essays – BlissNinja

What Shall You Do With This Moment

I  cannot answer questions for You....but I have found some answers for  Myself. i have not done this thru reading or believing anything at all,  or accepting any kind of doctrine. i have done this thru experiential  traveling and participation in planes beyond this one, realities on the  periphery of this one, ways of using consciousness that give one a sense  of 'knowing' that resonates not only thru the body mind and soul but  thru the fibers and appendages that connect us with each and with All.  For me, that is not an abstract thing. it is a palpable thing. And the  Meaning is, for Me, simply What I Am Doing At Any Moment. To live on  purpose, according to what someone else sees as your purpose, is not the  same thing as resonating moment to moment in ways that open your  consciousness and awareness to More of the All that is OutInandThru  T/Here.............and there may be a translation of energies into  'chemical impulses'......but that does not make the translatingEntity  i.e the ParticleAspectOfWaveSelf any less a Creator/CoCreator with the  LifePulse of Life.  You take a vibration and form it into a sound, and  then form the sound into complex words. one could say that our  communications are meaningless because in reality they are just a jumble  of SoundProcesses......and there is my point I suppose......that there  is an immense and unfathomable Matrix of Energy that we exist within and  Through.......to PLAY with those energies consciously, moment to  moment, and to expand the capacity to take into Self more and more of  those energies CONSCIOUSLY.......is for me, the 'purpose'..........we  have these unbelievably amazing TranslatorsOfBeing that we Work thru,  called Selves, and we get the opportunity to cast the OneSelf into  SoManySelves and Games that  for me, it is a treat and a beauty and a  fundamentally mysterious and blissful HONOR to participate in this.  Whatever It Is. You can only Know by going In or Thru..........and  then.....it is not about accepting a belief or a religion or a spiritual  path, it is about Vibrating at the Particular Pattern of Youness that  is Your Focus Now.......and if you do that....as far as I am concerned,  there is no Question about What You Shall Do With This Moment.

“It is when we act freely, for the sake of the action itself rather than for ulterior motives, that we learn to become more than what we were. When we choose a goal and invest ourselves in it to the limits of concentration, whatever we do will be enjoyable. And once we have tasted this joy, we will redouble our efforts to taste it again. This is the way the self grows.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

 
 Breath and Sexual Energy,
 when used with an awareness of the VAST 
 power and bliss contained within,  
 are tools that can propel one into the  
 Multiverse,
 When the Body is used as a crucible
 for the fiery elixir,  
 its true purpose and magnificence  
 become obvious;
 Do you Innerstand what a fabulous  
 electroMagnetic Generator you are Blessed  
 to inhabit and Infuse with?  
 Arouse yourself with crackling  
 Aliveness and Let Go into the  
 Great OneSelf....the power to  
 Create Worlds is Inherent within
 the multifaceted Layers of You <3<3<3
 Breathe.......&.......Smile

A truly embodied person is a fractal of Nature. We can open ourCellves up to vibrate in unison with Natures myriad wonders. The kind of ecstasy that comes from being in the Flow of nature and in the Present moment, open to the Magic and Awe of existence, is truly shattering to our limited small-self concepts. No external substances necessary to feel the Bliss of altered states when one reMembers how to use the Body and the Body of Earth.

My heart is so full of gratitude and Joy
For this sacred Play I call my Life
The Journey that sprays sunsRays over my face in this compressed vehicle of creative bliss…. This bodily form… The Cellves Within Me oscillate in such prayer and Thanks, to behold the Beauty of Nature that surrounds me, the generosity and support of the Hearts that Ground me in the HereNow of Utter Wow….. Today I am bursting with the powerful spirit of the Smile, dripping in golden streams from my humbled brow…. What sanctified Grace Embraces Me
….Thank You…..
For the opportunity to share Space in this Playground …
ARISE with me
Our Eyes will Be
A Rising See
Our I’s Between
Waves of Dream
Beckoning
New Ways to Free
The Web of Seams
That Play the We
InFinite Streams
That Bleed

Charleen Johnston12-26-19

 
   This year has been pretty intense, on many levels, and I celebrate the emergence from the chrysalis that I have been pupating in......ready to flap my little wings into the Ethers this year, and charge my spirit with the solar rays of Joy and Abundance, and with the luna rays of Insight and Imagination......this year will be a year of UtterlyPreposterousCreation......So much to focus on and bring into HuManifestation......So many patterns and past habits and ways of relating to Let Go Of, and So many New and Ruacously Rowdy ways of Loving My Fellow Bliss Ninjas to Explore and Expand. Time to tap into my huge reservoir of Energy and Power and rise to the challenge of transforming my self on a fundamental, cellular, Etheric level.....so that I can meet head on, the new cycle that is Implementing Itself into the Consensus Reality we call Life.......No time left for Crutches or Addictions, especially remnants of Negative Thinking and Ways of Relating that are not in Tune With the Vibration of Vibrancy that is seeking to Transform me into a Dakini of the Dancing Flames.....Ninja of Consciousness.....Bliss Bearer of the Bountiful Borderlands of Beauty...Shaman of the Shining Star of Sensual Serenade.....Punk Rebel of the Ridiculous and Absurd.... My Wish for All, is for each to Tap Into the Seed of Authenticity that is aching to burst thru the stubborn structures that have been created in order to KeepLifeOut, and to Claim your SacredWisdom and Honor the Self the Soul the Spirit the Sensual Birthright that can Open You to as much Abundance and Fulfillment as you can possibly hand. The Multiverse is Bursting and Begging you to accept the absolute Generosity Bestowed from Her Overflowing Bounty. Abandon Fear, and Accept Love. Dance to Become Yourself..........and Touch all you know and all you meet and all you love and all you see and all you wish to Become.....with Grace Joy Bliss Patience Beauty Absurdity and Forgiveness. You WILL be amazed at what comes when You Are Truly Alive and Living In the Present..........LIVE INTENSELY. FEEL EVERYTHING. ~S M I L E ~ AND ~ 
B R E A T H E~

“How we feel about ourselves, the joy we get from living, ultimately depend directly on how to the mind filters and interprets everyday experiences. Whether we are happy depends on inner harmony, not on the controls we are able to exert over the great forces of the universe. Certainly we should keep on learning how to master the external environment, because our physical survival may depend on it. But such mastery is not going to add one jot to how good we as individuals feel, or reduce the chaos of the world as we experience it. To do that we must learn to achieve mastery over consciousness itself.”
― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

The Sovereign States of Being

Beauty and compassion always rise from any darkness, and the Dark Glass indeed filters the internal Perceptor.
I liken this current dichotomy to the issue with Food... One has every right to consume toxic food that has been created with poison and harmful processes and products, however... One also has the right to NOT eat that food and to be more discerning and avoid forced consumption. If the Food on Offer is unlabeled and the ingredients unclear or falsified, those who do not understand how the Body works and how Food is created/ manipulated, or who have no history of experience with the Food Industry... Have no ability to make an informed decision on what they choose to consume.... Out of ignorance. The Engineering of that Food is a many step process that creates great harm in the Body, and yet the unaware person feeding on it doesn't understand, and keeps eating.
Then there are those who have taken a keen interest in the Body( and Mind et al) And it's healthy functioning, and the Process of Food growth,creation,manipulation , and distribution...... and hence have spent time and energy in understanding the effects and experimenting with their own Body and observing the effects at large. These people typically Refuse the mass food on offer and often feel the desire to offer perspective to others about what may be in the food they are eating, because they have compassion for the state of health of those they love and who make up
Their human family.
But regardless of intent, no one can make another person stop consuming toxic Food.
And herein lies the problem: if the Industry who propagates the food Not only refuses to make it clear exactly what they are manufacturing to the public, they are using devious means to sell their product, and taking advantage of simple ignorance. And clearly do not have the best interests of their Consumers in mind.
And if those who Refuse the food are then considered a Threat to the industry, or are ostracized for Understanding what lay hidden in the Ingredients of this 'food'... That becomes a real problem.
Eat Wisely, because the ability to see and think clearly and to operate the Body and mind with awareness is very much Affected by the nature of the Food consumed ....and Nourishment that Builds that body or , the tainted Food that destroys that body and makes the nervous system function in a stupor..... Helps to create very different Perceptors whose Dark Glasses of Reality mirror very different Mazes of manifestation.
We can only assimilate what we can digest. We Create ourCellves from that which we Eat. Narratives included. Now, get creative and Substitute Food for anything at all that enters the Portals of your Body, Which is a Sovereign State of Being, which include but are not limited to.....Your Eyes, your Ears, Your Nose, Your Skin, Your Bloodstream.........All of these portals are simply Input Receptors, Like headphone Jacks on your iPhone, or a USB on your computer. Anything that enters these portals becomes assimilated into your System, and has the potential to Hijack the Original Program. Discernment is Key.

This MetaPhor has been brought to you by the Jester Who Refuses to Consume What is On Offer

Charleen Johnston
3-25-20

Being Country Bred

Inspired by Mary Olivers poem ‘On being Country Bred’…

Being country bred, I am at ease in darkness;
like everything that thrives
in fields beyond the city’s keep, I own
five wooden senses, and a sixth like water.

These things I know
before they set their mark upon the earth:
chinook and snow,
mornings of frost in the well, of birth in the barns.

Sweet world,
think not to confuse me with poems or love beginning
without a sign or sound:
Here at the edge of rivers hung with ice
spring is still miles away, and yet I wake
throughout the dark, listen, and throb with all
her summoning explosions underground.

I have wondered often who I would be now, if I had not been Country Bred. There are so many things central to my self perception that grew up from my time being nurtured and cradled by the wilderness and the wild untouched forests I roamed as a child and young woman. There is something Raw and Immediate that hovers in the green lush world of trees and plants and animals and death and cycles and seasons. Never as a child did my grasping mind understand just how important all those unhurried hours under the blanket of the sky were to my soul, how nourishing those baths in the creek, the nights spent laying under the full moon with a song in my throat and a silvery cord of awe sprouting from my plexus. I learned the laws of life and death in every kitten that was born and in its playful scavenging life with never enough food, its timely or untimely death….its final rest in the woods beside the house….in the designated Pet Graveyard. Wooden sticks tied together with vines and twine into a lopsided cross to stand guard at the head of the grave. Night-swimming in the lake, laughter surfing on the waters ripple, hide and seek beneath the foggy cloak that hugs the waters face. Dock games of tag and sharks and minnows. Hanging wet clothing in the trees of the forest after swimming, to dry out for the next days swim….and changing into dry gear…..all so that it remains a secret that we spend these hours frolicking in the water and sun, too far from the house to be permitted alone without adult eyes. Such elaborate means of warding off the Questions of adults, the rules and the confines. Swinging from treetop to treetop in the pine forests that walk like soldiers behind the lakes edge…..testing the bodies strength and integrity in mid air…trusting….always trusting….that my steps are in line with the Universal Ebb. Knowing without doubt that I am cradled and held by something Mysterious yet Magical….and playing with that knowing like a small child enthralled with the shadows from the sun making music on the earth. I grew up Wild, untouched by mans laws and rules except on those brief forays into school or town, where the rules and laws of man were carefully and artfully discarded. I would climb to the top of huge oaks and sit embraced in the limbs writing poetry in my tattered notebooks…..draw pictures of birds and animals and strange twisting creatures…..sing songs to the world or the sun or the moon or whatever it was that fed me with inspiration on that particular day or night. I would twirl and spin beneath the stars till I became AllOfMe….like a Sufi, dancing my Soul into balance and knowing the voice of my destiny as it spins its tune out in rhymes only I could hear. The river. The second mother of my childhood. Refuge from the hot sun, the baking humidity of the Southern Summer. So much time spent, pretending to be a fish, or a mermaid, or some other mystical creature that dances to its own song, swims to its own beat. Picking berries and pricking fingers, spending hours in the garden eating fresh food from the vine, never knowing that one day I would trade almost anything for that same luxury. In those forests my love for Snakes and for Spiders blossomed. All things taboo, all things that most hide from or run from, I sought. I still seek. I have the Forest in my blood, in my veins, I have the canopy of stars and planets and sky spread over my skin as a sheath, I have the River in my soul, and the cycles and the seasons they continue to turn and to rise and to fall, and I am spread out with them, layered like leaves on an autumn ground……made tender by the soft humus of my individual journey. I asked to be broken open, to be played as an instrument, to be as raw and true and free and strong and pure as the beasts in the green forests, to be as receptive as the lake and as purposeful as the river, to be as passionate as the sun and as reflective as the moon. I have a hungry heart, that chooses to love and to break and to bleed and to bless others, I have a hungry mind that loves patterns and plays at patchworking ideas and language. I have a hungry body that craves flesh, hot touch, wet touch, rubbing nuzzling tussling tickling rolling playing crawling running swimming climbing smiling fucking….how I love this body that feels so much and gives so much and receives so much pleasure, and so much pain. I have a hungry soul that eats Joy, and stalks Life, any experience is worthy, every dance is sought, every lesson learned. There is nothing in this great playground that I scorn, it is all fodder for the spirit. I am Wild. Untamed. Unconventional. Authentically Ridiculous. Absurdly Brilliant. Lusciously Alive. Strangely Serene. Passionately playful. I love with my Body, my Mind, my Heart, and my Soul. This Dance is one of Wonder. I wander freely within it. I am country bred…..filled with the archetype of the Wild. And for this, I give thanks. I kiss the Earth, belly to the dirt, every nerve and vessel filled to bursting, with the sweet vibration of Carnality. I wake throughout the dark, listen, and throb with all her summoning explosions underground.

Woman

Woman. Fire. Sexuality. Writhing. Snakes. Burning. Fierce.

What is Woman? What should Woman be? Seems there are an infinity of answers, an unending barrage of ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’ attached to the archetype of Woman. There are thousands of books out there, and papers, articles, essays….all on what it means to be Woman, where the roots of Woman are, what the future of Woman will be. Woman in Relationship; Woman as Mother; Woman as Daughter; Woman as Newly liberated. All just archetypal relationships of energy. Points of light dancing on a blueprint. What does Woman FEEL like? What does it FEEL like to Be Woman? When I stretch my body and feel the nerves awaken, the muscles loosen, the blood flowing, I feel the Primal Womanity spread thru my being, touching everything within and around me with a fire that can be too intense to name, too generalized to capture, too strong to ignore. When I run, footstep by footstep upon the Earth or upon the dark armor of pavement that strangles the Earth….I pound out the rhythm of my strength…my endurance…my desire. I am in balance, carried by the amazing strength and intent of my legs….those pillars that exist to connect me with physicality in a way that is dynamic and delightful. With every inhale I accept into me the Breathing of Gaia and of all who have borrowed oxygen from Her since the first moment of carnal experience. With every exhale I give back that which is not mine, but which has filled me with the potential to Feel and to Move and to Think and to Smile. This dance of breath, over time, brings a calm, fluid expanse of blue to my bones, to my blood, and to my aura……the Woman I Am Playing at Being is quickening her pace, soaring with the wind of thought and mind and communication….but on a level that is unspoken, indirect, unperturbed,content with indistinct flow. When I make masters of my hands and set them to the task of patchworking a multitude of found and loved and used and old and outworn objects and fabrics and things together into new personalities, new beings, new symbols of the creative spirit……I worship the Woman of my soul….I allow her to speak thru me in ways that are unique and true, fun and playful, wise and foolish both. With every stitch I set an intention to Love. With every seam I am becoming aware of my relationship to Each and to All. With every color I make a statement of what I see in the moment, how I feel in this particular flash of eternity.

When I draw, She draws thru me….she moves the contour of my pen like she moves the contour of my world……making space where there is none, opening doors where stagnation has set. When I laugh, it is Woman who cackles…..deep belly laughter coming from someplace ancient, yet futuristic, yet HereNow….Present…….a laughter that has no fear, no self consciousness, no agenda, no apologies. I like laughter that is unrestrained, inappropriate, uncouth, taboo, deep and wide, harsh and shrieking, anything that comes from that endless well within which the madwoman gathers her nourishment. When I smile, I am a doorway for Woman. I am a light that shines, makes it ok to OpenWide…..to be filled with Joy. When I smile, I am giving to you. I am telling you…..Woman is Here…..Naked and Alive…..please come in! When I cook I am transforming energies….an alchemy of fire and taste and sacrifice and honor. I am Woman feeding the World from her Body. When I dance I am Her…..I move like tendrils, like serpents in the agony of ecstasy. I dance to Become Myself. To Become Woman That I AM. I am in a different state….an alternative mode of being……the whispers within me become a chant and my body moves….purposeful but without agenda, intense but without direction. Fluid but contained. Passionate yet serene. I am a Muscle of Bliss……swaying to the rhythm of the blood that carves its path out in the rivers of my Body.

When I make love, I am Woman. Feverish. Fire. Wet Pulsating mass of wide open nerves and cells and points of light and waves of bliss. I am Here. Fully. But also There. Inside the Mouth of Woman. I am channel. I am no longer personal. I am Priestess. The Flame guides me, sings me……my Body. Woman. Conduit. Portal. Woman. Burning. Crying out. Articulating. Gesticulating. Giving. Worshipping. Body. of Man. of Woman. of Infinity. I will take you in…you are amorphous mass dissolving in my cauldron of heat….of vibrating muscle memory, of oscillating frequencies of Bliss and Pleasure. The Tantrika. The Initiator. Come in and Play. With Woman. When I fuck, I am goddess. I am demon. I am of the underworld. Of heaven. I am paradox. I am terribly frightening in my devotion. Terrifying in my strength. Beautiful in my Body. Inhabited. In touch….with every corpuscle and every hair….I am moving. Moving. Woman. Trembling. Woman. Touching. Woman. Caressing. Woman. I honor the body of Man. I honor the body of Woman. I honor the body of Earth. I honor the body of Form and the unbody of formlessness. I drink you. I eat you. I melt you with the heat of a billion suns and let your Self be re-formed and cooled in the satiating waters of reflection and assimilation. When I invite you in, I tantalize; every sense is used and every limb is a tool of touch and taste. Woman. Feeling the fire rise…….lead by the breath…systematic patterns….coaxing particular passions and pleasures……depends on the rhythm…..everything Connected….Give in…LET GO…..LET GO…..BE WOMAN…..LET GO….Surrender to your Primal Raw Wild Abandon. No apologies. No shame. No limits. No guilt. No control. No agenda. Be. Beautiful. HumanButNotHuman. Dark Dakini calls you down. I am Her. Inhabit yourself. Inhabit Woman. Draw Her down into your sacred skin and bones. Maker Her Alive. Live on the edge of Her. Every touch errogenous. Every murmur a blessing. Every scream a sonnet. Every Orgasm a Prayer. A Prayer. A prayer. Every climax a Chant. That is your moment. That Moment. Is. WOMAN. Release. Woman. at Ease. Woman. in that Moment of Woman, the Universe is Womb. What you hold in your mind, in your heart, in your body, in your soul, at that very Moment of Climax, of Womanness, you send out into the Ethers…..it will be enlarged and given substance, and made dense……..and be of your World. Focus those energies of Woman. Let them be centered in Love and Joy and Respect and Harmony and Acceptance and Tolerance. That moment, and the dance that becomes It, are….for me….what Woman means. A woman with no connection to Body, to Heart, to Passion, to Sexuality, to Fire, to Sweat, to Absurdity, to Primal Wild Raw Energy and Excitement…..is……not Woman. Woman exists in man too. Woman is palpable, tangible yet diffuse…..erotic in every aspect of Life…….tinges the world with a golden aura of enthusiasm, exertion and incredible connections with Source and FragmentsOfSource.

I choose to Burn in the Flames. I choose to Feel the Pain. I choose to writhe in agony and in ecstasy, as the moment dictates. I would not trade my tenderness or my strength, I would not trade my lows and my darkness and my underworld soul for a life of flatline emotion, or unmoved calm.

I feel it all I feel it all. I am Woman. I heed the call.