Love is Free~Life is Play
we are all here
Coming To Terms With Self
Literally
Carrying the Germ.In.All Self
To term
A New Birth
Gestation
…Jesters Jestating in Rotation
Around the wheel
Spoke in Was and When
Began to Feel
Now and Then
We Breathe
Again
Umbilical kin
Syncing in
The frequent.Seas
That split the skin
12-12-25
Time Sculpts Space
Into Tender soft Penis
Warm Tired Worm
Tenderized
As a an Old Self
Returns to innocence
prepares to receive new blood
in new wombs
as newborn babes
with new soft worm,
Warm
germ in all beings
Til Shakti dances circles
‘Round Shivas slumber
Forcing Him to reMember
And
the rising fu(h)ror
Of Hard stone phallic pillar
of eager thrust
into a new dawn of being
Awakens
Full of Rapture
And forces into full
Stature
a Seeding Self
Aching to Penetrate
The Mysteries
Of
The Primal Dark
Her Who Holds the Stark Contrast
Of His Force
In the soft walls
Of Her Form
CLJ 3-10-25
One more project that at some point will come to fruition. Started many years ago. A collage journey thru every single pregnancy dream from my entire gestation period with oisin. Almost every single night there is at least one dream and sometimes a handful. An entire subconscious multidimensional record of my Psyches Hourney through vast restructuring and opening and wonder and transformation.
Now that I have archived almost thru the year 2015 of dream journals into my computer, and should soon be completed with that enormous project, it will be much easier to arrange and print text. The journal entries from April 2005-February 2006 are immense and have a flavor entirely their own: including dreams of a ‘little blonde boy’ who turned out to be my son 🙂
🫀19 years ago, a full Nodal Cycle, I was heavily pregnant with my son.:::.and 9 days from giving birth::::::::: i am still in awe of the magic and miracle that is human gestation( any gestation really) and birth. I wrote the following three years ago… about becoming a mother to my son🫀
—————////////————-///////—————//////————
🌟16 years ago I opened the Vesica so my Golden SonShine could spray his Radiance into this Reality.
I was told by so many people that I was Crazy…. For
Having an unassisted Pregnancy without a single doctor visit or test or invasion of my temple…for Birthing him at home, into my own hands, without outside interference by by anyone…..For not cutting his Umbilical cord and instead allowing it to detach in its own as he gently transitioned from one dimensional Space to another….for keeping him skin to skin contact constantly for the first week, and almost constantly til he could maneuver away on his own….for wearing him in slings snd on my back constantly til he walked at almost 10 months snd chose to run and explore….for never using diapers and instead learning his signals and pottying him…for Breasfeeding him til he turned 5, and never once giving him a bottle or pacifier or artificial external soothing substitutes…for sleeping with him for many years, and making sure his Bonding was secure and filled with love and support…never leaving him alone to cry as a baby…and especially called crazy and irresponsible for him never having been to a single doctor visit or test, nor allowed a single
Va$$ination or other invasion of his temple.
Everyone makes the choices they are comfortable with, and these were choices I was willing to defend with my life. When you defy everyone around you and in the face of societal and family programming, claim full Responsibility for your Gestation and Birth process and the consequences thereof, and choose to be a Testament to Sovereignty on all levels of your Being, you will receive all kinds of projections from the masses and from those who are so afraid of their own Power that they will silently hope for your downfall for the very act of standing against a System of Disempowerment.
It’s never easy to spend your life learning, and taking responsibility for your own Health and the health of your child. It takes courage and focus, and Trust in a level of being that will test every bit of you along the way. It’s not for the faint of heart. I’m not judging anyone who doesn’t make the same choices I made.
But I still stand by my own decisions, and I have a 16 year old blossoming Man, who has made it til now with not a single doctor visit ( minus a required Physical to enter high school)or allopathic intervention, or injection….he’s incredibly intelligent and quick minded, extremely robust physically, and very much his own person, with little care for impressing the crowd. I am grateful beyond measure.
I have made many hard decisions in my life, and more than once left behind everything I care about, in order to do what I felt was the right thing for the larger picture and others involved. Some may judge those decisions also, over the past several decades, harshly. The one thing I can stand by, is that every single choice I have ever made…I take full responsibility for. And there’s not a single person other than myself in all these years thst I blame for anything. Birthing my son in the way I did, and raising him against the tide of social norms and msss programming, was an Initiation of the highest order, and In the current climate of Medical Tyranny, and Invasion of Individual Will , and Rape of the Human Body and Mind with Injections and forced Penetration and Programs and surrender of Soul to a Machine that is little understood by those who have lived their entire life giving over the responsibility for their Lives and Health to something outside of them…. I Renew my Vow of Sovereignty…
And will undergo whatever further initiations that are calling me, with absolute surrender to my own Individual Path and Acceptance of Responsibility.
While allowing others to do whatever it is that they feel called to do, without interference by me.
May all beings find their Empowerment and reClaim their Divine Will and ReMember that Body is something so miraculously magical…. The more one lives in harmony snd devotion to their own physical body, the more they will live in alignment and devotion to the body of Earth…. And the less Fear of the greater Reality.
Blissed Be. Happy Birthday to my Starchild , and also to the Mother I became on this day 16 years ago.(((((🌟)))))) ~(((((((1-20-2022)))))
“Happiness is strange; it comes when you are not seeking it. When you are not making an effort to be happy, then unexpectedly, mysteriously, happiness is there, born of purity, of a loveliness of being.”
― Jiddu Krishnamurti
🌹⭐️🌹 the biggest gift I could ever have given this reality , is the devotion to my own healing and awareness both before, during, and after becoming a portal for the deliverance of a Child Of the Heart into this fleshDream…. How can we help to heal this fractured schism of a world if we do not undertake the Great Work and then emit that Seed into the fertile Soul of a Soul who will carry on the blessings we bestow through our devotion to Integration?
I know the extent of how much of my own lineage of trauma and pain has been cleared thru my own participation in the dance of alchemy, by watching my son become a man…. By seeing how different he navigates and how few ‘holes’ he has to fill , and how ‘whole’ his mind and heart and body is; I am grateful beyond words that I dug so deep into the underworld, even if the only result were to be that my son did not have to spend most of his life undoing the patterns and poisons and dysfunctional inheritances we bear from our ancestral lines. We are the forebears, each and every one of us who choose to alchemise the vessel, of a different way of coCreating reality here in this Realm. It’s starts with Us, and with what and how we Birth our Fruits into this Womb, for we are a womb just as the Mother Matrix is a womb, and we can only produce seeds from the particular fruit we have grown.
We CanSeed this Dream Consciously
There are many ways to alter the design and help raise the veils to see the beauty of creation and the dance of selves at play; the absolute miracle of the process of gestating and birthing a new Being into this playground is so beyond scope , and is an absolute wonder to behold.
Have we forgotten what is at play when we participate in this adventure? Please don’t forget, find the magic and majesty in this engagement and watch the seeds become mighty oaks ❤️
(Birthing Snake)
I am in a bedroom somewhere and I can feel my belly wriggling around very actively. IT is different and I think ‘this is it, baby is coming’. Then a small snake is born and crawls from my vagina and out the bottom of my shorts to the floor! I am in awe, and find it strange at first but then I try to catch it and it crawls under the bed. When I look under the bed to see it, I has changed into a cloth snake, made of white fabric, and it seems to have a bit of patchwork and is sewn with thread and the eyes are sewn on etc. But it is moving around like normal. Then I grab it and look at it closely trying to figure out what it means. Next thing I know, it is a robot, with metal wires, and what seems to be microchips on it, all pieced together but a bit crudely. I think to myself that ‘Mother” has been experimenting again?!
(Dreamtime 11-10-2005)
The twitch of Dreamtime
As stitched open eyes
Find Time
To cope with Spaces deep inside
I am full with Child
Ripe with fruit
Nerves on fire
With the desire
To open the womb
And carry thru
This seed of truth
Where and when and how
Did the germination
Take place?
I can’t seem to remember
The breath of
Grace
That spoke to me
That broke the hymen
And woke the seed
My belly is swollen
And round
The active fractal
Of self
within
The shroud
Tumbles around with forceful
Kicks
As I wander thru psyches
Maze of bricks
Trying to be found
It is Time
In this Space
Just like
in waking life
So many moons ago
A nodal cycles synodic flow
Sudden fear
For just a moment
Can I open wide enough
To deliver the Numen
Can I bear the terror
Of this movement
As the veil tears
And bares
The burden
Of Being
Human?
Do I push It thru
Or does It
Split me
In Two
Into New Moons
And Minds
As Daimons ride
The wave with me…
Cry out in pain with me…
Wade thru stains
Of bloody chains
That break when the waters
Pour out of me ?
Breathe
Let go
It’s so Real
I Feel
It burst thru
Huge
Alive
Wide eyed
And thriving
Outside
Of Me
My Goddess….!
….The Beauty
The Wonder the Wisdom
Of Womans Body
Alethias forgotten
Melody
My God…..!
….My God
Thou hast christened me
Theos unLoosed
From crystalline
Seams.
Now to nurture
At the breast
Turn blood to milk
Like water to wine
As I climb inside
The feathered nest
Of the divine
I remember
Then
The Name of him
From which
This body
Born from me
Was given the spark
From electric seed
Full exposure
Nowhere to hide
The sight of the light
And the scope of the size
Of this daimon in dream
This daimon in me
This playful parade
Of uncertainty
Birthing me
From within
A mirror of matters magical
Twins
As Mater and Pater
Outside and In
join
At the hip
And dance and spin
Deliciously tangled
In SineWave
Grins.
The Stitch of Dreamtime
As twitching I~s
Rewind Time
In Spaces opened from Inside..
Charleen Johnston
7-26-2024
(Based in last nights vivid dream of pregnancy and giving birth)
Ive been waiting for this day, and this time, to begin this process of birth……been holding out for the ritual moment. And here I am…..Exactly to the minute of the official birth time 18 years ago today, of my one and only child in this reality. My son turns 18 ……RIGHT NOW. I live my life in the borderland of the Imaginal Realm, and arrange important things in such a way that I honor the Kairos of Life. Ive been on a quickening descent over the past year, at least, preparing for the major milestone of Uranus opposition, in my case the Sun is exactly conjunct natal Uranus, so this huge transit will be powerful on many levels. Other major transits all lining up at this time to make the whole next 18 months a dance on the edge of sanity.
My son turns 18, officially an adult in this game now. Almost an entire nodal cycle since he came thru my watery womb into his own notion of Self. I became a Mother in that same moment, bearing the beauty and the burden of Other, in such an intense manner. So now, as he spiritually accepts the mantle of responsibility for his own life and sovereignty, I also Birth My Self……..into a new reality. I will always be Mother, but as of this moment, internally, the Spiritual Birth Canal opens…..and I ceremonially swim through with a vow of sovereignty and Intent to transform myself into the next stage of my evolution.
Something that has been pursuing me for years, has caught up, and holding me hostage. Something that I made a contract to complete in the space between lives, where patterns and matter play with possibility. Ive been hunted and can no longer evade this undertaking. Writing has always been my deepest love. And my deepest need…..to express…..to articulate in the magic of language, the powerful spaces my spirit dances in. At heart I am a storyteller. And I have lived a life on the edge of the chasm, never fully part of this world. At 43, as the Kundalini Serpent stirs once again, I feel my Mind and Personality turning to mush as the Cocoon forms itself around me, creating space for transfiguration. My greatest blessing has been the opportunity to face all of my life cycles consciously, always perched upon the precipice of paradox. From this moment forward, I make the deep commitment to start writing out my life stories thus far, this quantum astropsychography. So many things to say and to capture, part of the reason it has taken so long. Or perhaps its just divine timing, and this project will be what carries me thru the event of this sacred birth of Self into the world. Letting go of distractions, Surrendering to the task at hand.
The Madwomans Whisper has been taunting me for many years, pulling me toward spaces that threaten to consume me entirely, but I know that it is the voice of my Daimon, who cares not for my human frailties and failures, but drags me incessantly toward greater creativity and embodiment, regardless of the strain on my physical vessel. I have felt more and more that I am going to implode completely, if I do not start tearing the scabs from my wounds and weaving the words as a magic talisman to take me through the portal. My natal blueprint, its all there. The trickster who straddles the boundary of the mortal and immortal worlds. The Divine undertaking, to so fully strip myself bare in front of the world that there is nothing left under this skin that has not been exposed to the light. The Gulags, my psychic landscape that holds fractal selves hostage, deep within the knots of timeSpace that demand a prism break. I know now how to release them, how to deFragment, how to Come To Terms with Self. Ive carried these seeds for lifetimes. It is Time, Now, to plant them into the Soil of the Souls SalveAtIon.
Charleen Johnston
1-29-2024
16 years ago I opened the Vesica so my Golden SonShine could spray his Radiance into this Reality.
I was told by so many people that I was Crazy…. For
Having an unassisted Pregnancy without a single doctor visit or test or invasion of my temple…for Birthing him at home, into my own hands, without outside interference by by anyone…..For not cutting his Umbilical cord and instead allowing it to detach in its own as he gently transitioned from one dimensional Space to another….for keeping him skin to skin contact constantly for the first week, and almost constantly til he could maneuver away on his own….for wearing him in slings snd on my back constantly til he walked at almost 10 months snd chose to run and explore….for never using diapers and instead learning his signals and pottying him…for Breasfeeding him til he turned 5, and never once giving him a bottle or pacifier or artificial external soothing substitutes…for sleeping with him for many years, and making sure his Bonding was secure and filled with love and support…never leaving him alone to cry as a baby…and especially called crazy and irresponsible for him never having been to a single doctor visit or test, nor allowed a single
Va$$ination or other invasion of his temple.
Everyone makes the choices they are comfortable with, and these were choices I was willing to defend with my life. When you defy everyone around you and in the face of societal and family programming, claim full Responsibility for your Gestation and Birth process and the consequences thereof, and choose to be a Testament to Sovereignty on all levels of your Being, you will receive all kinds of projections from the masses and from those who are so afraid of their own Power that they will silently hope for your downfall for the very act of standing against a System of Disempowerment.
It’s never easy to spend your life learning, and taking responsibility for your own Health and the health of your child. It takes courage and focus, and Trust in a level of being that will test every bit of you along the way. It’s not for the faint of heart. I’m not judging anyone who doesn’t make the same choices I made.
But I still stand by my own decisions, and I have a 16 year old blossoming Man, who has made it til now with not a single doctor visit ( minus a required Physical to enter high school)or allopathic intervention, or injection….he’s incredibly intelligent and quick minded, extremely robust physically, and very much his own person, with little care for impressing the crowd. I am grateful beyond measure.
I have made many hard decisions in my life, and more than once left behind everything I care about, in order to do what I felt was the right thing for the larger picture and others involved. Some may judge those decisions also, over the past several decades, harshly. The one thing I can stand by, is that every single choice I have ever made…I take full responsibility for. And there’s not a single person other than myself in all these years thst I blame for anything. Birthing my son in the way I did, and raising him against the tide of social norms and msss programming, was an Initiation of the highest order, and In the current climate of Medical Tyranny, and Invasion of Individual Will , and Rape of the Human Body and Mind with Injections and forced Penetration and Programs and surrender of Soul to a Machine that is little understood by those who have lived their entire life giving over the responsibility for their Lives and Health to something outside of them…. I Renew my Vow of Sovereignty…
And will undergo whatever further initiations that are calling me, with absolute surrender to my own Individual Path and Acceptance of Responsibility.
While allowing others to do whatever it is that they feel called to do, without interference by me.
May all beings find their Empowerment and reClaim their Divine Will and ReMember that Body is something so miraculously magical…. The more one lives in harmony snd devotion to their own physical body, the more they will live in alignment and devotion to the body of Earth…. And the less Fear of the greater Reality.
Blissed Be. Happy Birthday to my Starchild , and also to the Mother I became on this day 16 years ago.
CLJ 1-29-22
BlissNinja