Ive been rereading 'Women who run with the Wolves' and one of the parts has really inspired me to begin a new project...a book of poetry and artwork called Body that chronicles my life up to this point, from the perspective of my body. I want to try and capture what i felt for example, as a child, thru my bodys eyes, and as a teen, etc, thru preg and birth and afterbirthbody...etc etc. I am very excited to start this because it really gives me a focus for creativity, which I have been trying to get fired up again lately. I know that I may not 'complete' this for a long time, but the structure of it gives me a little framework to pour my soul into. And I would like to welcome anyone else who wants to share their own creative voices of Body....
The Body theme is very important, especially now, because so many people are suffering due to the way society views and treats the body, and has done for so long....Also, from reading others' posts and blogs, especially mamas, I see how many people deal with issues related to the body, for different reasons. One way or another, Body is something we all take for granted, yet spend a huge chunk of our lives obsessing about.
Here is a passage that I found very beautiful.
"...The second awakening involved a much older woman. Her hips were, according to common standard, too pear-shaped, her bosom very tiny in comparison, and she had thin purply little veins all over her thighs, a long scar from a serious surgery going around her body from rib cage to spine in the manner in which apples are peeled. Her waist was perhaps four hands wide. It was a mystery then why the men buzzed about her as though she were honeycomb. They wanted to take a bite out of her pear thighs, they wanted to lick that scar, hold that chest, lay their cheeks upon ther spidery veins. Her smile was dazzling, her gait so beautiful, and when her eyes looked, they truly took in what they were looking at. I saw again what I had been taught to ignore, the power IN the body, The cultural power OF the body is its beauty, but power IN the body is rare, for most have chased it away with their torture or embarrassment by the flesh. It is in this light that the wildish woman can inquire into the numinosity of her own body and understand it not as a dumbbell that we are sentenced to carry for life, not as a beast of burder, pampered or otherwise, who carries us around for life, but as a series of DOORS AND DREAMS AND POEMS thru which we can learn and know all manner of things. In the wild psyche, body is understood as a being in its own right, one who loves us, depends on us, one to whom we are sometimes mother, and who sometimes is mother to us."
from Clarissa Pinkola Estes' 'Women who run with the Wolves'
I think that especially for a mother, loving Body and being Body is very important. Imagine trying to explain to your little baby or child that you dont like or appreciate the body that they adore, that they take so much delight in, and find their sense of comfort and warmth and strength? Until I had my son, my body was this abstract thing, really...I was never very connected to it, certainly wasnt EMBODIED...and actually seemed to hold in higher esteem being OUT OF BODY or OF THE SPIRIT...It took pregnancy and childbirth to fully connect me to my body and to really understand Body...as a force as well as a form. I spent years trying to get away from Body, hiding from Body, denying Body...and now it seems to me to be blasphemy...in some sense...Things that I thought I understood back then were just intellectual gropings....now I have True knowing, True Feeling, True Selfness....not a delusion of grandeur...but a participation in something that is so immense and whole and wonderful in so many ways, and that Body is here in order to take this Isness into Herself and Express it in ways that could not exist if Body Were NOT... We as a culture have degraded flesh for so long, and it has led to so many problems on many levels... People seem to believe that if you allow the Body what Body wants, you will be 'led astray'...haha...but I have yet to meet more than a few people who have actually been embodied in the full sense of the word. And there is nothing to be led astray from. Body will lead us home. Body is our ability to relate to other selves and worlds and ideas and vibrations and realitys....Body doesnt hinder us in the pursuit of 'enlightenment'....Body IS enlightenment.... Its not so much that we need to bring awareness into the body, but to allow the bodys awareness to LEAD US OUT of our preoccupation with our prison walls, which we have built around ourselves because Feeling is so damn intense and so completely overwhelming that living a half life is preferable for most. And body gets blamed for keeping us 'beastly' or 'dense and profane'...etc etc....I believe this is all backward. I think that only the truly courageous and those who dearly want to become as conscious as they can be, even attempt to understand and honor Body, because to do so would make most everything else we know seem very insignificant.
So here is to Body. In all her forms. In all her force. And with all her faces turned to the earth... because Body does not need to seek the light....the light seeks her... for it is the joy of the universe which dances in her thighs...
And here is to all the Mamas who have been thru the primordial creation thru her own body here now
Shhhhhh…… Don’t write so loud- They might hear (Prying eyes that hide Inside Minds that fear…) These words tiptoe Down stairs Under where No one else knows… Somas Rose So full of Charge I fear I am larger Than Life can hold…. Lead into Gold As SunLight UnFolds Me From this bed Of salted tears I made As Dream wakes me Into playful prose Disguised inside These fleshly clothes…. That only a Poet Could Know.
“When we dance, we wake up, we get down and juicy with ourselves, we have fun and forget all the heavy shit we carry around. In the dance we get real, get free, get over ourselves. Movement kicks ass. When you truly surrender to your own rhythm, you look so cool, so mysterious, so seductive— the way you deep down really want to look but don’t trust that you do.”
Gabrielle Roth, Connections: The Threads of Intuitive Wisdom
Crossing to Avalon, Jean Shinoda BolenWilliam Styron , Darkness Visible Dante’s Inferno
🌱Viriditas🌱
My bedtime reading a reminder of the lush greening and the moisture of aliveness. Venus in the glory of bountiful natural juiciness of expression in abundant hues of green. Taurean fertility and adoration of the sensual world that saturates and quickens the blood. The Power of the Greening. That which is alive is wet, is moist, and as Time takes it’s toll, demands payment, it is in moisture, removed……Saturn is Dry. It contracts and dries things out. As moisture dries up, Life dries up. Turns to salt? Saturn is salt. Salt is wisdom. The journey from Green Venusion birth into the sensual realm of aliveness and bodily experience. Ole Saturn, through Time pulls the moisture out, condenses, constricts, makes dry and brittle and rigid. The wisdom that comes from embodiment and disembodiment in patterns and cycles of knowing and forgetting, being, and letting …be. Saturn is melancholia. The darkness that overtakes when the moisture of life has gone. The Melencholia of intense depression states, the complete loss of all the juice of living. If you know you know. Saturn is a harsh task master but always wise. If you’re worth your salt, your worth your sea as the womb space of psyches dream pulls you in.
Went to bed with these contemplations. But never slept. So eventually re/lit my candles, and grabbed a book that had been in que. William Styron ‘Darkness Visible’ about his descent into Melencholia and Madness. Saturns initiation. If you know you know. Read the whole thing before falling sleep. The journey of Saturns slow wicking off moisture from the body and mind and heart. The seemingly inexplicable dance with the leaden realm that makes the Viriditas ever so sweeter when the waters return. Saturn and Venus and their dance.
I went into a laughing fit that lasted probably ten minutes, towards the end of Styrons book. One single paragraph seemed to me so hilarious…..he spoke so articulately sardonic and it was so metaphoric of how little the ‘system’ understands the ramifications of Madness of Melancholia when Saturns slow shrivel has dried up every last bit of wetness from the soul. (See photo of the excerpt).
“Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura, Ché la diritta via era smarrita” ~Dante
I awoke to the sound of the pouring rain outside, could feel the earths reception of these heavenly waters as a tonic for her thirst. Ah. The greening. And the wet juiciness of life. The green hue that surrounds my house a reminder of the love for living that Saturns dark lessons make New and make pertinent. Knowing the hot dry temperatures coming up in the next week, I felt myself relax into this rainy downpour that quenches the parched earth.
Let it come I will hold my naked face to the sun And give my breath and my death Over to Life Let the blind fury Of the Ordered New World Inoculate crowds all around me Against their Spirit Let it be known That my Spine shall remain sure And straight Rooted in the matrice of my mother Smiling still as I Let those I love Destroy the last vestige Of their sovereignty As they knot and tweak Their ~deoxy.Rib.oh.Next.Stop.Is.Asking For.Breath~ With a mouth That no longer knows how to Speak Let it come And my naked soul Will take solace in my naked earth Away from the crowds Who have sold Their last sacred cow For one more sip From the poisoned Trough Let it be known That my entire Life has been Lived In preparation for this Trial As I watch the rind Rot Around me Exposing the elements of Wild Wonder As the Plot is torn Asunder I smile with my naked mouth Making the air pure Again With my gratitude Let it come I am here Naked & Unashamed
Imagine….How easily, the Transfer has happened, the downloaded Dimensional Devastation as Humans are Trafficked and Territory is reMapped and trapped in saturated frequencies of ghastly Stories of Limitation….
Imagine this….they Say….coders imploding DNA and neurolinguistically enfolding a New Way To Play This Game…mama and daddy holed up in static attics of decay labeled Nursing Homes and Centers for Elderly Stay…. No hope no more of touch or warmth Just a Cold Sterile Hand to help them to the Grave….no rope in the Storm to pull them to the banks of this River of Pain… We Step Aside…. Pretend to cry about this situation…. The InsemiNation of Artificial PlayStations where Creation springs from binary Minds and Satiation brings no Hope for the Scope of this Trick of Light…..
Imagine this…. Into Being…. They Say….. Knowing the glowing power of the Mind to Create inside the Lines they’ve sketched for your Lives….. But Weight…..Of Flesh is the Gate thats kept in Blessed Stasis , just a magic oasis for the baseless claims to take Hold, the Body is the Key to the Heart and the Soul…. And we’ve left our Mothers and Fathers Dying Alone in the Cold….The Disk Drive of the New Timeline rides on the Wiped Files of the Old…….
Imagine This…. They Say… It’s all for your Safety, stay brave and face this calamity behind 4 protected Bars of Irony, 5G(o)D will project it’s Tyrany in ways that make no Visible Waves , Dialed Up soldiers and Digital Slaves , the Progeny of Pornographic Passageways onto the Mass Stage of Awakening in these Last Days of Reckoning…..
Imagine This…. They Say…. Follow your Bliss this way…electroMagnetic Policy will Insure you remain Protected from Pain… No Stain on that soft Skin, their Claims will gather you In and keep you free from Sin, Sure…. Censored by Siri , Us vs Them in a teary Mirror of Theory that’s clearly mired in Sirius Error and Fallacy thats nearing Idiocy…..
Imagine This…. They say….knowing the Codes that Upload your DNA into the Clouds, the Eyes and the Nows are Portals that Round up the Number of Slumbering Souls that Allow this blundering highBrow crowd to Shroud the Skin of Human Men and Women who Stand up loud and proud to remain on the Ground Of Being, Bleeding and Feeling and Risking the peeling layers of decay, fearlessly slaying the predators who prey on the Shame and the Blame that is created from day One in this Game, resisting the blistering of the acid rain that eats away the brain of sane trains of thought…. Who cannot be bought and sold with cryptoGold and Mined and primed by artificial Lines of demarcation….. Masquerading as Salvation as the Battle begins for this metaphoric damNation….
Imagine This…. They Say…. Resistance is an insistence on endangering your neighbor, a crime to be enforced and punished by Angry gang bangers with trigger happy fingers waiting for the neural slice and splice of the Lightsaber Device that strangles organic Sight and paves the way for the GameChanger of digital deLight. Is this the Wager, is this the Fight? Is this the Dream that Mars the Night?
Imagine This…..they say….. Keep your Eyes on the mediaL Nerve…. But I Say … You Deserve Better…. DeServe unFettered Life that still bleeds and Sings Blessings Together in hordes of human Offering. Imagine Carefully…. I Say…. Because I Mages enCode the Wisdom of the Way and our Power is The Pinnacle of Creation in this Play.
Is ‘spirituality’ and/or ‘divinity’ and/or ‘enlightenment’ truly about transcending the body and this ‘material’ existence? In my experience, that very belief creates a rigid perception of AllThatIs….. If we are self aware and conscious…..on a very basic psychological level….are we not far more aware and conscious on deeper levels(fractally infinite?)….and if so……does it matter what ‘someone’ labeled/labels those deeper levels of awareness….or whether a specific ‘angle of perception’ is ‘true and enlightened’?………….Is it easier to believe that we are ‘accidentally’ caught up in this material world in this material body, to learn how to escape the very material we are living……than to see that this ‘material’ is conscious and aware and is us, just as much as/more than some abstract notion of spirituality and divinity, and that if instead of trying to escape this level of energy, we embrace ourSelves down to every particle, every unit of awareness, and transform it into higher and higher frequencys of ‘existence’ and consciousness, we will find that we dont need to ‘transcend the body’ whether it be our ‘individual’ bodies, or the body of earth, or the body of our universe…etc etc etc.
Did we really focalize ourselves in this time/space continuum, this specific fractal of consciousness, just to see how fast we can leave it? I think that a basic inability to truly see and understand the true power of what we each are, on all levels, leads to the belief that one must escape this reality in order to be divine, or to be deserving of ‘god consciousness’. I think that alot of peoples viewpoints are patterned from christianity and other religions, and they dont even realize it….but whenever that fundamental ‘desire’ to leave what we are now, and/or our ‘body’ , etc, to rejoin some ‘spiritual haven of eternal light’ takes center stage, that same religious paradigm is still lurking and working under the surface…..
personally, i think most people would benefit from truly relating to and understanding the ‘darkness’ within/around one, and by coming thru that darkness and pain and negated bits of consciousness, to transform it……….into Power…not power over(even over ourselves) but power TO BE…..an infinite variation of things and dreams and streams of force and consciousness and forms and feelings and blah blah blah………….I think that we as a whole, for a long ‘time’, have had an obsession with ‘the light’………and dont even know what it means……..
just some thoughts.
as a previous poster mentioned, I also have met many people (and been one) who have denied the pain in favor of an idealized airy fairy realm of divine light. I understand at this point in my journey, that its not about denying anything, whether ‘material’ or ‘spiritual’ (they are just different frequencies of the same energy…)but to EXPERIENCE everything, to FEEL IT, to BECOME IT, and to LOVE IT, for consciousness/awareness sake……..and when the experience is passing from focus……….to LET IT GO….without creating a rigid structure from it….. To be totally open to everything that manifests, on any level, and to learn to travel the threads that connect it all, in ever deepening ways……to me, that is Power. Power of Self/God………..and the more energy you can ‘withstand’ and ‘transmute’……..the more of Self/God etc, that you have ‘realized’…………………
….whether ‘dark or light’…..my intention is to experience everything, and to become aware of more and more of the Energy that Is, in whatever shape it takes…..and to evolve WITH my ‘body’…individually and collectively….not AWAY from my ‘body’……….its quite easy to travel thru and/or ‘escape’ into worlds of very light/’high’ vibration while ‘leaving’ the body…………….its far more challenging to revolutionize the body and ‘travel with it’…………….making every Cell in AllBodies totally Aware………………………….
…………………….so the whole cycle can breath itself out again in an even more conscious state………………..inhale, exhale…..
……………………..the endless cohesing and coalescing of the AllThatIAm………………………..
just another angle, {{puella …..Charleen
Re: religion and energy. Thu, November 17, 2005 – 4:29 PM}}}}}}}
I slipped through a crack in the sky Tripped right over my own silly I And plummeted Through the atmosphere Of dancing atomsHere Mapping tears as Phos Fears Wrath and mirrors Refracting Errors As Eros Arrows begin to fly Aimed at Body as Blind Mind tries To hold on Hold out Hold still as Tempest rages about Weightless Images in cages Break the lock And find their way out, in… Eyes of Mages and Pupils And Sages Wake with the shock Of the skin As it begins to peel Away from the clock tocking within The rhythm of Opening And closing Pounding it’s poultice and pouring Its Salve at ions Dreaming As men And women Dressed as Time Spiral path in precious Flesh Dancing thru the Annals of Spine My oh my The journey tries my Patience As I Let Go, satiated by the Doctors Cosmic Order….the Flow Aeons of tight fisted History I now come to Grips With… I hit the Smooth surface Of my Mothers Womb…. Taste the salty brine and prepare To slip through SineWave Lips Soft as sultry hips that shimmy And shimmer as Soul unfolds in bloom A Sacred Intention to Serve This Body of Being As I am Birthed from the Dark Deep See Into the Light of a New Me that Bleeds Stories and Deeds filled with the Perfume Of the Divine embrace Shiva and Shaktis infinite Delight Making Love from the Loom Of Time and Space.
In the in Between Before the dream Overtook me... That effervescent beam that clings Like dew to my Mindscreen After the dark night has risen Like yeast inside of me Shone Daimonic face The trickster dressed in lace And leather And choking on feathers From my Flock Mocked me Pointed to the clock And shook me from complacency The Red Tale of Fires embrace Rose like dawn And threatened my Face With scabs of disGrace from legions Spawn Fighting for ascendancy As I silenced the grim Grip Of their insistent Whims And kept right on The same old track Of dependency Ignoring the tortured truth That swarmed my limbs And swore to remain imprisoned Within... Spoken to me in a cross Between Whisper and Scream As I lay Trapped in stasis Peering at faces Whose skin peeled like panic From the ancient Dream... ...Worry of whether I'm worthy of the flame Grateful for the shocks And the shards and the pain That lodge within The neural Stains And strains of my heaving Heart... "Stop Showing off... And Make Real Art" ....and in a flash The great Rash of Impulsive Inaction Flickered in the Smile Of the Vixen who agreed To stop feeding On my flesh If I vowed To rise from the bowels Of this Blessed Test Of Will And say Goodbye To Patterns that Shatter The Sanctity of Time Trapped within loops Of Mind... As I Bleed within Mother Matter in Fractal Flowers that Unfold In Sacred Sines.
BlissNinja 