Woke several times and Re-entered right where I left off. Several prelude dreams, leading up to immense lucidity and I decide to wander around. I peek inside an opening/window to old building that at first just seems to be dilapidated and run down....but Im drawn to it and I go in, and I realize its actually some kind of catacombs or burial ground....with protruding rectangular tombs in geometric patterns....its very old and dusty yet well kept....I can feel the energy is very intense, and my lucidity grows, I can feel my energyBody rev up and Im super excited to explore. I feel almost like I was summoned.
I start to wander around and there is a vast underground network of tunnels and corridors and rooms. Much of it grey and simple and dusty. I pass no one, see no one. After wandering and exploring for what seemed like hours, seemingly going further underground in descending spirals/ mazelike corridors....I come to another entrance.......it says 'Le Museum D'Arabesque' on it. Its reddish, and bright, and almost has a carnival feel, with all kinds of geometric art and patterns all over inside it, walls, floors etc, but other than that, uncluttered and bare.....but beautifully ornate. This is extremely exciting, and I feel like Ive made it to some secret inner sanctum. I think to myself 'Wow, I am so very lucid and aware, and Im pulsating with such velocity, I must be sure to maintain my focus and not get distracted, or pilfer away what astral energy I have, i do not want to lose the chance to explore this. Maintain sobriety and yet dont get lost in detail, as that will swallow me out of this Astral Local'.
Im rubbing my hands over the beautifully carved patterns in the walls, I can feel the energy in them. There are so many different rooms and configurations. Some seem to be small living quarters. Each one very simple however. There are more open larger 'public spaces' to, very ceremonial in feel. Here and there I pass people, some of which take no note of me whatsoever, i am unsure of whether they cannot see me (i.e im not vibrating on their frequency) or whether they just dont care as they are not threatened/I am allowed to be there......but some seem to immediately be aware of my presence and stare or seem to wonder who i am and what my reason is for being there).
(((( SEveral times I awaken during the night, to pee, etc, and go STRAIGHT back to the same place as soon as I go back into Dream, like a honing device )))))
At one point I start to feel aroused, as often happens in a deep state of lucidity, and often signals to me a need to refocus my energy or to recalibrate, because my energy body is asking to be able to hold more of a charge so i can have more awareness. I begin to look for a particular room as by now I have pretty much explored most of what I have found in my immediate vicinity, and I remember there is a hidden room and I want to go into it to 'engage my arousal ……but as i am walking along the corridor an asian woman and young girl are walking behind me.......they are looking at me, I try to go around the corner quickly and I pull open the art panel/wall piece that I know exposes a secret slot that leads to room.....and I crawl thru, but not quick enough and they see me climbing thru and pulling it shut......they are peering in at me thru the crack they are now aware is there (they seem to have not known about hidden space).....the woman is surprised and suspicious of me. I try to convince her that she should just go on about her business, but im also aware i dont want to alert anyone to my presence in case it causes alarm. The room i am in is small and has a rectangular bath space in floor filled with water, its a sacred bathing room or something, there is little else in the room. By now I realize i will not be able to accomplish my original goal and even though they leave, I am glad...because I feel if I had dispersed my sexual energy or relieved it, I would not have had enough Astral charge to continue my explorations. So I realize their intrusion was to my benefit.
I leave the room and continue. I run into three men who seem to 'work' there....or have something to do with the place...guards etc. I speak to them and I manage to convince them that I know that there is more to the place and I must discover whats going on and why I was brought there. I talk them into helping me. I tell them to meet me at particular spot after they take care of a few things for me, so that we can proceed without hassle. Upon return, there is only one man left, who tells me the other two were 'not up to it' or something, alluding that he was only one courageous enough...he seems to have big ego and kind of annoying in his self praise, but I find him harmless and definitely will need a sidekick who also knows the corridors and layout. My excitement is thru the roof now, because I assess how much time Ive been in the Astral and to that degree of lucidity, and its been a while since Ive managed to 'be out that long'....so I think to myself that I must hurry and not waste ANY time because I may begin losing my awareness at any point.
We end up in this very large room, and there is a middle age woman with dark wavy hair dressed vibrantly in geometric pattern dress, sitting on floor at a stone slab table. She has tarot cards in front of her. When she sees me she seems taken aback, as if shes surprised, yet aware of the possibility of seeing me....almost as if she knew about me but didnt really believe Id 'make it that far' The whole thing feels like some game/test/initiation, as if I am being led thru some kind of inner labrynth to find out whether I am worthy of what it is that Is Calling Me. The woman smiles at me, and I kneel next to her, with the man behind me standing. She says 'I shall read for you', and she pulls two cards. The cards are very unfamiliar. They are glowing. She seems tense as she reads them, and mumbles a bunch of mathematical and geometrical stuff, some of which makes sense. the rest which does not. She is moving her hands over them and fingers in patterns, as if she is literally 'reading ' them and communicating with them. I accept her reading, but then say 'I also read cards. And I would like to pull one of my own'. Again, she is surprised, as if no one had ever asked/requested to do that. But she allows me to, reluctantly. I pull the card, it too is glowing, I can feel the energy of it. It says at the top, in a beautiful cursive writing, that seems not to be english but I can read it or at least intuit/understand what it says 'Continue Forward On Your Chosen Path'.........I exclaim to the man 'see!!!!! I am going in the right direction!!!!'. in the center of the card are two images, on the left is an image of the original catacombs I discovered and came thru, that led me to this place way underground. on the right, is an image of 'le museum d'arabesque' which I am in. At the bottom it says something I couldnt quite make out, or remember, but that referenced each of the places......almost like it was a tracking device/coordinate code/something plugging into my Awareness so that I could find my way back to that place AStrally, again. I give her back the card. She wishes me luck and blesses my journey.
I tell the man we must get supplies. I now know I can proceed with full Intention. We find our way to a room that has clothing in it, and I dig around, trying to find something that will be suitable for the adventure. I pull on a black dress, halter style/almost like a gothic short patchwork warrioress dress....and I wonder to myself, whether I will be able to climb if I need to, fight if I need to, jump stones and streams etc....I see image in my head of doing all those things and I can feel my agility and I decide it will work fine. My hair I notice is dark and is pulled back in dreadlocks. I feel strong and agile and capable and ready and excited. Feels like my whole life has led to this. I know in myself i will not fail, whatever it is. I was called here, 'they'/someone' is expecting me, but I must prove myself. We leave the room. IN the corridor there are 6 or 7 books propped against a stone slab bench. All glowing with their own light. I know that I need to choose one, that it will help me on my path. But I must choose wisely. I look them over without touching them. several seem to be blank journals, but thickish and possibly heavy. There is one that is full of large grids, like graph paper but with very large graph squares. they are varying sizes. I am called toward a rather thin one, hardbound, old, that seems like a story book. I pick it up and we look thru it.....there are some blank pages, and there are some pages with poems on them, in different languages. Old. There are some pages with snippets of stories on them/ almost like 'chapters' but it is all put together in such a way that none of it seems directly related to each other. One of the pages has a 'story/info' about a particular TYRANT and I gauge that it is sorta like a myth. I tell the man “This is It.”
I know these stories and poems will help us decipher the puzzles and riddles we are sure to come across. We can use the info in this book to help direct us on the way, and we can use the blank pages for notes or maps'. I think to self then, that the writing in the book was surprisingly steady and consistent, compared to many 'dreams'. where the writing changes as you look at it. Right then, as I am about to head off on the Adventure, I am woken up by R and its time to get up. Noooooooooo!!!!!!!! I was so ready to keep going!!!!!!!!!! Feels like the coordinates of that 'place' are embedded inside me now, and I plan to try and get back there.
Last night was an epic Adventure. In summary: High Lucidity..... Exploring a stone castle type building covered in snow and ice... Running up the outdoor stone steps and leaping walls... Seeing another dwelling near it... I walk over... Strange monkey type astral wildlife... They are in survival mode... Scavenging food and resources... Life is Cold and unkind at that high elevation... They are not concerned with my presence... They run inside the dwelling they have laid claim to.. I follow one in... Round the corner... Dank... Cold...unhospitable....seems deserted for a long time... Then I see a room... Bare mostly... And a woman and several kids... They have been seeking shelter... I wonder to self how they could survive in the harsh elements... And feel great admiration for the strength of will and deep compassion for their hard life. I leave... Thinking I will gather some supplies and give to them.
I'm in a car.... Highly lucid and aware I'm In Dreamtime..... Thinking of my mission... The woman and kids...and feeling excitement. A very loud shattering Pop. Sizzling Tear. Deafening silence, then. In front of me.... Massive white cold coronal mass of light/energy/Isness.... I could almost touch it... Taste it.... It's so penetrating I'm stripped bare... It seems almost like a Sun that has penetrated right thru many dimensional layers.... Melting thru the fabric of TimeSpace peering sentiently at me…”he who knows himself knows his Lord”.....The excruciating sentience... .... It's so familiar.... I think to self 'wow. Maybe I'm No longer in the astral plane Playing with worlds... Maybe I've just died... Like totally untethered from the Self I was enjoying being... charleen'...
Sudden I'm Sure that it's true... That I was peering so deep In because I was no longer anchored.
Moments of sadness pass. I feel " I wasn't finished yet with that life.... I liked it" but I get over it quickly and let it Go... Knowing I've 'died' as Charleen this time... " I guess it's time to finish my Mission on other planes".... I leave.
I am called back to the snowscape mountain fortress with the smaller dwelling. I just Know there's something there I must find or see or learn. I am outside a large warehouse type building....I KnowFeelIntuit that there is some kind of echo/sonar Entity/device/something.... I go thru the wall. I. See these dolphin like creatures/machines? They seem to be fused.,. Organic/inorganic???is there a difference? They are floating around in patterns.... Using sonar.... It's like their movements are Language.... It's eery in there... The energy is palpable.... I feel compressed... I see down at end of long aisle... A woman... She's running data on crazy computer thing.... I'm next to her... She appears to be my mother... But I know it's a projection... Created from my memoryCardMind in order to make me feel safe... I fuse my energy body with the dolphin thing... And suddenly I Am sensing in Sonar and Echo Waves and it's so fascinating... I can see that the Warehouse is a storage Cell for Moments.... That every thought action feeling was creating simple to complex patterns and that these entities or devices were everywhere decoding with sonar/echo technology every Impulse within the Weave. It was All there. I realized that by fusing with the dolphin thing and sharing it's 'vision' that I was actually recording My Own Patterns as Well as the patterns of its own interference.... I was then fused with the 'mother' entity that was no longer using my Moms energetic template... But that of a young man, almost boyish... As soon as I see thru his eyes and see the dolphin creature staring right back at me, I begin to disrobe... The dolphin makes contact with its mouth.... I am nearly knocked silly with the vibrational frequency of bliss but at that exact moment I have the thought ' it was a test.. A trap... Now my energy has been drained/absorbed.... ' I feel shame that I was not more discerning... But I let the thought go....and left
Scene shifts.
I am at a river out in the woods….seems like a sketchy place that only deviants or outsiders go to ….brave people on the fringe….I am walking/hovering around the water. There is a young man catching lobster things/crayfish…I see another person way over at the edge of the water, who seems just to be observing/watching me. There there is a ball field fence to my left and in the field there are people playing ball. I run up the river and see the crayfish in groups in certain areas and none in other areas. I see a very large one like a lobster under the water too.
I am once again ruminating and thinking about being dead, and feeling a little regretful, like I didn’t finish my ‘work’ on earth as ‘charleen’…I think how lovely the physical fleshly ability to Touch is. I think a long time about this, and about walk-in stuff. I think to self "I will really miss the touching of flesh..... The Love of Humans. It's such a beautiful part of the game'
I think about my family and friends and how much I enjoyed this particular Lifetime Character and Plot. I start to wonder if I really should just incarnate again... But then decide it takes too long... And will have to pass thru the veil of forgetfulness.. And depending on circumstances...may not ReMember again... who I really Am.... and all my memories and who knows, may not get back to my current state of consciousness next time around….and end up trapped inside the Wheel again. Then I go deeper into the possibility of 'walk ins'…..
Could I take over the body of someone departing who no longer needs it? I could reanimate the Character in a different SElfSuit.... I Figure if I could be a ‘walk-in’ and take over the body of someone who is unable to use it anymore, or who is dying-I could use that persons ‘life’ to re-contact my own SoulGroup/Family and be close physically to them again…and maybe finish my ‘mission’.
At this thought I find myself in a hospital-like environment…and there is the body of a young black girl, whose spirit is leaving….and who I am debating whether to Merge with/become. But I don’t. It does not feel right.
I must finish my adventure.......
Scene shifts.
I am still ‘Dead’ and no one else can see me, except certain people…. I am at a pool with someone who seems to morph from B into R etc. I am hungry and remember food is there…and see a table with sandwiches and people etc. It is a big pool and lots of people and activity all around. I am unable to eat though, but keep trying. I feel hunger by I cant ‘eat’….AT one point someone tries to feed me a mozzarella ball and I can taste that it is salty, very salty. I can taste the stuff but not swallow or actually eat it? There are some Asian girls giggling at a table with their trays of food, and I take bits from the trays. They don’t seem to mind. D.M is there….he seems to be in the same state as me….and he keeps freaking out and I help him….I calm him etc. It feels like I keep trying to forget that I am not in physical body/’dead’ but keep being reminded. There is a part of the pool that is up on a bank or steep hill, and water comes up to the poles but just stops there….like a fake boundary line. Its weird and fake looking and makes no sense. Several people are bathing up there, and I wonder what they are doing/what makes them special. I am ready to leave and have my bookbag with me, trying to put food in it…and I have wet clothes…I tell B I will get dressed as we walk home along the long road/path…but realize it will take too long and he has already started walking. I put the bag on the stairs and stuff the clothes in it….slip oisins tiny flip flops on my feet, amazed I can even wear them. D comes around the side and I am like ‘I will help you, man’ and he is laying on the ground and kinda shaking and convulsing, a seizure. I put my hands on him and calm The Current. Through all this there is an awareness of something I am ‘forgetting’ or have a ‘vague notion of’…..something ‘I must do’ or ‘gotta hurry’ etc.
I AWAKE. Glad to still have Time left as Charleen.
I've died hundreds of times in dreams, and in lucid dreams I've died and woken into different lives/selves... So many permutations of it...
But this was different. This felt like.... I was so unfettered in my Astral/light body when face to face with that DimensionDevouringWhiteColdLight that I felt certain I must have been completely freed from my earthly vehicle for good.
I'm glad I Am still in this particular Game. I like it Here. And it's starting to get even more interesting. Now.
Happy the Artist had some of my Ai art printed in vinyl for my car!
I build shelter out of scraps Of form left behind Scattered in my mind Out of place Just a face of the task at hand And the wilderness is free It beckons me Leaps out at me when I try to Stand, its Been so long since my feet Have touched land And the beasts they form A circle around me Praying for me At first I am afraid and I Fail to see But gradually I am allowed in To see the light I’m Wallowing in And I make love to the leopards Of my own making Touch tongue to the gentle Awakening Healing taking place between This world and this scream That opens the door, In this valley, in this forge And how high can I fly When my spirit is untethered My feathers bending with The wind As I am gathered in By the hands of the one I am cradled and gently Laying stable upon This shaking ground This haven I have found And dwelt upon Till now But I remake myself I trace the fake parts of This hell And make them new I make them true I dance with them until They are no longer blue I am taking this shadow And teaching it form Without walls Pure storm I let it gently cascade over me As my body bathes in the breeze Of spirit passing over me…
Happy the Artist finished repainting the ninja steed!
Restless nights breed breathless dreams Selves are bursting through my seams into Abstract messes of Me slipping over stars in velvet thought cars weaving in and out of Light but never getting far too many times I have read between the l i n e s and still SunsRays seep into mine split and splayed she sings her rhyme time after time and sight after sight fighting for life In this restless night these listless dreams free me it seems but still I am salvaged from selves sweet struggle pledged against the rubble of Will to lift the gift to the top of the Hill where light and rhyme build to climb puzzles melting into Mind sweeping color over the lines smiling despite the salt crystallized from tear formalized Into fear and the night grows on the night glows on strangers in song whispering parodies In Vogue tongues outstretched to taste the load this I know Is Selves in Silence shards of sacred on shelves of violence whence we came and whither we go spiraling in and out of the show taking our turns on tiptoe as the shake moves thru the dance penetrating glance from those who star In the versions of Play that gather where you are.
Allow your judgements their own silent, undisturbed development, which, like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be forced or hastened. Everything is gestation and then birthing. To let each impression and each embryo of a feeling come to completion, entirely in itself, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own understanding, and with deep humility and patience to wait for the hour when a new clarity is born: this alone is what it means to live as an artist: in understanding as in creating.
Rainer Maria Rilke. Letters to a Young Poet. Trans. Stephen Mitchell. NY: Modern Library, 2001, p.23-4
Whenever a person of unveiling sees a form which communicates to him gnosis which he did not have and which he had not been able to grasp before, that form is from his own source, no other. From the tree of himself he gathers the fruits of his cultivation, as his outer form opposite the reflected body is nothing other than himself, even though the place of the presence in which he sees the form of himself presents him with an aspect of the reality of that presence through transformation. The large appears small in the small mirror and tall in the tall, and the moving as movement. It can reverse its form from a special presence, and it can reflect things exactly as they appear, so the right side of the viewer is his right side, while the right side can be on the left. This is generally the normal state in mirrors, and it is a break in the norm when the right side is seen as the right and inversion occurs. All this is from the gifts of the reality of the Presence in which it is manifested and which we have compared to the mirror.
This is the swan song..... Demonacrobaticommunist beer pong twisted into misty fists of sovietLiberal newDawns In Daze of Knights in masks and disArmoured Rights and Lefts that rise enMasse to hail the new Pawns as they are swapped for Queens and Kings on the chessboard of Light and Dark flights of Fancy Rapt Attention as sewn Dissension begets new Dimensions of Red Imposition
Get into position My friends Let's say this simply so the useful idiots Can begin to rescind their terror Let's open leaden lids and wipe the mirror Clean, this dream is about to get more twisted Yet, Resistance just a false flag assistance from the Scripted Set and Setting as Debts are counted and regrets embedded in mounting Systems of Slavery
The flavor of this mess Order out of chaos as the agitators profess ....politik pointing to prolific policy's of pathetic arrest of sovereignty as the blessed messengers confess their incompetency
This is the Swan Song I want to say it straight but my finger-tongue obfuscates and nameless shame penetrates reminiscences of the defenseless days of burning stakes and bludgeoned brains laid to Waste in bodies I've been alive inside in times like these in lives that bleed the broken neural codes that fold me back into Somatic Steeds that weave my Soul through dreams and Seams too numerous and bold to behold in scenes that flicker through golden Reels of Old.
This is the Swan Song Born once more to bore my way through this maze of Youth and Age in a new Play written on the script of the burning Page that smoulders with the smoke of Burning Sages On the stage of Time, trapped by my own Will to Feel the rage and Wield the Wage of War up my Spine.... Just trying to climb my way out... Rewind the fine twine of the cage of mind and threads that bind me to this climate of crime projected from inside the blind screen of shouting demons Acrobats of simulated semen priming the new aeon to line up.... One.... More....Time..... As the Cycles Ride the Tide of this Massive Wave of mutating Mind.....in a sideways glance I watch as the Trance takes over.... The melody of mania dances through the crowds as the Swan Song Hovers......frozen.....
I rise with the sap …don’t they all? But do they savor The agony of the thaw? The golden whisper The gilded walls That crumbled within The twisting halls The manic moments …electric sea Magdalenes womb Opens through me In chambers of gold Ripened carbon Break the mold With diamond body I rise with the sap Pulled by the tide Waking the wonder That sleeps inside.
Words do not a Poet make; A beating heart that bleeds To break Over and over and over again Is the ink that forges the tortured pen- Is the blood that spills and fills again- Is the open I that struggles through time To weave the words that wake the mind As Holy Athanor holds inside The broken Shards of Soul and Sines- Waving magic in tragic rhymes Bleeding seeds that tie and bind The love affair of Space and Time;
Words do not a Poet make; A desperate dance with the daemons Of fate Over and over and over again Is the ink that forges the tortured pen- Is the blood that spills and fills again- Is the whispered wisdom that bears thru pain A lucid truth that fractures the brain As sacred Golgothas hidden codes Implode within the neural nodes- The Christed seed is born anew From heavens leaven, the holy Dew The Time is Now and the Poem is You.