I twist into these mournings, daylight saving me from the burning flame of darkness swallowing my emptiness while waves of irony wash over me i am toppled by the days and silently i sit hovering… wondering if i can float this time wandering thru wastelands of my mind picking up the book written by me on the other side of the dream the other side of the dream where it all spins into me… i find all the lost notes and all the lost tones and all the lost fractures of all my mended bones
I am painted the color red. I am tainted, the mother has bled
we D R I P together thru the weathered web, creating worlds in our head, to spew out into the ethers, to want neither this nor that nor wonder where its at, but to birth the beginning again…. knowing we are just seasons of rhyme
flowering in our own time chrysalis, wrapped up in a fairytale of all that is and was and wasnt for sale…
Across these moonbeams, these split seams, these written clingings to the dream…. across all these we call to invisible bodies that are singing in their invisible moments that are bringing their soulstuffs into existence to balance the tension of the desire to Be, and to not Be….
(The poetic Bio from my old webpage....i was around 24 i believe.)
I am the eternal girl, starchild and roguesmile and weaver of dreams both brave and wild... Born in a bustling blue dream, to a couple wit h lightflakes and dreamcakes in their innerspace! Grew up in the mountains of Virginia, free and fair, tangled hair, feet bare, there somewhere... Enjoyed school because of access to books, hated the authorities and teachers and crooks who feasted on the childrens minds, wasted all their precious time on frivolous things...though there were a few who seemed to know, who seemed to see, who seemed to feel the breathing dream...and in their lives I saw some light, and inspired with life I prepared for flight, escaped the gaping hole of home to soar the skies and freely roam. University, ah, big disease of society...wasted time and wasted braincells, tasted life but also hell, flew so high but nearly fell...nearly drawn in to the spinning flash of tangled thoughts and mangled mass of human drivel of human waste of human tears in sad dark place. Then free again, light peeked thru, home again, round two. Still the prison of closed minds and zombie sheep, they're awake they say, from their bleak deep sleep...Off to an island in the sea, Jamaica breeze calling me...to put together the peices I lost wandering amongst the holocaust of deadened creativity...and there discovered my mind was scattered, ego ripped and tattered and shattered, self awake but not on the ground, seeking my soul from the lost and found...and I glued remains of flesh and brains into a coherent and capable flame to withstand the pull of the world and the fool within my spin of twisting spools...and home I crawled with energy high to bid my time till next dreams flight. Then off on bus to coast on west, to possibilities unbound...to peace of mind still not found...and there I met myself and Love, my priddy twin flame, my husband in Soul...now with partner to share the smile to swim the wave in webs of life, I felt complete and strong and sweet and ready to begin my task of breaking the worlds coffin of glass...and we twisted and tugged and loved and hugged, my priddy one and I, back to the land of his home, the emerald isle , the mystical bone of all I sought and found within...and now life begins again...And now with eyes open to life I see that home was never the strife, the mountains begetting the flame of light that lit my soul and sparked my smile, yes Virginia my dear, I am a child...of your trees and flowers and breeze and rivers that flow and winters deep snow, and yes my parents were right in their ways to leave me free to make my way with mind and heart and soul so free, they never forced a mould upon me, never drowned the I that was Me...within this coagulation of life, energy, consciousness, within this mass of 'IAMTHIS' and now that time has shriveled into a point of light I choose to peruse, I embrace the heart of the world with a smile. I am the eternal girl, the magical child...rogue smile and laughter wild...
I like to mock the Mockingbirds I like to poke the shocking nerves I like to watch as the terror spits Out from mouths and fingertips Clickety clack the keyboard smacks Lips flapping as vitriol cracks The surface of the peeling sheath That hides the blues and blood beneath That boils with rage and scathing pain As one-time-friends wrack their brains To scold and shoosh and spitefully spray Their 'told you sos' across the screens Thinking that they're so darned clever Forgetting that the pointing finger Always aims straight toward the mirror Of their very own demons hiding in fear Afraid to admit they've been fooled again By the test of the festering war within That wears the masks of red and blue Dressed up in fancy political suits So lost in the drama they think it is real The marionettes strings are tangled, my dears The clarity is strangled by manipulated fear You believe what you see, you see Because the Net-Flicks the switch of Reality And if its on a screen by golly it MUST Be Real and sudden and Oh No, can you believe? I saw it with my own two eyes! I swear! See that footage, right there!!!! I told you so! I told you they are bad'...now cue the echo chamber as curtain goes down... Start a new thread and congratulate yourself For berating your fellows and falling in line With the pre-programmed WashingOfMind... You see, I'm mirroring the collective hypocrisy In my raspy lambasting of this communocracy Laugh at yourselves and remember you're human Just like that other person that your poison is harming....
Why do we rip? Why do we tear? Why do we crack? When there is nothing there? Nothing but a glare Let it slip Fall thru the lip Of the lie The tattered scattered Wounded sense of Why… Ms.Intense and her Defence is writing Down her W O R L D I forgot that Would-be humans Should be fuming Like factories unsatisfactory Failings Watching the mass Slaughter the lass Who saw thru the Ailings… She weeps aloud Her tears her turns Her aching burns Learns to break away Peel like clay From the potters hands Pieces of thoughts of Creation of good and evil All dripping down Thru my crown Into her Into her Hanging onto the sides Of my smile And pulling it down Into frown The weight of the Hate of the town Where once she slept Upon the Face of the beast Facing east Placing the casing Over the peace The fleece Of which I strove Down she dove Into ground she drove Out the demons That found her Hosting, Like Semen They swam into her, Scanned her for A place to hide, To ride and wait Till the light abades And here it comes! Uh oh, another day! Another game to be played I crack Addict did too… What was that I tried to do? Words are swords To sharpen and Splinter And spank And spit, her bossman Has had enough of it A tough lil bit Of skin To sink into To think it through To become the show Behind the ego To placate and dislocate And anticipate The dissolution Of that mask We made To play The game of ‘make a day’ Into the same old Give and take. Jump up and give A shout a shot A short salute To the World we pollute Before You crack And I crack And we lay Together Dreaming of fleeing Dreaming of feeling Dreaming of peeling The rots Off our dealings Till we can Still stand And look Thru swollen eyes And broken lips To rise Each morning, And to shake loose That grave grip And let slip the noose Of that pimp We call the Ego…
The waking awoke me from the broken spokes Paradox in playful parade of fire and smoke Of wise and fool and flaming jewels Paradise and Purgatory and Names and Tools Of wandering Souls paying the Toll Knowing the Self at the center of it All The dream of darkness as Journey unFolds Beloved Becoming the Beauty and Awe The whispered twist in the Story descends Terror within the minds of men Of magic and moments and omens of death Immortality shatters the body with breath Alone on the throne Alive in the brine In the womb of the mother I Rise and Shine Heaven a garden And Earth a Shrine The Wandering Soul Awakens in Time Bondage only a Self Inflicted Game Broken shards that long for the Kiss The denial of Desire that Dampens the Flame Turn Gods into Men and Mind into Mist Of mourning Suns and evening stars The patterns of Matter mirror the Heart Wheel of Wonder in Wandering Space The Time is at Hand in the gathering place Magic surrounds the opening of I's Mirror of mystery masks the disguise Of the Beloved in Form in Finite Flesh The surrendering renders me bright & blessed Self A Pointed Purpose inside the sphere As projections of Light that Turn the Gears It spins the Fractal and Loops the Feed Heals the Tears as Fleshbody Bleeds
Charleen Johnston 9-19-21
First word in each line makes a fractal of my rhyme
One Who Cannot reorganize and reOrient ones own body and release the disfunctional Structural rigidity and misAligned Stored Emotional Tensions that create constriction and prevent Free Flow of Life and Experience, cannot ever ReOrient the larger Body Politik. Inherent Apoptosis , wanders thru the Seams to make wY for Dreams of Integrity…. No? Yes….. To Living…. Is Yes to knowing the Key is Within Your own (S)Cell(F)ular Matrix
as history attests, burning the external representation of the system does nothing except make the scared herd cling ever more tightly to some semblance of being protected and corralled. One must Dismantle the Internal Structure that Bars the Being from ever realizing he never was a Victim to begin with; living an Authentic Life precludes the basic Fact that no outside agency has authority over ones Being, and begins with the tiniest gestures , of which very few people ‘alive’ are willing to Do, because as confining aS it is, most would rather be able to point their finger outside themselves instead of take full responsibility for theirSelf 🌟🃏🌟
….and ‘burning the ruling establishment to the ground in violent revolution ‘ is exactly what ‘they’ want, because in the intermediary chaos and confusion, ‘they’ simply reInstill and reInStall a tighter Reign on the Mind and the Hearts of those who know not how to exist within the Fluidity of ‘No Structure Imposed From Without’…One who has not learned to Organize their own Coherent Existence from Within cannot hope to exist peacefully in a systemless social arrangement any more respectably than one who concedes to the Program in order to remain comfortable.
You can call them He Or El or Shiva Or even Well… God…. Perhaps Electricity… I will say Sacred Salacious Spermatozoan SineWave SUperluminescent PsychoBioBabe Sparking Time For Selves at Play. You can call them She Or Magdalene Or Shakti- heavens Bride & Queen Goddess of EveryThing… Perhaps Magnetism… I will say Sacred Salacious WOmb of Creation Sultry SineWave SuperMatterMaterMotherMatrix Making Spaces For Selves at Play. The MagIC MagNet of MagNificent MagIcians So ELoquently ELevating ELemental ELect
In.perfect.matrimony. harmony.of.stars.as.shards. Of.wave-ing.bards. Sparked. Into.Partic.ulars.forming.worLds. As.words.disturb.the.silent.stillness. Of.the.Unobserved.as.the.raw.nerves. Of.magdalenes.body.exposes.pure. Mirrors.of.Magnetic.Seers.ELect-romantically. Sealed.into.secrets.pretending. To be. Here. Now. Breathe.
“We think in between the joints” Entire universes spread out like Time As Space hides Selves lost in sockets And held in rhyme, woven…wrenched From the mind and hidden in pockets Within the spine, the hips, The Shouldered relationships That bear the burden of Other Ways, to know here, to feel, hear And peel clear of stagnant flesh… Just one. More.Deep. Breath. Laying prone in a sea of flesh Held together by pure force of Will In a dance with past Feels and Reels That loop and tangle and twist As The feedback strangles the bliss Of Letting Go into the abyss Of the Space between The floor and Me As Self is reCentered in between The open Doors and open Seams Of I and Thou And dancing dreams. I release…. The tight grip That has ripped me apart For 41 years Held together by pure force of Will In a shifting atmosphere Of dizzy atoms here Playing tricks of light In a mind held so tight The body rebels… Swelling with the trapped rage In masked pages of the Word That Stages the painful dichotomy… Seams so loose It all spills out of me Chaotically I seem to lose autonomy Christened by the insistence Of my Fascial Lobotomy incised By internal programs That overRide Who I Am And climb thru the cavernous Space Between the Fleshy Creed That plays at Being Me…. It Dawns so suddenly The force of Feeling bleeds As pounding Heart Seeds frequencies Illuminating The maze that traps me…. Dramatic release…. A lifetimes unEase freed As the iron grip can no longer hold I leak right out of the mould And gather In a puddle of matter And Mater and Mother And matrix Of Self & Other And Open to the Fugue As the Swoon subsides…. And There I Am Peering In From Outside the Lines Where Dark matter Claims the Mind And Patterns The Play Of Somas Shame As it falls into the rhythm Of psyches Game.
A visceral reflection of how over muscled and controlled my Soma has been as a lifetime of the threat of puddling right out of my skin Has overcompensated To keep the chaos out( or in?) Hippos are meant to be soft And buoyant As they navigate the waters Of the emotional realm But mine has crystallized And been trained By the Martian masculine To grip so tight There is no room For darkness In the light Of Being. This I Know And See As I Do Now What is beginning To come Naturally. Let Go Into the Flow Of the See of Me Sew Seamingly slow And free.
BlissNinja 