In the Dream, I and a group of people decide to take Ecstasy/MDMA and the result is an intense DreamRoll indistinguishable from Waking Conscious experience of same. Except that eventually the labrynth leads into a much stranger series of events......in which, as the effects of the drug begin to wear off, I became suddenly cautious of what I am doing, and feeling and know that it has the capacity to open doors that I may not want to open, at least not in this particular Dream. So I am with the Group in a pickup truck that is Speeding up a steep and curved mountain road.......but I jump from the back, not wanting to be carried along with the momentum of the group mind, and wary now of the imbibimg of Substances. As I wander in the dark forests along the road, I start to question my decision, but it seems too late , they are gone from sight and from earshot and the pickup truck is incapable of slowing or straying from its narrow road.
Scenery shifts and I am in a very large building, which seems to be some kind of childrens home/hospital/school......not quite sure what....I am with several others, one of whom I know very well in DReamtime but do not actually have a fleshCentered relationship. It seems to be 'business as usual' at first, but then we become aware that the zoo down the street has lost power, the Grid has shut down or faltered, or something has interfered with the locking/cage mechanisms.....we seem to know this palpably but intuitively at first, without actually seeing anything. A very intense presence, or ConglomerationOfPresences seems to be rolling towards us, as a thick dark primal ball of Energy that we can feel and sense, and whose primal nature makes us wary. Everyone in the room we are in, seems oblivious, except for me and my Friend....who after sensing this energy coming toward us, immediately climb the walls into a vent hole or something, trying to get as high off the ground as possible. At this point there is chaos below us as the people are running and trying to hide, fearful and yet totally unable to orient themselves enough to think and act in survival mode. Its all out panic. My friend and I can feel the fear below us, and we KNOW that we have to do something, because the people in the building have no innate sense of how to deal with this, whereas, for us, it seems that we are coming face to face with something we have seen and dealt with before, perhaps for aeons...... We can hear a snarl, a very loud vibrating resonating Tigers growl, we hear it before we see it, but we know that we must move, we must get out of the building, because being stuck in those walls, is going to be Death and Disaster. Just as the tiger becomes visible, we have manifested a tunnel that leads from the vent hole we have been hiding in....and out we scurry. Our Intent is to get out of the building, find some resources that can help us save the others, and return, hopefully to find that every living soul within the building is not completely ravaged. Thru a series of very ninja-esque maneuvers, with run-ins with many predators and angry animals, we eventually get out to a main hallway, and we know that we must close and lock every door behind us AS WE NAVIGATE, so that we can contain the beasts until we can deal with them appropriately. WE somehow know that the other people/children etc in the building are at least somewhat taken care of and safe, and our main focus is in leaving the building quickly. At this point, the building starts to turn into a series of peoples homes, all within one large contained space. There is one family in particular, who we come across, and who we warn. This family is the brother in law of a good friend of mine, and he has several children....We need to escape thru this particular house/room, and are trying to explain what is going on. One of this mans small boys speaks to us, and seems to understand what is happening. The father points up and says something about all the toy animals on strings hanging from the ceiling of the room....the father says that the boy wanted him to tie them up there, as a game, but that in doing so, the animals became suspended over the space in a protective manner, almost as if they were caretaking this particular child/family/space.....because of the intuitive Honoring this child had done for them(the animals). This all starts to add up into a picture of what is actually going on in Dream, and we lock the doors to the space and leave the father and his kids inside, knowing they are safe within those parameters at least.
The moment we get out of the building feels like we have left a giant enclosure of Uncertainty and Snarling Repressed Energies ready to devour....but not in a malicious way, more because they have been locked within the cages of the zoo for so long the only way to remember Who They Are is to act out ferociously their Nature, following the pendulum swing all the way to the left, as they regain their knowledge of Primal Self. We make our way to another large brick building, and by this time, we are concerned that no one will believe us or take us seriously....and will not give us the supplies we need in order to rescue the other people. This building feels almost like a CIA headquarters or some other insidious 'toward the top of the pyramid' establishment......everyone seems to be operating in a very suspicious and wary manner, with something to hide. We start to get the feeling that if we do not get out of THERE, we are REALLY in trouble, as the awareness that THIS ZOO of beasts is FAR MORE DANGEROUS than the now feral creatures stalking the city. We scavenge a few supplies and hurriedly make our way back toward the building we left.
by this time, we know that the animals have taken over, that they are not just running rampant eating everything and everyone in a feeding frenzy. They are very consciously orchestrating a scenario in which they take control of the establishment that has imprisoned them for so long. We sneak around, knowing that this is going to have to be a very Intentional battle, and at this point we are unsure as to whether we should not actually JOIN the creatures instead of fight against them. AT the bottom of the building where I would consider a basement to be, or the entrance to one, is a chimpanzee dressed in a generals outfit, standing guard....very placidly, but very intently. WE go around the other side. Every entrance is being guarded by some particular form of animal.. Then, I get separated from my Friend, and I am in a forest outside the building, and I hear the Snarl, I feel the Energy of Immense Power..........at this moment I regain lucidity and realize I am in Dreamtime ( I had known this in the first part of dream, but after jumping from truck and wandering the forest I lost Consciousness) and yet, I know that this Energy is nothing to mess around with, Its There and its Coming, regardless of whether I KNOW IT TO BE, or whether I AM UNCONSCIOUSLY FIGHTING THE AWARENESS OF IT....I cannot just erase it from my Psych, nor can I just stop the dream and change it....I am Focused Inside It in such a way that something very important is taking place in the nethers, and I know that to try and Awaken myself out of the Discomforting nature of the events/Dreamtime would actually stall or halt the process taking place. Even with the Awareness that this Huge Tiger cannot physically harm me, i.e knowing I am in Dreamtime, I am still wary of it....I see a huge tree, some of the limbs are unsteady but the trunk is large and being an excellent climber I have faith I can get up it in a timely manner, to at least keep the Tiger at bay for a while longer. I scurry up the tree. The tiger starts to climb the tree after me, and I feel as if I am coming face to face with Infinity. As the Tigers immense jaws open and a deafening roar envelops me, I stop resisting. I enter its throat and suddenly my body is gone, and I am pure sensation, and a highpitched tonal sound reverberates thru the darkness, in which I am now embodied, as particles, touching everything.
This is the swan song..... Demonacrobaticommunist beer pong twisted into misty fists of sovietLiberal newDawns In Daze of Knights in masks and disArmoured Rights and Lefts that rise enMasse to hail the new Pawns as they are swapped for Queens and Kings on the chessboard of Light and Dark flights of Fancy Rapt Attention as sewn Dissension begets new Dimensions of Red Imposition
Get into position My friends Let's say this simply so the useful idiots Can begin to rescind their terror Let's open leaden lids and wipe the mirror Clean, this dream is about to get more twisted Yet, Resistence just a false flag assistance from the Scripted Set and Setting as Debts are counted and regrets embedded in mounting Systems of Slavery
The flavor of this mess Order out of chaos as the agitators profess ....politik pointing to prolific policies of pathetic arrest of sovereignty as the blessed messengers confess their incompetency
This is the Swan Song I want to say it straight but my finger-tongue obfuscates and nameless shame penetrates reminiscences of the defenseless days of burning stakes and bludgeoned brains laid to Waste in bodies I've been alive inside in times like these in lives that bleed the broken neural codes that fold me back into Somatic Steeds that weave my Soul through dreams and Seams too numerous and bold to behold in scenes that flicker through golden Reels of Old.
This is the Swan Song Born once more to bore my way through this maze of Youth and Age in a new Play written on the script of the burning Page that smoulders with the smoke of Burning Sages On the stage of Time, trapped by my own Will to Feel the rage and Weild the Wage of War up my Spine.... Just trying to climb my way out... Rewind the fine twine of the cage of mind and threads that bind me to this climate of crime projected from inside the blind screen of shouting demons Acrobats of simulated semen priming the new aeon to line up.... One.... More.... Time..... As the Cycles Ride the Tide of this Massive Wave of mutating Mind..... in a sideways glance I watch as the Trance takes over.... The melody of mania dances through the crowds as the Swan Song Hovers...... frozen.....
She said “I am often astounded at seemingly intelligent people who are no more than marionettes to various programmed responses. “
You said : “hear hear!”
She said “Most likely you will think I’m referring to ‘all those other people’ and not you”
You said “oh dear, how weird.::”
She said “But whoever You are if you’re reading this It’s highly probable that you are guilty of shouting out toc tic software programmed right into your Hard drive I mean your mind”
You said “not I, not I, I am a completely autonomous free-thinking individual.::::”
She said “Because real estate is Inside the Self And if you believe these memetic catch phrase trigger-terrors that are colored either Red or blue And drip-fed into you You are a robot who can no longer remember that you lost Your sole Back there In the path Where your shoe Became too big for your foot. “
You said “ yes, yes! Damn world will Burn now that it’s been colored with Red Crayon”
She said “ …….repeat repeat repeat after me::: it’s utterly pointless to explain when the circumference Is wound too tight around one’s brain: point taken, right out from center. “
Each side feels entirely justified In their hatred It was planted inSide Each wide open I Thinks it sees what Lies Beneath The threshold of Belief ….thinks itself revolutionary A bastion of truth On this merry-go-round ….carnival set loose Within the fairy ring of Loud Mouths Proclaiming their own Bias To be so Sweetly Sound
Each Side swears this is the End Of Something But What Thing is It That is crumbling Now? Where is the finger pointed? Sharpened like pencils Scribbling within stenciled lines To draw the boundary Around their captured minds…::: Terror and fear, ( oh dear…. Hear we go again The pendulum swings and brings The opposite demons into the ring) That which one cannot Own Within Becomes the Face of the Beast That threatens to Swallow the World :::l i s t e n. U p. B o y s. N. G i r l s::: Untangle the threads in Your own bitter heads Defragment your own HeartDrive And own your own sins Because what you See Is What You Look With Clear the connection And strengthen the bandwidth So you don’t fall Prey To the illusions that ‘They’ Have woven into your brains.
“When you're out on the road and feelin' quite lost Consider the burden of fame And he who is wise will not criticize When other men fail at the game”
Take A Deep Breath Reel in your Ache The frightened Eyelids Believe they are awake But the heavy weight Of the masters of Fate Are spinning and spinning As the sleepers debate….
The strangest thing about living behind screens Are the I~s who believe They can hide their own seams But the constant toll Of the endless Scroll Makes it so easy for their Souls To be seen ….
So take a deep breathe And step into the center And reel in the hatred That breeds more terror.
I park my car along the road with a bunch of others, my family and many people whom I know and don’t know are getting together….. it’s a gathering, but a strange vibe, to do with political stuff. People are bringing food etc. and preparing, like a potluck. George Bush jr , Putin, and other heads of state and leaders of past and present are there: everyone else is walking on eggshells around them. There is A general murmur of uneasiness while waiting for the actual event to begin. I am playing with my phone and someone says I can’t be taking photos, which I wasn’t , but they are very all serious and paranoid, being in the company of all these famous leaders’. Most of the ‘leaders’ are dressed in full regalia, very ceremonial, but GW is in his jeans and shirt, good ole boy. There is some issue with toilet paper. As if it has been weaponized…..people are going back and forth, with various kinds of rolls etc? I’m being very loud and talkative and just my normal typical self, open and engaging, even to the Leaders, all of whom are sitting on a couch and in the room, which is just a normal kinda cramped house/apt. They are pretty much silent and just waiting, sitting still and unobtrusively. I keep getting shushed by people and told to reel it in…..they are all so worried about what the ‘Leaders’ will think of them, or whether they will be punished???
At one point the conversation is about a vaxxine that had been proven to be dangerous , but so much of it had been made/produced, that they were trying to figure out what to do with it…..how to dispose or deal with it. I walk over to GW Bush and say ‘I’d just do what George Bush Did, and send it over to a third world country to disseminate..:: I say this in Jest, and poking fun of them all and the System, but seemingly serious and right to GW who is sitting on the couch looking at me…..he grins. I say ‘I’m just playin’ then I tell him about the Doll thing Oisín has of him and he laughs and smiles and gets excited and I say “it’s the the one with the little leather jacket.” I say ‘whenever Oisín thinks I’m talking too much he just pushes the little button over and over and makes me hear your one liner Bush-isms instead’ . I find it funny and so does he( Oisín really does that in waking reality). Everyone else ( all the regular people) are shocked that I am speaking like that to him . Then my mom is trying to find pans or something down in a cabinet drawer which is stuffed and messy and disorganized and I say ‘ just pull it all out’ …..she says it will make a big mess. I get aggravated and say “sometimes you just gotta pop the zit…..pull all that shit out and get what you need and put it back in order”. I’m referring to many layers of what’s going on. My sister shows up with Blueberry pie? But it is more like a custard in its texture. I reflect on that because of a reference in waking life to blueberry pies and sisters, and chuckle . I take it to put on the table and kinda bump it when setting it down and it kinda rattles it and makes it not look perfect . I say ‘ah well whatever’ .
Am then outside ,Around the back of house/apt :building? And there are families sitting in the dark talking and hanging out sitting at lawn table etc all waiting for the ‘event/ceremony’ to begin. ( all the Leaders are there for some big ceremonial happening). I climb a spider web like rope thing that is hanging as a playground piece, and am playing around and when I slide down the little kid that was on a trike beside it is now under me ….she had moved and I land right on her head and we tumble. She’s ok though and I comfort her and sorta play -roll around.
We all walk back up in the dark and then back inside, and there is a black woman with a newborn baby…the baby is making funny faces as I am talking. I realize the baby, who kinda looks like an old wise person in tiny body, is famous from social media? To the lady, I say “Is that ‘grumpy baby’ …(something I had seen in instagram or somewhere). It is. She says the baby came out making that face , and I say she ( the baby) was thinking ‘holy shit, I am not ready for this place again’ joking.
By now a ‘leader’ from Ghana is there, a young tribal black woman ,kinda funky style, and pierced and tattooed ….she is the leader who has recently come into power, via family lineage? So this is all knew to her but she is very proud and Confident. There is also a younger swarthy maybe Indian/or middle eastern man who shows up….also pierced and kinda modern, but in full military regalia, head of some other country. Of course Putin is there. He seems very young and underwhelmed. But quiet. It’s all very serious but caricature-is …. I am Not impressed by any of them, nor am I scared or them like all the others….i know they are just marionettes on the chessboard and it is all very playful and light to me, so I am provoking them in jest and yet good nature. They are equally at ease with me.
There had been nowhere for people to sit because they were on the couch etc before, but now they are on floor sitting cross legged and the normal people are sitting on the couches: the vibe is starting to get a little more relaxed but also they are ‘playing subtle war games’ that feel like everyone is engaging each other and trying to assert silent agendas. I sit with the leaders and start joking and being gregarious and charming: I am still getting dirty looks from the ‘normals’ . The Ghana lady is asked a question and I see images from her life there and she is in tribal traditional clothes and she says that ‘her body is Her Body and that is who she is’ and I seem to know she had inherited the position and was not all stuffy and programmed in the same way as the other leaders.
Even the leaders though seem to want to break out of their roles, and they realize it’s all a facade.
I end up back at my car….which is parked up and along the road, which is a country road. i need to move it? It’s dark, something is going on with it: then We are all trying to go somewhere…. like out dancing? As a group? And I say ‘you mean we are all meant to ride together to ‘wherever’? Lnowing there is know way this large group of people can fit in one vehicle or likely even remain organized enough to all get to where we are planning to go. So people are splitting up , dividing into smaller groups to ride with each other etc. There are cliques starting to form. I am the only one who is interacting with the ‘leaders’ the others are still afraid too. .
🌜🌟Trapped Inside the Compound⭐️🌛 (Dreamtime 10-25-24)
Super Intense situation of being inside a very large building/compound…:,the external situation is such that people have become essentially trapped in a very controlled situation like slaves. The compound is so strongly guarded and militarized there is no way out, but there is a small group of people who are attempting to dismantle and escape, ideally so we can bring down the system of control from outside the confines; the group included me, C is there too, and I think a total of 5-7 of us? Familiar but not all In this lifetime. We know that soon the whole place will be impenetrable but for the moment we are able to roam around and so we have implemented 5? Escape mechanisms that are planned Into the compound. Such as ….one of the windows has been left with a hard subtle tool slipped in between to keep it slightly ajar so it could be opened once in lockdown. There is a zip line type thing leading out of it or another area so one could get out. There are various ways we have plotted as emergency routes. As i roam around I have several backpacks including my crossbody purse bag and my phone etc., with supplies. I am trying to fit in and play along with all the stuff , not draw attention; there are people everywhere, going about their business and working for the compound. Everyday people mostly. No one had attempted to escape in so Long I guess it’s not on their mind. C I believe had tried to get out …but the emergency route she tried failed? And it happened a few other time to others in our group, but I did Hear that one had gotten out via the zip line cable that stretched way out over the ocean/body of water surrounding the compound. And seems at least one more had gotten out. Time is running out and there is only one escape route left. There is a long spiral style ornate stairway like bronze or rustic metal, with letters and numbers like codes or puzzles on each step….facing out almost like heiroglyphics carved but they can be pushed down like a large ancient button. Stair is winding curves and steep. By now I’m getting a lot of attention because I’ve basically stopped trying to blend in and am clearly there for some other purpose. All Sorts of adeventires throughout the dream leading to this point, very long and vivid and filled with interactions. I have to get the correct code to have it open a small portal in the floor which is a tube down to another lower level. It’s the last option but it’s getting intense and I’m digging through my backpack and get my phone out to take photos of the code information that I will need in order to know which buttons to hit ( there is a typed out ‘key’ or ‘legend’ that goes with the codes on The stairs, but it is too far from the stairs to do both so it has to be memorized or in some way the information taken over to the stairway, but it is attached to something and not mobile)….I’m struggling with it because I am trying to remain somewhat ‘obscure’ still and yet openly manipulating the puzzle and clearly reading and learning the ‘key’ that is off to the side…..but am on my phone trying to get the camera to work and messing about and finally a young man comes over and i decide to chance it, and ask him about the code and if he knows it, he says he does, apparently all Of them do? All Of the people who work for and help run the compound ….all the living infrastructure of people: He seems to understand I’m gonna escape but doesn’t mind helping me. He hits the keys/buttons all in a specific order almost like a musical progression… and right as the authorities are stepping in and about to pounce on me after realizing what is happening, as the building alarm mechanism is starting to shut me in , the round spinning portal opens and I dive thru. I get sucked down to a basement type level where I have to open another round cover to get into the water that is everywhere, almost like being in a very flooded basement, except it is giant and built into the design….the water. It’s the only way out. The compound is in the ocean and it’s dark out and I know I have to swim out under the building and then make a beeline but I’m aware it’s going to be tough; there are two different floaties and one has colorful polka dots and is small and the other is more square and large and mustard color , I know I will need help staying afloat so am trying to paddle out under with the small one, while having packed my phone deep into my crossbody purse hoping it doesn’t get wet and ruined . I am Preoccupied with my cell phone not being destroyed….it has important information on it that is relevant to our mission.. I Finally get out into the water and know I will make it , as they cannot do an emergency shut-down of the compound now even though they know I’ve escaped. There is a big huge boat coming toward me and the compound and I don’t want to get hit but also know I have to hold my breath and swim under water down and out a ways so I can get past the edge without detection. I know the others who managed to escape are waiting for me and that we can then reconvene on the outside and get a plan to help come back and free people. Lots of roaming the building and smaller missions on the inside, during the dream.
🌹 “This time of year my thoughts always return to the rites of Kore. I might be coping with the world folding in on itself, and the similar changes I experience within my own inner world, or it may just be an inherent fascination with etiological myth, to say nothing of the powerful duality of delicate springtime maiden and Queen of the Underworld within one goddess.
Her more widely known name, Persephone, means “bringer of death,” in the sense that her deft but gentle hand is a comfort and a guide to those making their descent. In this way, and as the goddess of the Eleusinian mysteries, she herself is the door to worlds unknown, a portal to revelations. Among her other epithets in Homer and among cults (Euripides calls her arrētos, “she who none may name,” Homer calls her agauē and hagnē, “venerable” and “demanding respect”). Persephone is her name as mistress of the house of Hades. In these rites, she is often referred to as Kore, which means, simply, “maiden.” “
~Sara Long
🌹
Reese Miller as the Kore , (or Jester Maiden) before being Taken by hades to the Underworld to become his Jester Queen
The Kore archetype, traditionally representing youthful innocence and potential in mythology and psychology, symbolizes much more than just the early stages of life. It is a powerful symbol of transformation, growth, and the cyclical nature of existence. The Kore, as a maiden figure often associated with goddesses like Persephone in Greek mythology, also carries deeper meanings about the illusions tied to youth, time, and identity. By examining the symbolism of the Kore, we can explore the larger themes of human experience—innocence, growth, and the journey from one phase of life to another. ~ Jenna LillaThe Kore is often depicted as a young maiden, symbolizing the freshness and purity of youth. This stage of life is marked by innocence, untested potential, and an open future. In mythology, the Kore is often paired with the figure of the mother, as seen in the myth of Demeter and Persephone. Kore, in this case, represents Persephone in her youthful form before her descent into the underworld, where she transforms into the queen of the dead. This dual role of the Kore—both innocent maiden and future queen—symbolizes the unfolding of life from youth to maturity. While the Kore is a symbol of growth and transformation, this very cycle also highlights the transitory nature of life. Youth, while often idealized as a time of beauty, vitality, and potential, is fleeting. The attachment to youth and the fear of aging reflect deeper psychological and spiritual challenges. Just as the Kore will eventually transform, we, too, are called to move beyond the illusions of youth and embrace the full journey of life. ~Jenna LillaThe Kore’s association with youth also raises questions about how we perceive time and change. The concept of youth, as something idealized or feared, is tied to the larger illusion of time itself. We often become attached to the idea of youth as a period of innocence and purity, but this attachment can lead to a sense of loss as we grow older. The fear of aging, or the desire to remain forever young, is an illusion created by the mind, which clings to temporary states of being. ~Jenna LillaIn reality, the essence of life is timeless and not bound by the cycles of youth and age. The Kore archetype reminds us that while we pass through different stages of life, these stages are just phases in a larger continuum. The true nature of our being—our consciousness or essence—remains unchanged, even as our bodies age and our experiences shift. The Kore, therefore, symbolizes the movement through these stages, but also serves as a reminder that beneath these changing forms, there is something timeless and unchanging.~Jenna LillaOne of the central themes of the Kore archetype is the journey from innocence to wisdom. In many myths, this journey involves a descent into the unknown, a confrontation with darker, more challenging forces. In the case of Persephone, her abduction by Hades and subsequent time spent in the underworld represent the loss of innocence and the gaining of wisdom. This is not just a story about personal growth but about the necessary transitions that all individuals must undergo to attain greater understanding. In this context, the Kore symbolizes the tension between innocence and experience, youth and maturity. While youth is often seen as a time of unblemished potential, true wisdom comes through the trials and challenges of life. However, both innocence and wisdom are part of the same journey. The duality between these states—between youth and age, innocence and wisdom—reflects the deeper truth that growth and transformation are part of the natural order of life. ~Jenna LillaThe Kore archetype also speaks to the cyclical nature of life, where birth, growth, decay, and renewal are intertwined. In many cultures, the Kore is connected to the cycles of the seasons, particularly in the myth of Persephone, whose descent and return from the underworld are linked to the changing of the seasons. Her time in the underworld represents winter and death, while her return to the surface symbolizes spring and rebirth. This cyclical pattern serves as a reminder that life is not linear but is made up of repeated cycles of growth and transformation. The Kore’s journey from maidenhood to queenhood, from innocence to wisdom, is not a one-time event but part of a continuous process of renewal. Just as nature moves through its seasons, so too do we pass through different phases of life, each phase offering its own lessons and opportunities for growth. ~Jenna LillaWhile the Kore represents the cycles of life, she also invites us to transcend the illusions of duality that often accompany these cycles. The distinction between youth and age, innocence and experience, can create a sense of separation, making us believe that these stages of life are opposites. However, the Kore archetype teaches that these are not separate states but are interconnected parts of a whole. ~Jenna LillaIn the myth of Persephone, her role as both Kore (the maiden) and queen of the underworld shows that youth and maturity are two sides of the same coin. The cycle of life encompasses both light and dark, innocence and wisdom. By embracing both aspects of ourselves—the youthful, innocent part and the mature, wise part—we can move beyond the illusions of duality and experience a more integrated, whole sense of self. ~Jenna LillaUltimately, the Kore archetype symbolizes the potential for growth, transformation, and renewal. She represents the beginning of a journey, but also the deeper truth that all stages of life are interconnected. The youthful innocence of the Kore is not something to cling to, but something to honor as part of the larger process of becoming. Her story is one of continuous transformation, reminding us that life is a series of cycles that lead us toward greater understanding and wisdom. ~Jenna LillaBy reflecting on the Kore, we are reminded that the passage of time, the movement from youth to age, is not something to fear but something to embrace. Each phase of life brings its own gifts, and by accepting the flow of time, we can experience life more fully. The Kore symbolizes the beauty of this unfolding journey, encouraging us to embrace both the innocence of youth and the wisdom that comes with experience. Jenna Lilla
Pursuing for aeons I seem to know…. I try running down the road but go back, start to climb down the side of the rocks on the cliff side, figure I can crawl up under and hide….
Then i Let Go…
in Exhaustion ….
Existentially weary from lifetimes of running and hiding and trying to escape pursuit….
I turn and slowly walk back up the road,
straight into the Dark Man, who is on my trail.
This takes him Off Guard.
I calmly walk out into the road, it’s a highWay, I lay face down and Surrender.
He puts the Gun to my Head…. I can feel the cold barrel. But I am not afraid. I ReMember Now, how many times I’ve L e t. G o. d. i. s. s. o. l. v. e. d. into the other Side, left SeemingSelf behind.
It’s really not painful….
I smile….
I wonder where I will Wake Up Next.
He pulls the gun away and runs off for a moment, as if suddenly unsure what to do.
I don’t move.
I’ve already let go, surrendered, I’m Ready.
Take me.
He comes back, attempts in various ways to pull the trigger, to finish the job. Cars are coming. He is fretting. He wanders away again. Comes back.
I don’t move.
I feel a Sense of calm and Freedom I have known over and over again, and wonder why it takes so long Each time To just Let go.
I came thru the other side of that and learned that it’s not about Transcending but about Integrating. Spirit plays here for its own reasons, and is drawn to this Earth Flesh Playground because it wants to Feel Deeply and experience visceral Life. Being a very plutonic underworld person but aiming always for the spirit when I was in my 20s, it took a lot of delusional wake up experiences to Own all that I had believed myself to have transcended. All that stuff I thought I had evolved past, I had simply dissociated from, and the force of its wrath at being ignored and suppressed made its fury known in physical symptoms and deeply imbalanced emotional reality with a dash of incredibly Underworld-like navigations thrown in. The higher I thought I was flying in those years, the more pure i thought I was, came at a price and it was collected by the Dark Feminine in 2018. And since complete dissolution and and finally Truly making friends with the parts of the Self that I had trapped in deep subterranean caves and dungeons , with compassion, and awareness that it was a matter of freeing bit by bit, those fragments from all timelines trapped in my Prizm Cell.Ves. Instead of ‘Mind over Mattering’ my body and pushing it to extremes, instead of convincing myself I was pure and lofty and fully my idealized Spirit Self-the Puer( my online and business name even used to be Puella Eterna for 13 years)- i became engaged in the true Alchemical Work. I Realized how abusive I had been to Psyche and Body all those years ( and lifetimes) of denigrating the dark hungry fiery tempest of my soul, the Feminine, thinking I could Will Myself into the magical spheres of the heavenly abodes:.:::: I have always been easily carried away on the wings of spirit, can easily disembody into OBE states etc. What I came here to do, Now, was to actually Make This Body Fully Conscious , for it is the Marriage bed of Eros and Psyche, and the Alchemy of Life uses all vibrations to create.
When I made friends with the depth of my own Pain and Anger and Lust for Aliveness, Lust for Intensity of Being, and my own Arrogance etc ( Scorpio ascendent/Mercury conjunction, sun/Uranus Scorpio conjunction( all ruled by mars) and all in the 1st house( house of mars/Aries), with an Aries moon( mars ruled) and Mars aspecting strongly every planet in my chart = I was a complete Fool to imagine that I was a soft and ethereal spiritual angelic figure floating in the higher spheres…..:. I am a child of Mars, and Mars at its best is the Blood and Passion and Vitality to Exist and Move in this Realm, Mars is the defender and protecter of all that is sacred in creation, it is Raw, Brash, Authentic, Physically Vital, Mentally Agile, Temperamental….and Serves the Feminine……
When I truly came to Know Myself and stopped building castles in the sky, but used my archetypal Mercurial nature along with Mars to go to the Underworld and reclaim the very Selves I had locked up thru this Infinite Game over Time, I came Alive and learned what real Power is.
That’s my journey. I have compassion for that person I was and thought I was, but I have made my Vow, to Die in Battle, as a Sacred Warrior, and a Warrior must be in touch with his/her Fire and Anger and lust and Blood and sacrifice it on the alter of the Feminine Creation…..
( of interest is the relation of mars and Saturn… Mars/Blood is made in the Marrow of the bones/Saturn…… Mars is the Warrior who serves The Saturn Kingdom, which is the very energy that gives Form to the life principle:= in my chart, My mars is in Sagittarius/conjunct Neptune ( the spiritual warrior) in the second house( using the physical body/ it’s values and resources) And is Square( tension) (serving) Saturn in Libra which is also conjunct to almost a degree…… in the 11th house/ community and the larger stage of service to the people: It’s all written in Light Codes we wove ourselves into.
My heavy 12th house/ underworld where Pluto/hades sits exactly to the minute almost, with Venus, is my Lifelong lesson…..spiritualizing and completely transforming the Sexual and Aesthetic principles……using the raw lust and vitality of The black Goddess Black Carbon through Dionysus protean morphing Imaginal spheres under intense pressure to create the Diamond Body.:::: the twin Sisters of Carbon666 and Daimond ….. the Treasures hidden in this Earth and this Flesh and this Game of Matter Mater Mother Matrix Maat.
The Psyches realm is a dark realm that takes in everything….light and dark and everything in between. It likes the humus of earth, the compost, the shit of life, the messy smelly sweaty fleshy human realm of bodies bumping into bodies in sensate expression , playing with selves in Carnes Nation, the carnal nest of alchemy, where Soul is the Imaginal Playscape and Spirit must come Down To Earth to Play with Form.
I spent so much time out of body for the first 26 years of my life; I’m now happily Wed in the alchemical marriage bed knowing the Great Work goes on and on and on, and my relationship with Saturn has transformed my life into one of beauty: I used to balk at Saturn and his crusty old crystallization and constriction of my ever-so Icarus-like ideals……
But….
I am the Sacred Warrior who Serves the Divine…:.I serve the King and the Kingdom and Protect and Honor the Queen and her Queendom… because as the Mercurial Martian or the Martian Mercurius……..the Foolish Warrior or the Warrior Fool, my realm is not just the heavens but I travel between the Yooer and the Lower and The middle realms and so I just be able to hold the Tension of all Their Frequencies.
An honest person is one who knows his own capacity to Lie but chooses Truth…..a Strong person knows his own capacity for Violence but chooses Restraint….a Wise person is one who knows his own capacity for ignorance and knows he is a Fool…..a Peaceful person is one who knows his own Anger and so is not blindsided when least expecting it, and thus knows what it is to be Gentle.
May the black moist Fertile Soil keep your Roots nurtured as your branches reach for the Sky ⭐️🙌⭐️
Aho.
10-18-24
My friends post that my response is in reference to.
another way of saying what I expressed, is that as a Waving Being who Becomes Particular….in this journey of Embodiment through the entire Spectrum of Light and Frequency….. is that I am in the Prizm Cell of All my Lives in All Realities, in All Times and Spaces……expressing through this Body, Now, which is made up of All of Me~s, all the Cell.ves and Organ~I~zed Cohesions holographically …. In terms of Light… Infrared all The way thru UltraViolet….we also Embody as Sound and All variations of frequency.
Infrared penetrates all the way thru Earth and hence Body, ‘the smokeless fire’…..the realm of the Djinn….. that is where we have the Dark parts of ourCellves ….not Evil…..Darkness and of a different spectrum …..Ultraviolet more akin to our Angelic SidesOfSelf..,;;
When we seek the UV and demonize the Infrared, we get trapped in the Prizm of our own fragmentation…..we disown a huge amount of the deepest aspects of Being, whilst grasping for the Angelic Aspects: They have their Realms for a reason.:::::.
When I speak of going deep into the underworld, to mine the treasures of Pluto/Hades in the darkest layers of Self trapped and submerged and cast off in this infinite journey, I speak of going into the Infrared WaveForms of Self that are as much Me as the UV or higher vibration LightWaves that are of a very different nature, but equally Me.
Fire & Light
Is a poetic way of playing with it
In my lifetime of ‘out of Body’ experiences and traversing in the high frequency Light of detachment and lucidity, the permeations are very different than when I go deeply ‘in body experience’ which is raw and primal and Fiery and red heat of Feeling….
Our Bodies give us a Playground where we bring All Of these Refractions of Self into one Expression , as a Tether, if you will, to Come To Terms With Self Literally To Bring to Term Our Self Like a Mother carrying To term Her Baby
New creation.
The more we Integrate and ReClaim all the fractured frequencies that issue From our own Spark of Existence as a Being Who Is,
The more we Free those frequencies to Nourish all Of Bodies In all Of Times.
If the very Elementals/elements that make up my fleshly abode are brought into a cohesive net of Understanding and Loving Awareness, as they go on in their journey and become part of other bodies and abodes, they themselves are able to bring healing …
Like the Dwarves who live deep in earth and who are like elementals in a sense
And Elves who are like the perfected or angelic higher selves
And the HuMan, here in the Middle Earth,
Thigh we are all of them Depending on which Angle Of the Arc We Shine our I’s From
‘Voluptas lies curled in the womb of Psyche’….. Old painting of mine from 2009)
“The Poison is the cure”
Let me say it again: the result is not merely the objectification of subjective "me-ness," but the objectification of its material basis. This has been dissolved, calcined, tortured, putrefied, and distilled to a clarity that can be completely seen through, as if it were not there at all, not a speck of literalism remains, not even spiritual literalism. The libidinal compulsion, the organic towardness of hope and desire that would always go further for a faraway grail, turns around on itself and dissolves itself. The snake eats its own tail-another goal image of deconstructive subversion. The snake of healing, transformation, and rebirth, the goals most dearly desired, and the artifex's obedient service, all dry to dust, mineralized. The uroboric motion poisons (iosis) the very idea of cure. Or, poison is the cure.
What is actually accomplished by the alchemical work? According to my psychological fantasies, it is the objectification of the libido-our lives are not our lives. The alchemical goal is the realization in its complete sense of Freud's "object libido," The libido as a cosmic erotic dynamic that permeates the world because it loves the world of matter, even though it has been caught in the personal delusions of subjectivity, so that we believe we love the world, or can be improved or instructed to love the world. Whereas it is the object libido that loves the world through us, despite us. The anima in chains in the matter of "me, " and we place it there each time as we ask psychologically, what is the matter with me? Alchemy answers, saying: you, I, everyone, the world is matter, elemental material, and we indulge in the materials, as the artifex in the laboratory, all along believing that you are working on you, your life, your relations, your processes until the day dawns, aurora. You awaken within the idea of the goal, the goal not somewhere else out there calling for attainment, but you are within the idea. But because the mind is still trapped in me-ness, we shamelessly assert that the idea is in me when your mind is in the idea. You awaken to the recognition that you are already in that stone, mineralized, stoned out of your mind.
If my reading is on track and the telos or "that for the sake of which" is the de-subjectification of the object libido, then we are obliged to imagine resurrection from this vantage point, which hardly conforms with a Christian reading of either alchemy or resurrection. For now resurrection would indicate not the confirmation throughout eternity of the personal subject and its body saved from the world and the devil of its flesh but rather the resurrection of the body of the world with an idea to its eternity. Not the lifting, the Aufhebung, of material worldliness but the full realization of desire for a world that pulsates in the materials of the elemental psyche, those substances that compose the stone and give it its enduring life, a realization that the world itself speaks through the desire in the materials; that desire is the language of the world, that the libido of each individual human is indeed a cosmic force, an eros or object libido which yearns toward and enjoys this world. And we who labor in the garden as if it were a stony ground would find our individual resurrection in attachment to our materials, which are the world's body, this body becoming a jardin des délices, the objectification of pleasure.
Object libido finds its pleasure in the other, the object, the world as a body. This dry term "object libido" calls for a moistened language. Terms such as cosmogonic eros, desire, jouissance, or unus mundus cannot do justice to what is implied. Libido brings with it the aura of pleasure and the Aphroditic world of the senses. Did not Plotinus attribute to Plato the idea that the soul is always an Aphrodite, which suggests that we cannot adequately speak of the libidinal soul without shifting immediately to an Aphroditic language? Then we would imagine that this libidinal drive throughout the whole opus of soul-making and its increasing love has as its goal a resurrection in beauty and pleasure, and we would realize that even such terms as opus and operatio are work-words which distort the libido's nature. The Christianization of alchemy nonetheless retains the Aphroditic vision in the images it presents. She is the Golden One, the pearl is her jewel; the rose, her flower; the bath and the copulations in the bath of the Rosarium, her liquid territory. The translation of sensate images into spiritual value, as if a lifting improvement to the higher realm of Aphrodite Urania, succeeds only in losing the very sensate attraction of the goal as a pleasurable pull toward beauty. Hence Ficino, Valla, and other Renaissance Platonists insisted that Voluptas is nearer to the life of the spirit than the middle region or mediocrity of ataraxic rationality. Voluptas, according to Apuleius, lies curled in the womb of Psyche and comes to birth only after all psychological effort is passed.
BlissNinja 