Doctor: The Dream Crab induces a dream state. Keeps you happy and relaxed in a perfectly realized dream world, as you dissolve.
….
Doctor: You have a pain right here. It’s like an ice cream pain, but gentle. Do you know what that is? The skin and bone have been parted, probably half an inch, and something has pushed right into the soft tissue of your brain and is very slowly dissolving it. I want you to picture it this way – Somebody has put a straw right through your skull and is drinking you. You should be screaming with agony, but there’s anesthetic. Everything around you right now, even Danny, especially Danny, that’s the anesthetic.
……
Danny: I’m a dream and you know I am, right? Right, one thing, but it’s important. It’s a very important thing. That is totally how you guessed all of my presents.
Danny: Do you know why people get together at Christmas? Because every time they do, it might be the last time. Every Christmas is last Christmas, and this is ours.
Bellows: So these creatures, when their feeding goes wrong, they die?
Doctor: The carnivore’s hazard. Food has teeth, too.
Doctor: There are some things we should never be okay about.
Doctor: Dreams within dreams – dream states nested inside each other. All perfectly possible, especially when we are dealing with creatures who have weaponized our dreams against us.
Santa: Yeah, just get it done, head towards the northern lights. Yes, I remembered to switch them on!
Santa: Oh, for Easter’s sake! Of course you’ve been dreaming! Haven’t you been paying attention?
Ian: Rudolph – did you see the nose?
Wolf: The North Pole? Come on, with stripes?!
Ian: This …
Wolf: is …
All: … a dream!
Santa: How much more obvious do you want me to make it? Because I can text the Easter Bunny, you know.
Shona: You’re a dream who’s trying to save us?
Santa: Shona, sweetheart, I’m Santa Claus. I think you just defined me!
……
Doctor: THIS is your mind, trying to tell you this isn’t real.
Santa: So it gives you me. Sweet Papa Crimbo!
Ian: It gives you comedy elves, flying reindeer.
Doctor: Exactly.
Santa: A time-travelling scientist dressed as a magician.
Ian: Classic!
Doctor: No, no, no, hang on. No, no, no, no.
Wolf: Living in a phone box.
Doctor: It’s a spaceship in disguise!
Santa: You see how none of this makes any sense?
Doctor: Shut up, Santa!
Doctor: No, look, we don’t need all this touchy-feely stuff.
Santa: Shut up, Doctor!
Santa: You are deep inside this dream, all right, and it is a shared mental state, so it is drawing power from the multi-consciousness gestalt which has now formed telepathically …
Doctor: No, no. No, no, no. Line in the sand. Santa Clause does not do the scientific explanation!
Santa: All right. As the Doctor might say, “Aw, it’s all a bit dreamy-weamy!”
……
Shona: I’m scared.
The Doctor: Congratulations, that means you’re not an idiot.
The Doctor: No need for chatting. You’ll only get attached. This isn’t Facebook.
Clara: Doctor. If Santa was only in the dream, why was he on my roof?
The Doctor: Do you know what I hate about the obvious?
Clara: What?
The Doctor: Missing it!
The Doctor: Clara. Page number. Make it a good one.
Clara pointedly: Twelve.
The Doctor: Wherever you are, the Dream Crabs have got us. And we’re all being networked into the same nightmare.
Ashley: Where’s Albert? Where’s the Professor?
The Doctor: He probably just woke up somewhere in the real world dead. If we don’t wake up now, we’ll do the same.
Clara: But how?
The Doctor: I don’t know.
…..
Clara: So what happens now? This is us all just waking up, right?
The Doctor: Could be. I hope so. Waking up or…
Clara: Or?
The Doctor: Just focus on this: do you believe in Santa Claus?
Clara: I’ve always believed in Santa Claus, but he looks a little different to me. {she hugs the Doctor}
…..
Claus: You really should be waking up too, Clara.
Clara: Just a little longer.
Santa Claus: Why?
Clara: Every Christmas is Last Christmas.
The Doctor: Oh Clara. I might have known that you would be the one to sleep in.
…..
The Doctor: We should do this every Christmas.
Clara: Because every Christmas is Last Christmas.
The Doctor: I’m sorry. I was stupid. I should have come back earlier. I wish that I had.
Santa Claus: Do you, Doctor? How much do you wish that?
The Doctor: I’m not still…?
Santa Claus: Wakey wakey!
…..
The Doctor: The TARDIS is outside.
Clara: So?
The Doctor: So all of time and space is sitting out there in a big blue box. Please! Don’t even argue.
{Doctor Who, the last Christmas}
Doctor: You’re a dream construct, currently representing either my recovering or expiring mind.
