When we are old and wise… too open our I’s… We Yearn to live our life Backwards Slowly crawling thru River Lethe Toward Innocence Eventually crawling right back into the Womb
To do It All Again
Eternity is In Love With the Productions of Time
The Fool hides Immortality In his travel bag Winks Smiles Looks over the abyss And steps off the Edge
A Lifetime of pain Perhaps All for the taste Of One Mortal Kiss
And This
Is what keeps the Wheel in Spin
To Truly Love An Other
We Must Forget Again and again
“If My Love is Blind Then I Don’t want to See Am I left to Burn And Burn Eternally” She’s a Mystery to Me~s
Approximately four days before I died I called your house to remind you of my funeral. But you were not home. And so I crawled off into the woods to die alone, without social gathering and without open casket viewing. And the moment after I breathed my last breath as I began to drift from consciousness I heard your voice in the distance calling for me. But it was too late. For I had already perished into the depths of my own denial- the denial that you cared for me. And now I am dead and I can still hear you calling for me...
12-16-1998
( deep down in the abyssal waters of the Descent….From Volume 6 Linguistic Trickster)
The Neutral Zone is the Creation Zone I am a chosen Enemy Of The State Of Mind That tries to tug at my I And keep me Blind To NeutralEyez is to surf the Callosum I call it stepping into the Center of the Spindle of the Core Processor The zero point The jester is the fool who has come full circle Creating worlds Taut InTension With Time & Space Words are worLds We fertileyez EL.ectromantically Sealed In Mag.Dalenes Vas Ben Clausum
Neither HemisPhere Will win the War Of Fear Within my Mirror
I Play in the Zone Of Zero A fancyFool Looking InWard To And From center
it’s called a news FEED for a reason, You are being force fed a juicy stew Of engineered ‘news’ and brewed unTruths Because the newcAge zoo runs on Loosh
But I don’t Eat From the hand that serves Genetically Modified Urges And emotional purges
I just chuckle An 8 second scroll unrolls Image after image Meant to unFold Inside the neural nest
Keep eating. Yum yum. At this Point in the Game Every single thing you react to Was baked in an artificial maze To Daze your neural pathways.
The script Is ripping your fiLes Compressed aggression Pretending to Lifes Sudden Happenings.
In Prisms I see your face plastered around me you are here beside me in essence. And should I fall, would I be gathered in by your gentle hands? Or would I crash fatally into the cold barren ground? I focus in on you I see past the flesh and I know you are there. I dreamed of you Once. I begged for you- and you came Alive in my world.
I float through your world weightlessly spinning around and around and around again It took me so long to find this place and I am now locked in I have broken down your atmosphere desecrating your perfect air in attempt to escape from here But your walls do not fall down. Your eyes are oceans of purest blue I swim and swim and swim in hopes of getting through to you. But your skies are painted dark and your storm sucks me in and now I'm drowning once more sinking to your ocean floor my body engulfed by your unforgivable sin. Your lips part like the red sea beckoning me promising to fulfill my reveries your voice is transparent your message is clear I crawl inside your crystalline tear urging you to join me as I slip down your cheek smoothly, calmly hiding from my only fear. Your aura attracts me distracts me makes me think that you are free- just an orb of energy to gather me in and suck me dry so that you can watch the world float by in your lonely, barren eternity.
I am very excited to be making great headway into this project that has been haunting me for a very long time. I have volumes 1 ,2 , and 3 available on Amazon and volume 4 is being formatted and edited now. I’ve spent so much time lately in ocd pursuit of completing up to the 6 volumes from January 2025 back to 1996 of my ‘dreaming back’ narrative of lifetimes writing . The next three volumes contain more writing by far than these three, as I wrote profusely during those years ( trying to stay sane 🧐)
I’ve done almost nothing else lately, so many hours into these just in the formatting and editing and rereading and all the rest. Reading thru 200 pages several times double checking for missed mistakes 😂 whole new appreciation for this process but I’m a little bit obsessed and am making good to my vow to complete the publishing of the whole series thru volume 6 by the time Jupiter leaves Gemini. The chart for this one is amazing too.
We must plant seeds at the right time for them to bear fractal fruit of beauty: I have lived my entire adult life with the astromythographical mirror of magic at my side, what an amazing gift we have at our disposal of we only learn the Languages of Life and Light🌟🔥🌟 Aquarius Electrical Impulse of Light and Awareness Opposed Leo Fiery FireLight of Warmth and Action and HeartBlood.
My north and south node are Leo/Aqaurius exact conjunct my MC/IC axis. To bridge the Heart and the Mind………as my Mercury ( communication/mental processing:language/writing/expression) sits exactly atop my Ascendent (Scorpio….the Psyche,deep insight/penetration/life death sex mysteries of existence, the deep dark of descent) and opposing Chiron( the wound, the gift we bring forth from that wound, the antenna, the area of healing the existential drama) that sits on my descendent in Taurus ( the body, the senses, Form, the roots, the inner values and substance of our being, the flesh). The modern rulers of those four signs are exactly conjunct….Sun/Uranus in Scorpio first house, and Pluto/Venus in Libra 12th house. Mercury straddled between the two. The psychopomp that travels between the UnFormed(12th underworld/unBeing) and the Formed(1st Self/Being). The Jester, the trickster in the liminal space. The Fool must come Full Circle around the circle of the zodiacal wheel..::earning its degrees by the decree that Life Must learn to Feel the Real.
Yes the fixed cross I am fixed to the cross Bearing The weight Of tearing fate From the forms I create As a testament To Destiny… Alchemy….. Burning the dross To make way For the best of Me
( sneaky picture my college roommate took while I was passed out In My bed 1998)
I Own it All…. It was bought ensouled It was brought from lead Right into gold As I smashed walls Between Me And the bed I made To make A soul.
I Own it all…. I own the Apple And the Fall I byte the Core And Process the raw Datum Flung from the Stratum that Spells Out Laws As cause and effect Erects A wall Between Me And the Dream I made To make A soul.
The voices captivate me Elevate me Even try to concentrate me But they can't endure This mind is pure Eternal door of the nothing more
My third eye is on fire Opening higher and higher Til even my mind Is the liar And now I don't know Who to believe I smile though while I know I am being deceived
They try to talk to me Preach to me Thinking they make sense to me But their mind is on the Green A viral sickness Caught in-between The here and the there Don't they know the Here is There? It doesn't matter where
They run from life They run from death What else is left? Some in-between? A placenta sunbeam Orange sherbert ice cream For the healthy daydream? A prism of nothing's and somethings That don't mean a thing 'Cept the words that define them Contain them Like an ass caught in denim Blue Genes to split your seams It's all a three-ring Circus full of shiny things To make the eyes squeam Feign Sell their souls for the American Dream Dripping like ice scream From the high beam Of the American side-street
The Freak show comes and goes They can't say No They get disgusted but they still go 'Cause their afraid to see What their own lives mean Chasing the Green They do a double take When they see me They're afraid to Be What they want to be And won't admit They don't like what they see When they open the Screen To the in-between.
Volume 2 available soon. These are retrospectives working backwards and will eventually encompass all the way back to 1996, an astropsychographical adventure awaits the completion of this project. This had to be finished before I could move on to the task at hand 🙂
BlissNinja 