Ive been waiting for this day, and this time, to begin this process of birth……been holding out for the ritual moment. And here I am…..Exactly to the minute of the official birth time 18 years ago today, of my one and only child in this reality. My son turns 18 ……RIGHT NOW. I live my life in the borderland of the Imaginal Realm, and arrange important things in such a way that I honor the Kairos of Life. Ive been on a quickening descent over the past year, at least, preparing for the major milestone of Uranus opposition, in my case the Sun is exactly conjunct natal Uranus, so this huge transit will be powerful on many levels. Other major transits all lining up at this time to make the whole next 18 months a dance on the edge of sanity.
My son turns 18, officially an adult in this game now. Almost an entire nodal cycle since he came thru my watery womb into his own notion of Self. I became a Mother in that same moment, bearing the beauty and the burden of Other, in such an intense manner. So now, as he spiritually accepts the mantle of responsibility for his own life and sovereignty, I also Birth My Self……..into a new reality. I will always be Mother, but as of this moment, internally, the Spiritual Birth Canal opens…..and I ceremonially swim through with a vow of sovereignty and Intent to transform myself into the next stage of my evolution.
Something that has been pursuing me for years, has caught up, and holding me hostage. Something that I made a contract to complete in the space between lives, where patterns and matter play with possibility. Ive been hunted and can no longer evade this undertaking. Writing has always been my deepest love. And my deepest need…..to express…..to articulate in the magic of language, the powerful spaces my spirit dances in. At heart I am a storyteller. And I have lived a life on the edge of the chasm, never fully part of this world. At 43, as the Kundalini Serpent stirs once again, I feel my Mind and Personality turning to mush as the Cocoon forms itself around me, creating space for transfiguration. My greatest blessing has been the opportunity to face all of my life cycles consciously, always perched upon the precipice of paradox. From this moment forward, I make the deep commitment to start writing out my life stories thus far, this quantum astropsychography. So many things to say and to capture, part of the reason it has taken so long. Or perhaps its just divine timing, and this project will be what carries me thru the event of this sacred birth of Self into the world. Letting go of distractions, Surrendering to the task at hand.
The Madwomans Whisper has been taunting me for many years, pulling me toward spaces that threaten to consume me entirely, but I know that it is the voice of my Daimon, who cares not for my human frailties and failures, but drags me incessantly toward greater creativity and embodiment, regardless of the strain on my physical vessel. I have felt more and more that I am going to implode completely, if I do not start tearing the scabs from my wounds and weaving the words as a magic talisman to take me through the portal. My natal blueprint, its all there. The trickster who straddles the boundary of the mortal and immortal worlds. The Divine undertaking, to so fully strip myself bare in front of the world that there is nothing left under this skin that has not been exposed to the light. The Gulags, my psychic landscape that holds fractal selves hostage, deep within the knots of timeSpace that demand a prism break. I know now how to release them, how to deFragment, how to Come To Terms with Self. Ive carried these seeds for lifetimes. It is Time, Now, to plant them into the Soil of the Souls SalveAtIon.
Charleen Johnston
1-29-2024
BlissNinja 