Crazy Little Girl

Crazy Little Girl


eyes cold as ice
a storm in another time
peering at the dreams
frozen in rhyme
Madness makes masters
of men who wake up
learning from the dreams
that free them from the muck

crazy little girl
crazy little girl
paranoid
hypnotized by the world
swept away
swept away
lost inside the void

A heart as warm as fire
burning- alone, alone
dreaming, flying higher
outside the lines she roams
wake up, wake up
see the inner skies
awaken your fragile heart
for freedom from their lies

Crazy little girl
crazy little girl
lost inside her world
freedom without
freedom within
wake up, little girl
let the world in.


4-21-2000

Where in this existence am I

Where in this existence am I?
Out wandering beneath the sapphire sky?
Crawling on my knees
digging in the dirty disease
of life
taking turns with god
in the neon light
of the turquoise dream
finding the ocean beneath the stream
my eyes bleeding from constant sight
unwavering in the dark of night.
Countless days I've spent in vain
bathing in the acid rain
peeling my skin from my brittle bones
plastered to the iron stones
of Life.
Where in this existence am I?
A diamond in the sunlit sky?
Casting my shadow across the barren ground
pretending to be a god
in the world that I have found?
Inside the embryo
I wallow in blood
awaiting the push of the eternal flood
into a life where feelings are stone
and bitterness of the unanswered quest
leaves me cold and alone.

5-4-2000

Who knows….

…Who knows
and who cares
anyway
(some might say)
because only God
knows the way-
hmmm...
I'm only a child
weak in the knees
self contaminated speck
on deck
for a new kinda ride
stuck inside the high
wondering whispering watching
the clouds roll by
talking quietly
to myself
pulling the appendages off
my body
one after another
until I am just an inch
tall....

December 2000

Blessed New..::..

🔥✨Every year I undertake to begin teaching myself something new, establishing a new intimacy with some beckoning beauty of experience through the somatic vessel …. The piano has been whispering to me lately to actually participate in its secrets… so will see what happens::::  

As for deeper intentions for the unfolding of Life in this grand adventure, amidst all the theatrical Stages of Times Dance with Space… I ask not for a life free of obstacles or challenges or pain or suffering and I ask not for protection or ease or even for any abundance that is not already a part of my own woven Destiny….:but I ask that I may have the Courage to face what is my own further initiations in this Play, the Wisdom to discern what Is and Is Not mine to carry or to create, the Honor to to witness my sons blossoming into manhood and all the joy and suffering that befall the journey into that unknown, and the Humility to always be aware of how deep in the black moist fertile soil of the Mothers Compost I am rooted, so that the Promethian spirit can continue to unfold wings through my Self as it Plays at Being a Me in this Dream. ✨🔥🪷🙌🪷🔥✨

In response to a post about ‘ADHD’

It’s called ‘ the nervous system is wired differently’ and likely compounded with trauma and suffocating in a ‘system’ designed to stifle. I like to use astrological terms, but whatever the words you use, there are absolutely differences in the way people process information and stimuli and hence how they experience daily life.

Aurobindo would consider it an evolving stage of the supramental body, astrology would call it

‘ heavy Mercury and Uranus aspects speeding up the electrical field along with Pluto creating hyper focus and mars stimulation seeking novelty and new sensory input. Whatever way you choose to speak about it, there are vast differences in how one experiences reality, and by medicating and stifling and pathologizing it, the ‘system’ is attempting to subdue an evolutionary imperative and divert its creative gifts. In every group, even in animals, some are born to maintain the status quo and keep the group stable and safe and maintinging boundaries, while a small

Amount exist to push those boundaries and use the innate curiosity and novelty seeking to engage differently and thus keep the group moving in bounds towards new developments.

And there are all shades in between. Without them all, any species or group would fail utterly.

Especially herd animals.

As a person whose neurological wiring is as described above, and who was and is incapable of existing within the parameters of

‘mainstream society’ in the typical fashion….I thank all the Daimons and sprites and generous souls who have helped me to carve out my own life in a functional way so l can use my gifts and thrive instead of flail. If it weren’t for the very stable and solid and calm friendships who are and have been my rocks thru the years l’d be in a very different place indeed. Blessed beyond measure. The price the individual who is sped up and operating in multidimensional thought waves constantly pays for that nervous system is dear, if one expects ‘peace’ or

‘calm’ from life. But nature knows what she is doing, in pairing the frenzied, manic, exuberant soul with those whom they can inspire and activate and excite and keep fresh, whilst at the same time giving that person those whose calm and gentle and stable presences can help to keep the world from spinning completely out of control. In my experience, the profoundness of being Seen Fully and yet Accepted Completely, has led to a complete re-birth after nervous breakdown and utter dysregulation for many years: what a blessing to see and appreciate all the diverse ways this Universe Plays with Being, Through Us.

Seeds of Joy

“Happiness is strange; it comes when you are not seeking it. When you are not making an effort to be happy, then unexpectedly, mysteriously, happiness is there, born of purity, of a loveliness of being.” 
― Jiddu Krishnamurti

🌹⭐️🌹 the biggest gift I could ever have given this reality , is the devotion to my own healing and awareness both before, during, and after becoming a portal for the deliverance of a Child Of the Heart into this fleshDream…. How can we help to heal this fractured schism of a world if we do not undertake the Great Work and then emit that Seed into the fertile Soul of a Soul who will carry on the blessings we bestow through our devotion to Integration?

I know the extent of how much of my own lineage of trauma and pain has been cleared thru my own participation in the dance of alchemy, by watching my son become a man…. By seeing how different he navigates and how few ‘holes’ he has to fill , and how ‘whole’ his mind and heart and body is; I am grateful beyond words that I dug so deep into the underworld, even if the only result were to be that my son did not have to spend most of his life undoing the patterns and poisons and dysfunctional inheritances we bear from our ancestral lines. We are the forebears, each and every one of us who choose to alchemise the vessel, of a different way of coCreating reality here in this Realm. It’s starts with Us, and with what and how we Birth our Fruits into this Womb, for we are a womb just as the Mother Matrix is a womb, and we can only produce seeds from the particular fruit we have grown.

We CanSeed this Dream Consciously

There are many ways to alter the design and help raise the veils to see the beauty of creation and the dance of selves at play; the absolute miracle of the process of gestating and birthing a new Being into this playground is so beyond scope , and is an absolute wonder to behold.

Have we forgotten what is at play when we participate in this adventure? Please don’t forget, find the magic and majesty in this engagement and watch the seeds become mighty oaks ❤️

UltraNewMK Vultures

⭐️i find it fascinating how each new baited toy
Is swallowed whole by girls n boys
And the UltraNewMK Vultures dine on Minds
As blind Shrines arise in response to the Ploy
“ why looky here chief Wiggum, man
The suspect had his manifesto on hand…
Golly gee you really don’t say?
Almost like it was drip-fed
straight into the heads
Of all the BlueLight Crazed Brains
that put Their Belief in these Patsy-stained
he said she said Games…..
“I’m Lovin It….”
As Trumpsters iMage fades from the Drivethru
And EasyColi rage trades places in the HiveStew
Of scripted bleedthroughs
as the stage fades
Into the background
And the red carpet unravels
At the Speed Of Hashtags Unwound….

👁️🤡👁️
12-10-24

( a mirrored image or an upside down version of 👇
………………………………………………
I~s are always watching,
reading the Scroll...
Ever seen the BlackMirror episode
'Hated in the Nation' ?
Hashtag Deathto and everyone played along
Believing themselves so morally superior
And so Liber(h)ated to cause Harm to those
Voted as worthy of being Removed
From the Hive
By the Drone Killer Bees....
But.... It..... Turned.... Out.....
That in the end
The Joke was on them
All of the Ones
Who Played Along
Hash tagging and bashing
And spewing hatred and venom
And PolarEyeZing like good little
Chess pieces
Pawns in the DisEase
Tucked neatly beneath the Wing
Of the Puppetmasters....
In the End.....
They were the Targets....
It was a psychological maneuver
to get the BlackHearted
Bullies who like to Pretend...
To expose themselves
To the ?eyes?s of the World
Exposing their Bitterness and Fear and
Projection and Vitriol
The hooked Bait on.Line
Spun like a Web of LiveStreams
And HiveDreams
'Im one of the crowd....I'm justified in my hatred
I'm justified in my Victimhood
The world owes me
I ought to be coddled and stroked
And because I'm afraid
I will hurl my poison at any
who stand on the other
Side
Of the
Line"
And it turns out
Both sides of the Line are just mirror Images
Lost to one another in the labyrinth
So disconnected
So traumatized
They traumatize others
The Black Mirror , the Obsidian Stone
The Tech.In.All.Of.We that pulls
The strings and watches the Emotional
Puppets Sing
. Go AHead and Draw your Line
Tiptoe and shout and scream from
Side to side
Of it
The ?eyes?s are AllWAys Watching
And at the center of the labyrinth ....
The only thing
you will be battling
is the force of your own Fear
and hatred and terror
Staring back at you
In a frightening Minotaur
of massive proportion
And you will recognize
When it's too late
⏳⚖That it is You⌛️⚖


Charleen Johnston
10-4-20

Embodied Wisdom

⭐️First off, the knees love to walk. They like to bend. Although they are a true hinge joint in that they bend and straighten, they prefer to be bent. In standing, one would think we should have our knees straight, like an open hinge, but our knees should be slightly bent at all times. In walking, although it appears to an untrained eye that our knees are straight during the heel strike (forward leg posi-tion), they are slightly bent at about fifteen degrees. In the mid-phase, where one leg is in full weight bearing, the knee is still bent. Knees are about continuously putting one foot in front of the other and once we have chosen a path, knees insist that we stay on it straight away. Knees don't side step the issue; they move us forward. In fact, we will "tweak" our knees when our feet go one way and the body goes another. It is similar in building character; when we say one thing and do another, we tweak our integrity. Our knees then, in the way they move, teach us a great lesson about integrity….}

{…Interestingly, the knee and the sacrum have spiritual connotations. Although the words "knee" and "know" both come from the Old English "cneo," they are thought to have etymologically evolved into two separate meanings, with "knee" taking on its meaning from "angle." Leonardo da Vinci theorized that the knee promoted religious thought, or what he called "knowledge of God." He noted in an autopsy that the sciatic nerve went the full length of the body, connecting us from the earth to heaven above.

The sciatic nerve, he ventured, was stimulated as it passed through the large, mobile knee joint and must account for why so many cultures kneel on their knees to pray. Leonardo's theory always elicited a slight snicker from modern, levelheaded scientists, sure that a nerve in the knee couldn't make you think about God. That is, until scientists tested nerve conduction in the brain with Functional MRI (MRI). Moving each joint, they measured brain activity and found that different joints lit up different areas of the brain. The knee, it turns out, heightened a very precise section of the tempo-parietal lobe, an area where we store religious and spiritual thoughts.

Some schizophrenics for instance, who have a heightened sense of religious ecstasy, or even believe they themselves are God, show constant stimulation in this portion of the brain.
Leonardo wasn't far off when he thought the knee brought knowledge of God-getting down on bended knee enhances the area of the brain that houses spiritual thoughts, and spiritual thoughts might be comforting enough to prompt man, throughout time, to kneel in prayer. It is an example of genetic makeup finding expression in behavior and behavior placing our genes in situations where they can be expressed.

In Greek mythology, the knee is linked with god-like powers. Chiron was half man, half horse who taught heroes medicine (Chiron means "hand healing touch"). He learned the secrets of medicine after having been shot in the knee with a poisonous arrow and while he could not be cured, he could not die and was granted immortality. Without his knee, he was unable to move on like other mortals and was granted some of the gifts of a God. Again, the knee is linked with the human occupation of moving forward.

Sacrum, the bone we sit on when we sit cross-legged on the ground, literally means "sacred bone" and reminds us to sit in connection with the earth and take in the sounds of the universe. In sitting on the ground, we might feel the vibrations of the earth, be part of the cosmology and be a part of the whole ecology of living. This sacred bone, the holy bone, reminds us to listen to all that is holy.”

~Joy Colango, Embodied Wisdom
“Deane Juhan in ‘Job's Body’, a must read for any bodywork practitioner, notes “bones can only go where muscles pull them, and muscles can only respond to conditions which prevail in the nervous system." 

How do we create healthy "conditions which prevail in the nervous system?"

We move. We expose the nervous system to varying stimulation from the senses. We walk and in walking, we see flowers we didn't know were blooming and grasses that insist on peeking up through asphalt. We hear birds and notice puddles. It is up to us to use our muscles in ways that enhance the alignment and spacing required for joint and bone integrity and in so doing, witness what is aligned and finding space on the earth.

John Napier in the Scientific American article, The Antiquity of Human Walking, notes "Human walking is a unique activity during which the body, step by step, teeters on the edge of a catastrophe....Man's bipedal mode of walking seems potentially catastrophic because only the rhythmic forward movement of first one leg and then the other keeps him from falling flat on his face."

He calls walking "flirting with falling," and it seems, the less walking we do, the more we flirt with falling flat on our faces. Stiff muscles become weak and we literally splint ourselves, the tissues hardening with waste materials. The fear of falling is heightened, and we are pushovers-afraid of losing status, fearful of falling flat on our face, falling apart, or falling down on the job.

The more energy we spend trying not to fall, the more energy we deplete that could be used for other activities. As we choose to be overburdened or out of balance, every muscle, joint, bone and cell will see life as a struggle.”

Joy Colango, pg.26, ‘Embodied Wisdom’

Untangle from the Nous

It’s time to go
Down
Inside
Within
Echos and grins
Of times
Long ago
Again

It’s time to pull
The threads
Loose
Untangle
Heads
From Nous
That dangles
Too close
To this

Tapestry

Wrapping me in silken
Cocoon
Memories
Like Maters Milk
Born from blood
In Tomb
Torn from
Moon
And Madness
And trapped
Floods
In veins
That ached to bloom
But instead
Lay dead
In ivory bed
Dreaming
Of
Red

Monsoon

Twisting tendrils
Of ancient
crimes
Broken chimes
That signal
Doom
As
Woken slumber
Fumbles
With moods

Folds number
And name
Into games
Of
Me~s
&
You~s

As Bodies lie bruised
Shaken from truth
As soul
Let’s loose
It’s claims
Of
Youth

Charleen Johnston
12-4-24