilled In their leaky boats As their souls are filled With anecdotes As planned panic In demo(n a)cro(b)atic epidemics Offer up their scapegoats
Splintered psyches Will grasp at straws Every Alter Wanders Lost Within the Halls Of the HollowCost Seeded from the frequencies As Seamen spawns Artificial breeds No need to bleed In the new creed As Paradise is Lost And Paradox is Freed
Which way shall we go? Apoptosis or Necrosis? Pop-culture doses Of symbiosis Or sovereign exploration Of Live Gnosis? Menses-Mined Over-controlled GovernMen.t on Patrol Third eye Blind Dumbed-down souls Craving Slavery Tied to Polls…. Lies are Built LiFe.S deFiled On Wiped FiLes Of the Old..::: Can’t you See Currents……you See, No longer tied To Standards Of Gold… Currency dies As CurrentSeas Rise And blurry Me~s Close their Eyes…
We stand at the border of choice and chasm Are these painful platitudes simply spasms Uploading consciousness into the Drive The Masters' Disastrous Path to the Hive Current See is Redundancy as currents bleed Reality from the veins of the You and the Me Via manipulated mind maze gathering slaves Sustained SineWave notations digging Graves Neural intrepidation saturating the Film Biophotonic regurgitation of bionic Whims Intention is the Blood and flood of Becoming As HeartBeats Synchronic feats of drumming 5GoD Grids tuning the etherSpheres Directs Crystal dimensional sonic Tears Media(L) Mirrors torture terrified Players Nerves Firing Burning through layers To initiate the New level of the Game Output generated from Aeons of Shame Hysteria operating thru blasphemous blame While terrified CreatorGods forget their Name Human Beings Becoming shadowSelves Bodies forgetting wherefore they dwell Lose their Spin and Vacillate in vain Boundaries obliterated thru HiveMind Stain And here is the Time and here is the Now Are we Ready to nurse from the Sacred Cow? Absorbed in the Milky Way of Silky Space Into the womb of our Being and Seeing, or Will HiveMind homogenize the Sovereign Spirit?
Copyright Charleen Johnston 3-20-2020
(First word in each line makes a fractal of my rhyme )
I dare you to follow the Minotaur in the maze And waken from the cloudy haze Of disbelief You may not know Nor care How all this works But ‘they’ do And use it against You The only way out of the the maze Is to learn to steer Your own neural pathways And let go of the identity Of BioSyntheticSlaves I left a red thread you can untangle And start to see Matters from other Angles…. 👁🌟👇🃏👇🌟👁
"The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them." - Turkish proverb
If you know, you know…..that the forest can do all those things and more -that the Empty Shells have planned for their new New Temples. You Are the most advanced Technology In Existence. With Your Body, and the Interface of Mind, you actually have Access to all of Time & Space. But you do not ReMember Who You are. So you have been Tricked into using your Infinite Power to Create…..to build a world that is designed to keep you trapped in endless feedback loops of recursive programming…..how many layers deep will you Go?
The Crossroads:::::::
Carbon is Diamond. The Black Goddess Black Madonna in Her Rarefied Form. Thru the Process of Times Dance with Space and the Intense Compression that takes Place….She becomes The Diamond Body Virgin Mother….:::::: A pure and perfect Refraction of Life…::::: But they Are…:In Essence::::: the Same
The Silicon Vale of Tears reigning floods to divert the Sovereign organic Process Pressuring Life into Forms that deForm the Inner Temple ….. which Upgrade will You Choose? Diamond or silicon? No Matter Mother Maat Matrix can be destroyed but it can be trapped in an Endless Loop. How many layers Deep, Are You, In the Soup?
BlissNinja 