Dreamtime January 26, 2017 (Holographic Explorations)
I am in a very subtle dimensional space and my intent is to explore various particles of my Body, I focus my energy and travel into different parts of my self, each fragment containing the Whole. I feel as if I am recalibrating and retuning myself, so that I can align with my Will in a way that will have positive repercussions for my waking world. There is a theme also of astrological axis'. I am exploring energetically my particular blueprint/program for this current RPG consensus reality.…..pondering how I can best use the Code I wrote myself into, upon entering this dimension at birth. There is a Code for every expression of Self here, and it expresses itself via the natal chart in each person that comes to Embody that Facet of the Whole. Like a computer program, each code is made of basic archetypal energies/ sourceSelves that act as a script……that our embodiment plays out in an unfolding Drama. I focus on my fixed axis of Asc/Scorpio Dsc/Taurus MC/Leo/ IC/Aquarius…and the fact the nodal axis is exactly conjunct the vertical MC/IC axis.and that the 'rulers/archetypes/source codes' of each of the fixed poles are conjunct each other.ie the ruler of my asc/scorpio (pluto) is exactly conjunct the ruler of my Dsc/Taurus (Venus) in the 12th house and the rulers of my IC/MC axis (Sun and Uranus) are exactly conjunct in my 1st house. 12th being akin to the formless/ the 1st as Self, thus the two acting to bring the poles together. So all four rulers are in deep communion. I see the vertical axis depth of Being, and the horizontal axis as Breadth of Being. Vertical axis/spine/nervous system/world tree...horizontal axis extended arms/creative linear expression of one particula facet of SElf in a manifested world. 'Man cannot live by Bread'th alone' ; ) I also reflect upon the fact that my Mars is exact conjunct the 'galactic center' or 'black sun' or 'great central sun' or 'dark rift' or center of milky way. I realize this is like a direct connection to the central core processor of this holographic playscape creation program .
..I ruminate on the metaphor and reflection of the Trip event, ( age 19 eating 13 hits acid and the experience that was catalyzed) ….which was strongly energized by Astro-transits…. And being plugged in to the Universal Telephone…overwhelmed by the codes and equations of this creation, to the point where I had the choice of whether to come back into the game, or to continue on surfing the fractals in an entirely different focal point of Self. All this is going through my lucid dreaming awareness, and I then realize that I was sleeping with my right arm straight above my head, and my left along the side of my body, and that I do that often, and that it seems connected to the circuit of energy connection between my dreamingbody and physical body…as if I am plugging in. I am then in a dual state of awareness of my physical environment and my Dream environment, which is more like a holographic field of information. As I begin to stir from the Dreaming, I analyze the fact That the more I learn to penetrate the Codes that make up my Earth body design and formation (natal chart energies as particle expressions of that exact moment in the 'universe' expressing itself in this dimension as Charleen while in the deeper dimensions expressed as Waveform fluid fractal self)…the more fully I can express That Which I Am.So do we choose which facet of the universe we want to experience, and live out as Self, and then step into the script/program........or are we chosen?
Dreamtime Astral Adventure February 8 2013…..early morning Dreaming. “I Must Find and Wake Lisl”
NOte: Was at lisls til a little after 2. Had drank a shot or so of cherry moonshine and a beer, but nothing more. Felt very alert and lucid, not typical for being that late. We had been speaking in depth about various things like consciousness and OBE etc. When I got home, I spoke to the Purple Sage Trout and afterwards was totally bombed and came in and went straight to bed. I was so tired and heavy, and as i took off my shoes I thought to myself ‘good god, i just wanna lay down and sink into my pillows….fuck dreaming and whatever else, all I care about is a long deep sleep in the black void’ …..I laid down around 3am. Shortly after falling asleep, this is what I experienced
⭐️I am in the course of a normal ‘dream’ and I suddenly catch on that I am ‘dreaming’ and immediately the very ‘air’ changes around me, It is like walking thru a mist into a more vivid reality, almost like the dream dissolves away all around me, and I can see the ‘pixels’ start to oscillate higher or and I feel that I am going incredibly Lucid and get super excited. The first thing I do is stretch my arms above my head and ‘lift off’ with my Intent, shooting straight up into the sky. As I am traveling up at great speeds, I think to myself, ‘I cant imagine I will be able to retain lucidity in the Astral very long, so I better get straight to what I want to do’….
Once I get up a certain distance, im looking below at earth and I dive straight down……im gathering momentum and intensity, rocketing toward earth, eyes open, energy rushing past me til I am inside the vortex, riding the wormhole down faster and faster; at a certain point I focus my intent and INTEND to find Lisl. As I am swirling thru at immense velocity with my Intention to Find Lisl I repeat to myself ‘I am with Lisl I am with Lisl’ trying to tune into her and make my way there. Instantaneous, often…..when there is no conflicting or subconscious thoughts that make ones path stray. But when I ‘arrive’ at destination, out of the vortex/wormhole…I am in a large building, industrial style. I know I am not in the vicinity of Lisls, and so wonder where I can be, how did I ‘think’ or ‘intend’ myself to this spot. So Im exploring the building a little bit, very conscious of the fact that its been a long time since Ive had enough focus and ability to keep my Astral Aware and Vivid. I find It strange that I was able to get OBE while so tired and under the influence of smoke…which often makes it harder for me.
Im enjoying walking thru the building but start to get impatient so I just go up thru the ceilings and layer thru layer til I get to the roof. I look out over the landscape and I do not recognize it…..its not a big city but its not a tiny place either. I am trying to orient myself, thinking….which direction to Lisl? The whole time my focus is on trying to Find LiSL….determined to get to her and get her awake in the astral. I give up on physically trying to orient myself. I go to method 2 and close my ‘eyes’ and INTEND to be with Lisl…..I dive from the building to build focus and momentum and again find myself in the Vortex and I just keep my Intent focused on Lisl. This time i find myself around some people. I have drawn attention from some folks who come over and are interested in what or who I am…..their energy turns to somewhat threatening, and I am trying to ‘push back’ and I struggle with them, trying to ‘fight’ them away or something, its doing no good, their force is stronger the more I resist. SO I suddenly remember (its been a good while since Ive consistently done astral travel/adventures) that they can do nothing to me when I am in the Love vibration….Immediately I hold up my two palms, toward them, and INTEND (hard to explain other than knowing the feeling of using energy with INTENT and the art of INTENDING which is a little different energetically/astral than what many think of as INTENTIONS etc on this plane) Love coming from my palms toward them. Immediately they are kept at a distance, they cannot come past the ‘barrier’ of love that is coming from my hands and that I am now surrounding myself in. As I do this, I also remember that I can travel via this energy in a different way. I want to get out of wherever I have found my way into, im obviously not welcome there, and I put palms toward earth, and Intend again, the love energy, and the force propells me like a rocket up into the sky……
Im playing with this energy, practicing maneuvering with the force of my Intent as manifest thru my palms….and getting better and better able to modulate myself. I then, again, create/stretch into a Vortex and am just letting it take me wherever it goes, thinking that maybe I should just follow wherever my subconscious is wanting to take me….its like resting in an all embracing ocean of vibration……but with the feeling of vast movevement all around me. I stop. Everything is crisp and lucid. Im on a hill, and way off in the distance I can see lights and what seems to be a city….I am drawn to it, in a playful manner, and I think to myself that ‘wow, im still Awake in the AStral, and its already been quite a while….”
I dont want to lose focus so I stretch method up into the sky again and dive back down, generating velocity which helps me to stay focused and alert and not fade into ‘dreaming’….so i decide I will take a little fun flight over to that city way in the distance. Instead of flying the way I usually do though, I play more with the IntentLOVE from my palms and I lay on my back, though hovering in the air about 10 feet above the ground…..I ‘boost’ myself, again taking off like a rocket, backwards, and as if laying looking at the sky. Its almost like sledding on an air current. As I get close to the city I think to myself ‘this is NYC!!!!’ and I boost up so I can get a better perspective and Im way above so that I can get the birds eye view of the lights and all that. I revel and feel so free and joyous. But i also realize time is running out, there is a sense of urgency of not letting this Lucidity go to waste. I have ‘work to do’.
So again, I try to get to Lisl. I end up in some house. There is someone asleep in a bed, I guess Im in a bedroom. Its still dark, very early morning Im guessing….but inching closer to dawn. I dont want to be where I am, because I am aware that I do not know the person asleep and I am trying to find Lisl, not a stranger. I am starting to lose Focus, my Energy is waning, and as I try to go thru the wall to pass right thru I bump it at first. I gather myself, try to generate energy so I dont completely fade into ‘dreaming’ and I am able to pull myself thru the wall…..not smoothly like when i have alot of Intent stored up/Energy….but almost like trudging thru, though im only passing thru a maybe 1.5-2 foot wall. It takes me a little bit to get myself thru it, as if my Density is intensifying, my ability to vibrate high enough to keep percieving and having access to my Awareness and Lucidiy is shifting. But I get outside and Im then looking up into the sky, there is one ‘star’ that seems huge to me, or is in some way ‘different’ with my astral eyes, it seems like its Calling Me….like Its beckoning. I think to self, ‘well I will see if i can get all the way up there and maybe from that vantage point I can figure out which direction to go for Lisl’, since I obviously cannot keep stray thoughts from redirecting my attempts to get to her. So I zoom up toward this Star, all the while focusing on Lisls Energy, and trying to tune in, so I can match vibration and ‘be there’ (which is usually how I do it)……but I end up just playing in the air, way out in space, practicing shifting my energy and intent and using my hands for focusing Love and all that.
Im then back in a flash to my apartment……I know that I am nearing waking, I cant maintain the Consciousness or the Energy/Astral Focus….but I dont want it to end, Im fighting against it….and I literally reach up thru the ceiling, hardly able to get off the ground at this point, but manage to get my hands thru the ceiling, and can feel each individual layer of the spackle and the boards and etc etc….very slowly and laboriously pulling my way up thru……to where I feel like im caught halfway, dangling out, because I am unable to keep the vibration high enough to maneuver anymore. Then I snap awake.
Thrilled about the experience. Its about 6am. I look toward the window….I can see very light snow falling, just barely, and I think to myself ‘well, here we go STORM!’ then I lay for awhile going over and over the experience, with a massive amount of excitement, yet wonder, at how i managed to have enough lucidity to go Astral, so late at night and so tired and after being ‘not clear headed’ when falling asleep. The core of the dream was that It was So important to find Lisl so I could not only excitedly tell her I was OBE-ing….but to help her ‘get out of her body too’, if I could do that, it would be way easier for her to manage the experience herself next time. Its like creating a neuronal path, once the ‘door is opened’ its easier and easier to move thru it at will.
Lucid Dreaming with Angelina Jolie
Dreamtime
Feb.19 2005
I am a part of some kind of ‘mission’ and I am in some sort of room with a projector screen. I am being beamed with a light and my vibration is increasing rapidly…at one point it starts getting quite intense and uncomfortable but I remain still and calm, because I know I need to be prepared and that is what the experience is for. I am thinking that my right side, near kidney , is the sorest during this but I feel it is due to the intense ‘Cellular Change’. Then I am in this big building and Angelina Jolie is there and she is part of the ‘mission’. I am lucid, but passive to the dream content, and the building we are in is quite large and majestic. It seems we are a team. At one point I am watching with others as she is dancing and singing on a stage in a white dress….she has about 8 backup dancers and when the song ends she bites each one on the neck like a vampire….part of her ‘duty’…and the dancers fall one by one to the floor bleeding and dead. But everyone watching thinks it is all part of the show, and fake. We know we must get away before they realize what happened. Then Angelina disappears and I am in the rafters of the building keeping out of sight. I see people running and screaming then, they have realized the dancers are dead. I see someone carrying one of the dancers away in their arms and the body is already decaying and fading away…..rigor mortis had set in. Very strange sight. At this point I am lucid still and very agile and jumping and flying around all the rafters and up the walls etc. Some men come in and are looking for us, they seem to know who we are and that we were a part of it all. I am still in the rafters and I climb thru the ceiling and into a secret spot in the attic, where it is an auditorium sorta…with, again….a big Projector Screen. There is a middle aged lady with a little girl there, waiting for the ‘screen picture’ to begin. Most of the seats are empty. I take a seat after speaking to the woman….and again I am Buzzed/zapped/penetrated with a beam of immense and intense Energy that is hard to tolerate. I go back down thru the rafters and an older ‘James Bond’ type dude is there and pulls out a gun…he doesn’t see me…I swing down and kick the gun out of his hand…….which causes all eyes to be on me. People are trying to capture me then. I flee out the door of the building and It is dark outside. I fly and swoop thru the sidewalk and across the road and fly up into the night sky. I suddenly have the sensation in my dreambody that usually precedes an Out-of-Body-Experience/Astral Projection. I revel in my now even more enhanced Lucidity and deeper state of awareness. I Dive down toward the earth(which is something I have always done in order to dive into a wormhole/vortex/Energy tunnel to travel to some other place/dimension/etc or to deepen my lucidity/ or to try and regain my lucidity when I start to feel my Awareness or DreamingEnergy diminishing. ) I am focused and gaining speed and frequency and clarity and diving straight into an energy vortex. Suddnly I see a vision of a movie box briefly, with an image of Tom Hanks and Colin Farrell on it…both naked and facing each other…a closeup shot at a beach somewhere….I am drawn into that beach and then am walking around there. I then see a large water vessel, sorta like a submarine….I am intensely lucid and excited at this point and I feel I know where I am going. I pull open a huge heavy door and enter the vessels interior hall……going on around and thru till I see a section with seats almost like a bus. There are a few people seated….and the vessel is moving. The driver is far up to the front somewhere, but he can see me. I recognize the two girls seated near the back, and they recognize me (from previous Dreamtime experiences). One of them says ‘Charleen, I don’t think you are supposed to be on this vessel’. I feel I know that already, but I am just poking around out of curiosity. The driver then mentions that I am not supposed to be there, also…apparently because of my role in the previous ‘Mission’ at beginning of dream with Angelina Jolie. I ‘know’ that I am/was a part of the group/team that are on this vessel, but I have offended them or ‘strayed’ by taking part in that other ‘mission’. I say “ I know” and laugh when they say I shouldn’t be there……then I jump up and crawl right through the top of the vessel and I am on top of it…the two girls follow me up to speak to me. I am wearing a skirt and squatting….I notice that my vagina is quite visible and so do they….I laugh and say “oops! I guess I am being obscene, like a proper Inverness girl!!!”.’ They say ‘Yes, you are’ and seem disappointed and annoyed at my antics. I realize then that there is a group of people after me because of my role in the other ‘mission’ . I fly away then and seek out a certain building where I know Angelina Jolie is. I cant seem to find it/her though and the people who are after me are getting closer and I am trying to trick them and get away…..but it is hard because they have had the same ‘Training’ as I have. So I am trying to outwit them moving they various dimensions and frequencies etc. Eventually I do find Angelina. ……she is sleeping naked in the top room/attic of our apparent ‘hideout’ building which seems to be up in the sky. I climb in through the window and lay down with her…..she is sleeping but I embrace her and hope the people will not find us. Finally she awakens….but is confused at first. I am trying to explain to her about the people after me……she then says ‘I know you…..you are from my dream….?!’….I say “ YES!!!!!That is right!” and I am trying to get her to remember the ‘mission’…..she says “ yes! Oh my god! The dancers!” and I say “ Yeah, you bit them like a vampire etc” and at this point it all came flooding back to her and she remembered we had been ‘Dreaming together’ and that we had been long time ‘dream buddies’. There is a seemingly immense ‘erotic’ yet nonsexual bond between us and I seem very devoted to her. We know then we have to get away from there because the people are going to find us any minute….so we hold each other and phase lock and ‘Fade Out’ of the dream environment consciously.
In the darkness of this [analytical] initiation, the two people instinctively move nearer to each other. A bond forms, as if an eros between the dying, something that is other than the transference of past emotions, other than love between pupil and guide, between patient and doctor, a quite rare and inexplicable feeling brought by the mystery of the image.
I do not know what this kind of loving is, but it is not reducible to other more familiar forms. Perhaps it is an experience of the eros in Thanatos. Perhaps it is an experience of telestic eros, of which Plato speaks in the Phaedrus, the eros of the mysteries and initiations of the soul; or, it may have something to do with the creative eros that always occurs when one is close to soul, the myth of (Eros) and Psyche moving through our emotions. Whatever the nature, there is a loving in dream work. We sense that dreams mean well for us, back us up and urge us on, understand us more deeply than we understand ourselves, expand our sensuousness and spirit, continually make up new things to give us- and this feeling of being loved by the images permeates the analytical relationship. Let us call it imaginal love, a love based wholly on relationship with images and through images, a love showing in the imaginative response of the partners to the imagination in the dreams. Is this Platonic love? It is like the love of an old man, the usual personal content of love voided by coming death, yet still intense, playful, and tenderly, carefully close.
“⭐️This book changed the way I look at dreams, or maybe the book taught me what my heart always wanted me to understand. Hillman looks at the dream as happening in the “Underworld” – a place of death – and wants us to enter into that world to understand the dream instead of trying to drag the dream up into the day-world by interpreting it.
Some quotes from the book:
“Freud’s method projects the persons in a dream back over the bridge into the dream-day, even if for the sake of their latent meaning. We associate my dream-brother and dream-father to my day-brother and day-father and, by this association, return the dream to the day. Jung’s method of interpretation on the subjective level takes the dream persons into the subject of the dreamer. They become expressions of my psychic traits. They are introjected into my personality. In neither method do we ever truly leave the personal aspect of the dream persons, and thus they remain in the upperworld. Dare I say it loud and clear? The persons I engage with in dreams are neither representations of their living selves nor parts of myself. They are shadow images that fill archetypal roles; they are personae, masks, in the hollow of which is numen.”
“Public performance on a stage, perhaps because it puts us into the underworld of theatre, also constellates the curious interplay between life-soul and image-soul. The almost depersonalization experience of stage fright makes one feel deserted by one’s soul. All that one memorized and trained for has suddenly vanished. It is as if another soul must play the role, and this moment of going on stage is like a rite de passage, a transition into death.”
“For a dream image to work in life it must, like a mystery, be experienced as fully real. Interpretation arises when we have lost touch with the images, when their reality is derivative, so that this reality must be recovered through conceptual translation. Then we try to replace its intelligence with ours instead of speaking to its intelligence with ours.”
Hillman notes that when we see a killer in a dream, we tend to fear him. But Hillman looks at this figure as a helper who is trying to initiate us into the Underworld land-of-the-dead; the dream world: “There is a divine death figure in the killer, either Hades, or Thanatos, or Kronos-Saturn, or Dis Pater, or Hermes, a death demon who would separate consciousness from it life attachments.
Hillman, in one section of the book describes the circus as a metaphor of the Underworld: “Where else but the circus will we ever see the underworld in daylight: the tent of enclosed space, the rings, everyone as close to death as his or her art will allow, the freaks of nature that are beyond nature, and above all, the precise performances of repetitive nonsense, as if Ixion, Tantalus, and Sisyphus had once worked for Ringling Brothers.”
“The comic spirit masquerades in all things we do and say; we are each a joke and do not need to put on a white face. The matter is not one of becoming a clown but of learning what he teaches: making an art of our senseless repetitions, our collapsing and our pathologizings, putting on the face of death that allows the dream world in and watching it turn ordinary objects into amazing images, our public persons into butts of laughter.”
“Unfortunately psychology emphasizes attention and recall; the dayworld wishes to have, must absolutely have, a ‘good memory’; a bad memory is more devastating to success than is a bad conscience. Forgetting therefore becomes a pathological sign. But depth psychology based on an archetypal perspective might understand forgetting as serving a deeper purpose, seeing in these holes and slips in the dayworld the means by which events are transformed out of personal life, voiding it, emptying it. Somehow we must come to better terms with Lethe, since she rules many years, especially the last years, and we would be foolish to dismiss her work only as pathological. The romantics took Lethe most seriously.”⭐️
James Kulm, in reference to the book ‘The Dream and the Underworld’ by James Hillman
{self portrait series Kennedy Peak 8-6-24 part 4 ::::The SilverScreen of the Underworld Dream }
~all photo captions contain quotes/excerpts from the book by Hillman
UNDERGROUND AND UNDERWORLD When using the word underworld, it is imperative to keep in mind a distinction made by some classicists. This distinction is of great psychological importance, because it frees the psychic realm from nature. Chthon and ge (“underworld” and “underground”) do not necessarily refer to the same region or evoke identical feelings. “Chthon with its derivatives refers in origin to the cold, dead depths and has nothing to do with fertility. “This kind of deep ground is not the same as the dark earth; and the Great Lady (potnia chthon), who sends black-winged dreams and who can also be called Erinys, cannot simply be merged into the single figure of the Great Earth Mother.Psychology’s great-mother complex has swallowed even her own differentiations. Small wonder that this complex is also called “uroboric consciousness,” for even she herself vanishes into an interpretive monotony that makes me believe that the monotheistic psychology I so often belabor is less a mimesis of ancient Hebrewism (within and alongside of which there was much space for imaginal variety) than it is a mimesis of the Great Mother. Monism as Momism. Be this as it may, when we read analytical psychology today to discover about the ‘chthonic,’ we find it has taken on her meaning of primitive earthiness. Morever, as primitive and earthy, it must mean matriarchal and feminine. Thus our instinctual body, whether in flesh or image, in men or women, in the past or now, belongs to her, and we must become murderous heroes to get it back. The great-mother complex hangs the trinket of female gender on agriculture and fertility, as well as on the earth, body, instinct, and on depth. This move ignores that chthonic is an epithet belonging in the sense of “Is ignorant about,” a chthon that cannot be identified with instinctual body or earthy soil.Let us be clear: the chthonic is not only female, not only instinctual, not only physical, and it does not have to do with fertility rites. As Wilamowitz-Moellendorf said, Ïf modern scholars, who talk so much about chthonian cults, think in this connection of agriculture and all that goes along with Demeter in that sphere, they have not accustomed their ear to the overtones of Greek words.” The two words ge and chthon imply two worlds, the first of the earth and in it, the second below the earth and beyond it.There are even three distinctions here which have been imagined as levels of earth: an earthed imagination in keeping with Ge herself, whose name we still find in ge-ography, ge-ology, and ge-ometry. The first of these distinctions is between Demeter’s horizontal green plain with its activities of growth and Ge, the earth below Demeter. This second level Ge, may be imagined as the physical and psychic ground of an individual or community, its ‘place on earth,’ with its natural rights, rituals, and laws (Ge-Themis). Here, Ge serves as a fundament on which human life depends even more deeply than on food and fertility, like a governing maternal principle that makes material fertility possible and is its spiritual ground, and then beneath these the third, chthon, the depths, the dead’s world.Of course, a polytheistic mind does not firmly divide these “levels,” and so Demeter-Ge-chthon frequently merge in epithet and cult. (What scholars imagine about the Greeks does not correspond, nor must it, with what the Greeks imagine about the Gods.) Also against my distinctions is the fact that one can as well view the entire complex of the underworld that one can as well view the entire complex of the underworld from the perspective of Ge, as does Patricia Berry. She then is able to see much of the chthonic spirit that I meet in Hades to be equally present in Ge, and that Gaia (Ge) is both material, maternal earth, and chthonic void with its own spirit.The question here partly turns on how one regards earth. The strata of meanings which I have just laid out in terms of Demeter-Ge-chthon imagines a nonphysical earth or terre pur, below or beyond and maybe prior to the ground that we touch. Some etymologists and classicists try to relate the three “levels” culturally, believing one level of meaning to be prior in the sense of historically earlier than another; as if in a genealogy fantasy themselves, they try to derive one level from another, tracing the historical development of these three concepts. For example, Kirk refers to the very early pre-Socratic Pherecydes of Syros (frg. 1), who placed Chthon at the beginning with Zeus and Chronos, “but Chthonie acquired the name Ge…”Rather than enter the arguments of historical fantasy, I would keep to the psychological distinctions reflected in the three words and three personifications. Ge herself shows two aspects. On the one hand, she has to do with retributive justice, with the Fates, and she has also mantic, oracular powers. (Ge chthonia was worshipped on Mykonos, together with Zeus Chthonios and Dionysos Leneus, as she was linked with the chthonic Pluto and Hermes and the Erinyes at Athens [Areopagus].) This is the “great lady” who sends the black-winged dreams and is appropriately the mother of Themis (“Justice”). This spiritual side of her can be distinguished, on the other hand, from the physical Ge to whom grains and fruits were given (Ge-Demeter). Demeter too has a mystery aspect; her daughter Persephone belongs to Hades and has an underworld function. The spiritual significance may not be reduced to the physical (death cult to fertility rites, sense of justice to agricultural rituals) without ignoring the blatant fact that there are different figures with different epithets. In other words, even the earth and nature have their psychic function as well as their terrestrial ones, and one may serve the earth and be on the ground in more ways than one, i.e., through psychic activities, and not only through natural ones.“Is it the transition to light that gives the dream its shadowy quality? We all know how much of an art it is, not to dream, but to recall it.”The distinction between chthonicand earthy, between invisible fundaments and tangible ground, between darkness of soul and blackness of soil, between three Egyptian hieroglyphs, one for earth, another for Aker or entrance to the underground at the edge of existence, and yet another for the realm of the dead of Anubis, the blue-black jackal-dog.Once again, the distinctions are presented in terms of distance. The most radical classicist of the late nineteenth century, Erwin Rohde friend of Nietzsche, said in his great work Psyche that the underworld of Hades and Persephone is so remote from our world that those removed there “can have no influence upon the life and doings of men on earth.”He further emphasized the distinction between the underground of Ge and the chthonic underworld by saying that Ge ïn actual worship was seldom found among the groups of male and female deities of a chthonic nature such as were worshipped together at many places.”The spiritual quality of the underworld stands forth most clearly in descriptions of Tartaros, which, from Hesiod onward, was imagined to be at the very bottom of Hades, its farthest chasm. Tartaros was compared with the sky – as distant from the earth as the heaven above, and it was personified as the son of ether and of earth, that is, a realm of dust, a composite of the most material and immaterial. As the fantasy of Tartaros developed, it became more and more a pneumatic region of air and wind. Unlike the Christian hell of fire, in the imagination of late antiquity Tartaros was a region of dense cold air without light. Hence, Hades often was spoken of as having wings, just as in the Gilgamesh Epic, Enkidu dreams of his death as a transformation into a bird, his arms covered with feathers. The dead are clad like birds, their element evidently air.The volatilization of the underworld contrasts it sharply with the ground under our feet. In the Alexandrian age, the netherworld lost its localization in the earth altogether – that is, it became free of natural literalism – and was geographically transposed to the underside of the world. There was now a lower hemisphere. The word subterranean (hypogeios, or “below ge”) referred to the whole celestial hemisphere curved below our earth and which, like Hades, must necessarily be invisible from our perspective. It cannot be seen from our usual standpoint. Already then the dayworld and the nightworld, the two sides of the romantic soul, were conceived in a geographical theology of the upperworld and netherworld.In “this theology the world is divided into two halves by the line of the horizon; upper hemisphere is the domain of the living and the higher gods, the lower that of the dead and the infernal gods. “The Egyptians had carried into extreme detail this reversed world below our feet. The dead walked upside down, feet up, heads down. “People there walk with their feet against the ceiling. This has the unpleasant consequence that digestion goes in the reverse direction, so that excrements arrive in the mouth.” The Underworld is converse to the dayworld, and so its behavior will be obverse, perverse. What is merely shit from the daytime perspective – or what Freud called day-residues – becomes soul food when turned upside down. The way we go about there, the way we ruminate, even logic is stood on its head, for there our heads are in another place. (In Chapter 6 we shall look at some contemporary examples of this “upsidedownness,” including excrements in dreams.)Might there be an archetypal figure within Freud’s “day residues” that are the material of the dream? Could these leftover scraps refer to the household garbage that was sacrifice to Hekate (Cults2:515)? Hekate has long been implicated in dream interpretations. Both the magical view that considers dreams to be foretellings and the nineteenth-century mechanistic view that attributes them to waste products of physiological sensations (garbage) show Hekate’s influence when she becomes equated with Nyx (night), as in Spenser and at times in Shakespeare, then dreams become her province and our interpretative ideas reflect her perspectives.We may continue this tradition, although in a different manner. Yes, the dream is made of scraps that belong to the Goddess who makes sacred the waste of life, so that it all counts, it all matters. Offering the dream to “the mysteries of Hekate and the night” (King Lear, act 1, scene 1) means giving back the regurgitations that “come up” in dreams without attempts to save them morally or to find their dayworld use. The junk of the soul is primordially saved by Hekate’s blessing, and even our trashing ourselves can be led back to her. The messy life is a way of entering her domain and becoming a “child of Hekate.”Our part is only to recognize that there is a myth in the mess so as to dispose of the day residues at the proper place, that is, to place them at Hekate’s altar. Ritually, the garbage was placed at night at a crossroads so that each dream may lead off in at least three directions besides the one we have come from. Hekate, who has traditionally been represented with three heads, keeps us looking and listening in many ways at once.Because the underworld differs so radically from the underground, that which has its home there, dreams, must refer to psychic or pneumatic world of ghosts, spirits, ancestors, souls, daimones. These are invisible by nature, and not merely invisible because they have been forgotten or repressed. This world is fluid, or dusty, fiery, muddy, or aetherial, so there is nothing firm to hold to – unless we develop intuitive instruments for seizing impalpables that slip through our fingers or burn at the touch.By locating the dream among these impalpable fundamentals in Hades, we will begin to find that dreams reflect an underworld of essences rather than an underground of root and seed. They present images of being rather than of becoming. We will learn that a dream is less a comment on life and an indication as to where it is growing, than it is a statement from the chthonic depths, the cold, dense, unchanging state – what we so often today call psychopathic because, as Freud saw, the dream does not show morality, human feelings, or the sense of time. We can no longer turn to the dream in hopes of progress, transformation, and rebirth.I think too that the underworld teaches us to abandon our hopes for achieving unification of personality by means of the dream. The underworld spirits are plural. So much is this the case that the di manes (underworld spirits), who were the Roman equivalent of the Greek theoi chthonioi, have no native singular form. Even individual dead persons were spoken of plurally, as di manes. “The ancient Egyptian was thought to live after death in a multiplicity of forms, each of these forms was the full man himself”(Ba, p. 113). The underworld is an innumerable community of figures. The endless variety of figures reflects the endlessness of the soul, and dreams restore to consciousness this sense of multiplicity. The polytheistic perspective is grounded in the chthonic depths of the soul. A psychotherapeutic emphasis will be upon the disintegrative effects of the dream, which also confronts us with our moral dis-integrity, our psychopathic lack of a central hold on ourselves. Dreams show us to be plural and that each of the forms that figure there are “the full man himself,” full potentials of behavior. Only by falling apart (RP, pp. 53-112) into the multiple figures do we extend consciousness to embrace and contain its psychopathic potentials.We get into difficulties when we try to read the deep chthonic level from the viewpoints of Demeter or of Ge. To perceive the chthonic with Demeter’s eyes is to take the dream as signal for literal action and to translate it with naturalistic ethics into a moralized world. To take a dream as containing an immoral implication or a moral indication for setting matters right and redressing a balance is to read it from the Ge-Themis-Dike perspective. Perhaps we need the intervention of another lady of the underworld, Hekate, who was especially adept with ghosts, who both brought and banned fear, and who had nothing to do with the round of human life (marriage, birth, agriculture), herself without brother or sister or any descendants. “Her worship was without morality.” Hekate’s underworld perspective reaches to the chthonic depth of the dream, which, on the one hand, is a simple statement of essence – how spectral things look when stripped of their human context – and, on the other, elicits our psychopathy. The region of the soul in which dreams have their home is deeper than flesh-and-blood urges, which we have been, mistakenly, calling chthonic, as if it were the same as natural, as if the underworld referred to ira and cupiditas, the blood-soul, the thymos. This all is earthy; the natural, physical, somatic soul of emotions. Our modern word unconscious has become a catch-all, collecting into one clouded reservoir all fantasies of the deep, the lower, the baser, the heavier (depressed), and the darker. We have buried in the same monolithic tomb called The Unconscious the red and earthy body of the primeval Adam, the collective common man and woman, and the shades, phantoms, and ancestors. We cannot distinguish a compulsion from a call, an instinct for an image, a desirous demand from a movement of imagination. Looking into the night from the while light of the dayworld (where the term unconscious was fashioned), we cannot tell the red from the black. So, we read dreams for all sorts of messages at once – somatic, personal, psychic, mantic, ancestral, practical, confusing instinctual and emotional life with the realm of death. The pronounced distinction between emotion and soul, between emotional man and psychological man, comes out in another of Heraclitus’ fragments (85): “. . . whatever it [thymos] wishes it buys at the price of soul.” Thymos, the earlier Greek experience of emotional consciousness or moist soul, did not belong in the underworld. So, to consider the dream as an emotional wish costs soul; to mistake the chthonic as the natural loses psyche. We cannot claim to be psychological when we read dream image in terms of drives or desires. Whatever counsel an analyst gives about emotional life, supposing it drawn from dreams, refers to his experience, which he reflects from the dreams. It is not in the dreams. He is “sup-posing” about them, that is, he is “putting onto” them what he knows about life. What one knows about life may not be relevant for what is below life. What one knows and has done in life may be as irrelevant to the underworld as clothes that adjust us to life and the flesh and bones that the clothes cover. For in the underworld all is stripped away, and life is upside down. We are further than the expectations based on life experience, and the wisdom derived from it. Again, we can follow Heraclitus (frg. 27): “When men die there awaits what they neither expect nor even imagine.” The word translated here as “expect” is related in Greek to “hope” (elpis), so that the specific hope that is abandoned (Dante, Inferno 3) on entering the underworld perspective is the fantasy of daylife expectations and flesh-and-blood illusions. Souls in Hades are “incurable” said Plato. There is no alteration to be hoped for. Such hope would be hope for the wrong thing. We need more the hope of St. Paul, which is a hope of invisibles and for invisibles, than the hope of Pandora, who, as the wife of Prometheus, contains a hidden hope, which he makes evident in his mission to help mankind. To go deep into a dream requires abandoning hope, the hope that rises in the morning and would turn the dream to its purposes. At the Hades level of the dream there is neither hope nor despair. They cancel each other out; and we can move beyond the language of expectations, measuring progressions and regressions, ego strengthening and weakening, coping and failing.Let me once more try to draw this distinction between the underground of vital, emotional life and the underworld Heraclitus said (frg. 15): It it were not in honour of Dionysus that they conducted the procession and sang the hymn to the male organ, their activity would be completely shameless. Hades and Dionysus are the same, no matter how much they go mad and rave celebrating bacchic rites in honour of the latter. The passage has given scholars – those who accept this phrasing at all – so much trouble partly because it juxtaposes, even identifies, the very different realms we are keeping distinct: psychic essences and emotional nature.This fragment refers to the mystery of a sacred procession and it must be read with a similar reverence, even as a revelation of something profound in acts that seem shamelessly pornographic, raving, and mad. It is therefore not enough to pass it off with a moral generality, as some interpreters do, that Heraclitus means that even the wildest life forces also lead to death, or let it go by, as other interprets do, as another of his metaphysical generalities about the sameness of life and death (frgs. 62, 88). We are still left with the vivid imagery of this mystery in the sexual language that is so fundamental to psychology. So, Heraclitus, as one psychologist to another, across the centuries I read you to be saying that for this troublesome distinction between emotion and soul, between the perspective of vitality (Dionysos) and the perspective of psyche (Hades), sexual fantasy holds a secret. In what seems most evident, public, and concrete, there is also something covered in shame, hidden and invisible.The Hades within Dionysus says that there is an invisible meaning in sexual acts, a significance for soul in the phallic parade, that all our life force, including the polymorphous and pornographic desires of the psyche, refer to the underworld of images. Things in life, no matter how full of life, are not only natural. Dionysos is also a “downer.” We may believe we are living life only on the level of life, but we cannot escape the psychic significance of what we are doing. Soul is made in the rout of the world. What has meaning for life has meaning for soul at the same moment, so consider you living in the light of the Hades within it.The other side of the mysterious identity, the Dionysos within Hades, says that there is zoe, a vitality in all underworld phenomena. The realm of the dead is not as dead as we expect it. Hades too can rape and also seize the psyche through sexual fantasies. Although without thymos, body, or voice, there is a hidden libido in the shadows. The images in Hades are also Dionysian – not fertile in the natural sense, but in the psychic sense, imaginatively fertile. There is an imagination below the earth that abounds in animal forms, that revels and makes music. There is a dance in death. Hades and Dionysos are the same. As Hades darkens Dionysos toward his own richness. Farnell describes their fusion as a “mildness joined with melancholy.”
DREAMTIME Hostel of Medicated Girls April 20, 2005
I am going away for a trip but it seems like a Mission I am on….and I am packed lightly and in such a way that it seems I am ‘roughing it’. I end up at this place like a hostel….I go around the back….there is a wee boy planting stuff in a big Garden. I am watching him, when two men come out. One of the men reminds me of Lemmy from Motorhead. The men tell the boy that he has planted too many plants, too close together. But I am walking through the garden and I think he has done a great job. There is loads of cabbage and green leafy veg….and most of it is already tall and blooming. Some are still ripening. I am talking to the two men then and they are giving me advice about the ‘Hostel’. I am also asking them about the Garden. I see Fennel and am asking the men if that is what it is, they say ‘Yes, it is very good for you’. I say ‘I love Fennel’. I am thinking the whole time that they are very Down-To-Earth guys and wonder how they ended up here…..in a wee hostel….planting a beautiful Garden.
There is a fence on the side of the Garden…..and when I look over past it I see that there are many different Gardens all in separate enclosures. I think to myself it is great that the Hostel has room for Gardens and wonder if the 2 men work in all of them, or just this one. At this point I am laying in the garden and have a blanket over me…….still talking to the men, one on each side of me. The ‘Lemmy’ man seems upset about something and reaches into one of the other Gardens, through a hole in the fence, and pulls out a large Golden Coin, and gives it to me, to use at the Hostel. I thank him. We are out there for quite some time, in the lush Gardens. At some point I see a small growing plant and as what it is…..one of the men says something….then says ‘no, that’s just a weed’. I leave the plant though, not wanting to pull it. As I lift the blanket up, I realize that in the process I have bent over two different plants…..A Flower, and some kind of Vegetable. I prop the Flower up so that it will heal, and stick the broken stem of the vegetable back into the mound of plants so it will re-root. I feel bad for messing them up. I say goodbye to the men, and leave to check in to the Hostel.
On the outside of the Hostel I see a bunch of numbered doors…..in sections. I seem to have been given a certain key/section and am trying to find it. There is a sign on a door that says SISTERHOOD/BROTHERHOOD….and I go inside and see an area where secondhand clothes are hanging and for sale. I go to the counter to check in, etc. There are Girls everywhere. They all seem to be ‘outcasts’ in some way. It almost feels like I am in some kind of ‘crazy house’. But I check in anyway, and decide only to check in for a total of 3 Days….I don’t know how long it will take me to accomplish my Mission, and I do not want to pay for more time Here than I need to stay. I am speaking with the woman at the desk for awhile and sorting it all out....the payment etc. All the girls seem to be watching me. It ends up costing 25Pound (GBP)…and I hand her green Dollar Bills(USD) and they are all out of order…?...this does not seem to be acceptable payment. Then I remember the Gold coin that I was given in the Garden, and I hand it to the woman….it is worth exactly 25Pound. Its very heavy and a bright Gold….She is happy to get the coin, and I take back the dollars. She gives me a room number.
I am then with all the girls, and they are very loud and rowdy and it seems that almost all of them are there against their Will. I ask for a toilet and accidentally go into the Mens room….decide to try and pee anyway…but an older man who is kind of spooky and weird comes in and gets really close to me….so I run out and find the girls bathroom. There are a few toilets out in the open. I have already defecated and now need to take a piss……and I see some toilets that are actually enclosed so I make my way to them instead of the others. The bathroom is not very clean. I go into one stall that has a drain in the floor….and a sign that says ‘ONLY HOT WATER DOWN DRAIN’….I decide that pee is quite warm and so I squat and am going to pee….the door to the stall is half open….and the stall is very large. A girl peeks under the door to see if the stall is occupied….then leaves. Then another girl closes my stall door so that no one can see inside. I am still squatting above the drain trying to pee. The girls all seem very curious about me.
Next thing I know I am making friends with a couple of the girls. Then we all get on a big bus, to go on some kind of group Trip….I am asking someone something about Warrenton….I think that I see my highschool boyfriend JD on the bus, but realize it is not him, the person is too small to be him. A girl who looks like Jennifer Ellison (actress) comes and sits down on my seat next to me. She is trying to be really tough. I have a rolled up picture/artwork in my hand….the picture that I drew for Mickey D…..and she grabs it and throws it out the open bus window…….but it comes right back in and lands in my hand. She is amazed. I say to her something about ENERGY….that I have the Healing Power….and that she cannot hope to do anything Negative to me. She is then intrigued and sits and listens….and like all the other girls has decided to be my friend. We stop at the destination which is another large Hostel-type building…. All the girls here are treated quite badly I have learned and it is more or less a crazyhouse. I decide I have to help them. The staff are friendly but manipulative. The girls are forced to take medications etc. We are all in a locker room….and the staff come in with all this Halloween Candy…..handing it out to the girls. I have the definite awareness/knowing that the candy is Medicated, and I have told the girls beforehand all about it….and that the reason they all think they are crazy is because they have been Fed that crap, and since the staff themselves are Unmedicated….they perceive all the girls to be Abnormal/Crazy because of the state they are in due to the consumption of the drugs/medications that are hidden in the candy. But now the Girls are ready to turn the tables….while the staff are handing out the meds/candy….I myself am accepting it too but sneaking a piece each in their back pockets(of the staff)….mostly tootsie rolls….somehow that means that they will find it later and end up consuming it themselves…..swallowing their own medicine. I say ‘let them see how it feels’. Then I still have a handful of candy and a staff member says something to the effect that it comes out of my room payment…or is added on to my bill??...I say ‘I thought it was free….a Gift?’….she says NO, it is not…and I throw the candy across the floor and say I do not want it. Then all the other girls Rebel too. They seem to be gaining confidence. I am happy about what I am doing. It seems that I am getting close to my Destination/where I was headed though and ready to check out………as it turns out I was the only one there who was there voluntarily.
I am in a bedroom somewhere and I can feel my belly wriggling around very actively. IT is different and I think ‘this is it, baby is coming’. Then a small snake is born and crawls from my vagina and out the bottom of my shorts to the floor! I am in awe, and find it strange at first but then I try to catch it and it crawls under the bed. When I look under the bed to see it, I has changed into a cloth snake, made of white fabric, and it seems to have a bit of patchwork and is sewn with thread and the eyes are sewn on etc. But it is moving around like normal. Then I grab it and look at it closely trying to figure out what it means. Next thing I know, it is a robot, with metal wires, and what seems to be microchips on it, all pieced together but a bit crudely. I think to myself that ‘Mother” has been experimenting again?!
I have been a Dreamer for as long as i can remember. For me, awareness in dreams has been my main form of meditation, if you want to call it that. My dreaming goes in cycles, as well. By journalling, you come to recognize your personal dream cycles and patterns, as well as the language of your Self.
I have catagories of dream, that i use to help determine at what level i am Dreaming. These may be different for everyone, because each person will have individual nuances to their way of working with energy and intent. Each level of dream has/is a specific frequency of vibration, and as you move thru these, it is like getting an energy tune-up. You will be unable to reach a level of awareness that your system cannot adapt to, or raise itself to............there are also very dense levels, and they can be hard to move within, and hard to keep your intent, becaseu, like this phys. plane, things are slow to take form and to manifest, and its easy to get caught up in the process, and forget you are dreaming. i liken this to our collective dreaming experience of the world in existence....we are on a quite dense level of interaction and thus we ahve forgotten we are 'dreaming'.
after working with dreams for a while, you will start to familiarize yourself with these energetic 'tones' of awareness, and soon be able to move within a vast network of channels and freqeuncies, etc, depending upon your own vibration and your intent....the more energy you can carry and transmute, and the higher and more charged your intent, the deeper you can go into the fabric that is everything. Like someone else mentioned, it can be scary and intense or too exciting when you first learn to 'wakeup' in Dreaming, and that can foil your efforts till you familiarize yourself with it. next comes learning movement within this realm, and this can take many different forms. everyone has their preference. next comes learning to maintain clarity and enhance clarity of consciousness. The above post mentioned SPINNING which is a technique i use as well; it re'collects my energy and gives me cohesion when i feel im starting to unravel and fade because i cant hold the vibration. You must be able to keep your sense of Self amid higher energies, or you can become overwhelmed. this is ok if you are seeking a healing or merging experience, etc, but to learn to navigate further and further, one must learn to bypass the desire to bask in the energy, and learn to circulate that energy thru their system in order to resonate with the 'environment' one is in. after stabilizing at that velocity, you raise yourself more. The environment and mood etc will depend upon the rate of vibration, and that is another way to track where exactly you are at and what sorta realm you are moving within. if you continue to go deeper there will come a point at which it is too painful/intense/ to hold consciousness, because your system cannot yet hold the energy you need in order to stay coherent in that specific 'tone'.
I have found that I become depleted and weak for a little while after an experience where i have stayed 'too long' at too high a rate for me to transmute.......(i hope im making sense in this post).....
These are all things that i have learned thru my experiences. The best way to start to practice is, as stated elsewhere in the thread, your intent and dedication and energy. Journals are, for me, something i couldnt do without when it comes to dreaming. Has anyone seen 'butterfly effect'... where the guy reads thru his old journals and taps into that 'moment', thats something i use my journals for, going back to a specific dreammomentvibration, becaseu it exists still, and it will go on existing, and has parallels, just like this waking consensus reality. To use your past dreams as portals into specific states is a great meditation tool as well. Once you are able to induce the Lucid Dreaming more or less at will(this will go in cycles too), you are ready to take serious study of the activities you participate in on that level. Just like when we are awake in this phys. reality and must make choices with what we want to use our energy on, the same takes place in Dreaming. you have, as paul would say, a quantitative amount of energy, and when it is 'spent' for the time being, your will be unable to hold conscious awareness......so what you do in your dream after you reach awareness is important to your developing skill. if you waste the energy in habitpattern reactions, which are just as common on the dreamplane as 'here', you lose energy. When you spread your focus too thin or get carried away by details, you can lose energy. Whenever you make a truthrealization however, you tend to get an energy boost. Learn to work with your environment and its energy and quality of energy. determine what you want to get out of the situation, and the whole practice, and devote your energy to the things that will most help you actualize what you are trying to do. Some people thrive in certain energies that others dont. find the atmosphere and experiences that resonate with you, and act according to your SelfsTruth. If you can maintain Integrity of Self you can Dream higher and deeper than you ever thought. Its all about the energy and intent, and focusing that energy in the proper channels of the moment.
I like to have variety, so sometimes i set myself a specific goal or objective, and try to fulfill that creatively in the dream...other times i just follow whatever dreamwave that i find myself in and play a very receptive role. If you want to set a task for yourself, you can try writing it down, in words that are recognizable and powerful to your subconscious, and meditating on it, then putting it under your pillow. If you can awaken then, you will remember your task and decide whether you want to engage with it.
Another thing that someone pointed out is the times at which we sleep. when you are already rested, you tend to dream mo;re lucidly, becasue your body doesnt need that extra energy to refuel itself and take care of itself physically, which means that awareness is available to your dreamingbody. try taking naps in the afternoon or whenever, and record your experiences. see whether there is a difference in quality between those dreams and your nightdreams.
Dreaming is the most natural connection we have with our own spiritual nature. It is there to be developed and used for a reason. Now that the taboo of dreams etc is lessening in our cultures, more and more people aer 're-membering' and reconnecting with that essential part of our existence.
I hope i havnt rambled incessently here, or spoken in terms that dont make sense. everyone has their own way of speakingthedream, so i hope i have been somewhat clear!
This info is solely from my experience. Im always looking for new techniques and ideas and perceptions on these processes....and thought books and the like are great for familiarizing yourself with the territoryand possibilities, they cant make your Dreampractice for you.
The twitch of Dreamtime As stitched open eyes Find Time To cope with Spaces deep inside
I am full with Child Ripe with fruit Nerves on fire With the desire To open the womb And carry thru This seed of truth
Where and when and how Did the germination Take place? I can’t seem to remember The breath of Grace That spoke to me That broke the hymen And woke the seed
My belly is swollen And round The active fractal Of self within The shroud Tumbles around with forceful Kicks As I wander thru psyches Maze of bricks Trying to be found
It is Time
In this Space
Just like in waking life So many moons ago A nodal cycles synodic flow
Sudden fear For just a moment Can I open wide enough To deliver the Numen Can I bear the terror Of this movement As the veil tears And bares The burden Of Being Human?
Do I push It thru Or does It Split me In Two Into New Moons And Minds As Daimons ride The wave with me… Cry out in pain with me… Wade thru stains Of bloody chains That break when the waters Pour out of me ?
Breathe Let go It’s so Real I Feel It burst thru Huge Alive Wide eyed And thriving Outside Of Me
My Goddess….! ….The Beauty The Wonder the Wisdom Of Womans Body Alethias forgotten Melody My God…..! ….My God Thou hast christened me Theos unLoosed From crystalline Seams.
Now to nurture At the breast Turn blood to milk Like water to wine As I climb inside The feathered nest Of the divine
I remember Then The Name of him From which This body Born from me Was given the spark From electric seed
Full exposure Nowhere to hide The sight of the light And the scope of the size Of this daimon in dream This daimon in me This playful parade Of uncertainty Birthing me From within
A mirror of matters magical Twins As Mater and Pater Outside and In join At the hip And dance and spin Deliciously tangled In SineWave Grins.
The Stitch of Dreamtime As twitching I~s Rewind Time In Spaces opened from Inside..
Charleen Johnston 7-26-2024
(Based in last nights vivid dream of pregnancy and giving birth)
At this moment, I am in the middle of my EXACT Uranus opposition……not only that but I have an almost exact natal Uranus/Sun Conjunction in first house Scorpio….so the Sun is being activated at the same time. They are all squaring my natal nodal axis in Leo/Aquarius (a wide orb of 11 degree)….among other transits. I almost always have strong vivid dreamtime and experiences, but over the years I have tracked that there are certain transits that bring very particular energies. And so out of curiosity I started to browse old journals, and noticed the amount of snake/serpent dreams I was having…and realized it was during the time of my Uranus SQUARE natal Uranus/Sun. AT the nadir of my chart. For the past 8 months I have been undergoing rapid transformations once again, reminding me of the period between 2001-2003 when I felt like I was also plugged into a quantum computer…..Kundalini going crazy…..having to ground the energy, feeling my life was at stake. So only using those couple years between 2002 and 2005 as my search vector, I went thru my archives and looked for all the dreams that referenced snakes, and then copy- pasted them here in order. For my own research, and for things I will use in the future as part of a larger project. (I am only up to Jan.21, 2006 date in Dream archive process, of typing all my dream journals into the computer!!!!!! I have 18 years left to transfer….haha….though there were a few large gaps of time wehre I was not keeping dream records, there are many more thick journals filled with adventures to go through. And the later journals get more and more detailed. Such gratitude for having undertaken this discipline so long ago….records of my subconscious alchemical processes for my entire adult life.
April 17, 2002
(Serpent Transformation)
Dreamed of Snakes. AT some point I turn into a snake. It is not a frightening dream but feels spiritual.
October 3, 2002
‘Coiled Snake Explodes’
I can only piece a few fragments together now. At a house with a lot of people, I apparently put out a joint roach in a Large Coiled Snakes mouth; Then I leave the room. As I am walking out, I Know that something is going to happen. I hear an Explosion and go back into the kitchen where the snake had been on the table. There is blood and guts all over everything. I am trying to clean up the mess.
Scene Shifts.
I am in the bathroom in my house and some guys are outside. One keeps opening the door while I am trying to use the bathroom. Finally I go outside and Gracie Ju Jitsu him to the ground!
November 19, 2002
(Focaccia Bread)
I am with mom, granny and Julia for the most part, and together we go many places. Granny is driving. At one point we are in some shop ordering stuff. We have a good exchange with the guys behind the counter. I am saying how the one guy looks like someone I know. They all seem to like us. There is someone else with us too, Julias friend? They seem to know them. I am acting very outrageous…silly and uncaring of what I say or do. The we are in this place again getting food. I ask to see menu and am reading the ‘dream text’. But I am thinking the place was like ‘Zoo’ down the street, with crepes. I ask for a bunch of berries in a sundae or something, but they say they have no water, so they cannot wash the berries! So I ask for spinach and extra feta in a pita or crepe. They say they don’t have it….say thay have focaccia bread. The whole time, I can see them cooking stuff. It is dark outside I go out thinking they are making my food. I get in the car and Julia is like ‘here, drink it quick!’ and has a small portion of milkshake. She acts as if it has alcohol in it, and she doesn’t want mom or granny to know. So we are waiting in the car for my food. Then we see the whole group of people who work there come outside as if they are partying. So we leave after I ask about my food and they have not made it. We are then driving up main street and I say something to the effect that there is nothing exciting or good to look forward to anymore, the way the world is. My mom says that being with Family is worth it. I then agree. We pull into Family Convenience store on the ‘hill’ to get something. I see Mandy Doruth in gas attendant uniform. We go in and it is now a snake place….with cages of snakes everywhere. I walk to the back and am looking at a white and black one. Then there is a loose one, big…and it spooks me and I run to the front, after jumping over another loose snake in the store. I tell the man I am nervous unless I know where the snakes are in relation to me. Seems we leave then. All the time in the dream there are many people around, familiar and unfamiliar. I was very boisterous and loud in dream.
I am in my bedroom and there are other people with me. A snake appears from somewhere/or someone has it with them. It is striking at the leg of the girl but I put my arm down to block the bite, so I get bit on the hand instead. The snake is clinging to my hand and it is starting to swell. It is a rattlesnake and I just know something serious has happened. Then, as if the dream fades for 9 months, I realize I am having a baby. I actually give birth! My mother is there and my sister. I want them to help me with the child. I am nervous about it. But as soon as it comes out and opens its eyes it begins speaking. Not perfectly, but good enough; and it seems it knows another language also. I am thrilled about this because I have been telling mom (in waking life) that babies were going to be born fully conscious, etc. She is amazed. So I have the baby and I am taking care of it. I flip out occasionally, worried I am not taking good care of it. The baby is absolutely beautiful! She has my eyes, they are huge and blue and she seems so spiritual. (I remember at some point looking at my breasts and feeling afraid that I wont be able to produce milk to feed the baby).
December 18, 2002 *In Ireland for Visit*
(River of Life)
I am at a river most of the time. There are lots of other people around, all having fun. Reminds me of a picnic. I am in and out of the water. At one point, I am out in the river and an older woman comes out but has trouble swimming…so I get her on some flotation thing and swim her in….halfway there Julia and another girl are swimming out and have brought some long float boards so I transfer the woman onto one of them and float her back to the bank. I am swimming then underwater and It is dark and I swim into a bunch of animals or something, they are furry and I can feel them on my face….they are kissing me! I am telling people about it when I swim back. Also, on a small dock there is something to do with a fat man. Im not sure what he is doing, maybe fishing, but when he turns his back I push him into the water! I am climbing the steep wooded embankment and at the top is a road. I am walking, when Sarah Holsinger and someone, maybe Annie Judy…come up with a volleyball. She hits it to me and I bump it back and we start to pepper with the ball. The ball almost goes down the bank but I manage to grab it. At some point Beefy is on the road with me and someone else, perhaps Julia, and we see a black snake and a copperhead crawling into the bushes. Good energy in the dream.
December 23, 2002 *Ireland for a visit*
(python snake)
Long vivid night of dreams but lost upon waking. All I can recall is that I had a huge python snake, and I can vividly recall the feeling of his scales when I would hold him.
February 9, 2003
(Rickson Commits Suicide)
Rickson, my snake, is in the pocket of my sweatshirt and is squirming around pretty aggressively. I notice him in there and pull him out but he begins to bight me and jump around. He doesn’t seem well, and is breathing hard. I decide he needs water. I put him up to a water bowl and he lifts his head up and is drinking when he stars swallowing his own tail, like the ouruborus! I don’t know how his tail gets in the water but it is. I feel he is trying to kill himself, in a way…..I pull the tail back out of his mouth.
NOTE: Feb. 10th, 2003 Rickson disappeared. I looked everywhere.
Further Note: Never saw the snake again, and went to stay with Liberty In June for her birth. While there, Beefy said Rickson came out of a hole in the bathroom, and was HUGE!!!!! HE had been living in the walls etc I guess, eating stuff. He ended up disappearing again though. Never to be seen again.
March 15, 2003
(Green Mamba)
I am messing with a big green mamba snake. It almost bites me but I catch its head with my fingers…it is moving around chaotically, when finally it slips through and bites my finger. I then start trying to smash its head between my fingers.
*note from the morning(‘the beginning of the great work?)
March 16, 2003
(PJ, Snakes & Rickson)
I keep finding my snake Rickson, and he keeps following me! Something about a huge Black and white snake too…PJ has been sitting in some twigs near a tree and I tell him to move ….that there is a huge snake.
April 14, 2002
(snake swallows fist)
*First part of dream had something to do with me being led in Light Movement or something….filling in some structure????
*I cant recall where we were heading or what we were on our way to do. I keep trying to get Beefy to have sex with me though, when we are at different places. At one point there is a huge snake in the Water near me. It seems I know it, or something(the snake)? It swims over to me and I speak to it! It speaks back. It tells me it/I am warm? Then it puts its entire mouth around my fist, just for a second, then lets go…..it is friendly and gentle and I laugh and joke with it then it leaves. At some point a girl who is with us leaves to go camping with two other lesbian women…one of which reminds me of Susan(Lori&Melissas old friend). The guy who is driving us around is sort of goofy….and he apparently has a crush on me….and thought beefy and I were just messing around/didn’t know we were together. He drove me to the bus stop in Luray and dropped me off, after asking me about Beefy and I tell him we have been together for 3 years and in love. He is sad about that, but seems to hang around still. I am with someone on the dirt road near the bus stop. Then Jeremiah is talking to someone and says he called so-and-so because he likes to hear what they are up to….he says that is why he used to like to call me…???? Then me and Beefy are sitting and eating and Ms.Petefish is there, I am excited…talking about how I am going to win all-state in volleyball….I introduce Ms.Petefish to Beefy as my 9th grade vball coach, ‘the best!’. She speaks with us and asks If I remember her name…..I do…of course.
Beefy and I seemed to get along well through-out dream, flirty and sexual.
April 23, 2003
(Snakes and Crocodiles on my body/Swallowed fist)
*last recorded dream from april 14 also had snake swallowing fist **
I am in a hotel room or some kind of dorm. There are about 5 snakes/crocodiles in there…..seems they keep morphing between the two forms at different times. They are somewhat excited….and very quick, moving around. I am trying to catch them or something. One gets out below the door and I see the tail (crocodile) so I open the door quick and grab it. There are people in the hall, and they see me, and say something. I realize I am naked. I come back in the room and then realize the snakes are in my clothes, and crawling on my body. They take nibbles and touch me with their tongues….which produces a very intense tickling sensation, but pleasurable. I am dressed again apparently, and there is a very large Boa type snake in my shirt, and it swallows my fist….then lets go…..as if it is communicating with me or something. I am learning to control the snakes…..they are more calm now….I am playing with the larger one.
May 2, 2003
(Bit by Rattlesnake)
Dad and I are in his house, in the living room, messing with a beautiful rattlesnake. I am wary of this snake because of its seeming Power. I try to hold it or something….or maybe trying to remove it from house….and it tries to bite me. I am fumbling with it in my hands for awhile, as it tries to get away. I end up being very rough in handling it….and turns out I am bitten twice…just scrapes…on the pinkie and on other hand too. I feel dizziness taking me, and I tell someone I need help because of the bite.
May 11, 2003
(Rattlesnake bite in Heart)
I am in a room with other people and there is a Rattlesnake. It seems aggravated. There is a baby on the side of the couch and I dive for it so It will not get bit….and at that moment the snake strikes someone in the heart! I am not sure who. Dad is trying to handle it and get it away without getting bit, but it seems it did manage to get him….he says he thinks he got bit.
May 22, 2003
(OBE, Litter of Puppies,Teaching Beefy to travel, Snake)
I find myself in my astral body, parting from my physical in the bedroom. I am excited and anxious when I realize what is happening. Something happens that makes me come back to my body……and I awaken inside a dream. There is a litter of puppies- all sizes…miniature…in a little cloth bag on the bed. Beefy had found them first ….as I am trying to explain to him the experience of me being in my astral body….and then waking to find the puppies. We are trying to gather them up. We don’t know what to do with them…..since we are not allowed to have pets in the apt, and are worried about them. Rebecca asks if her and speedy can keep them. There are a bunch of people around then. I run into a man at one point who has a child, and I ask him if he would like a puppy and he says Yes!. I am then being annoying to others around me it seems. I am sitting outside with some people and Becca Quadri shows up. I run over and give her a hug and speak a bit. Then there is something going on with the McGoverns….Beefy is going somewhere with Margot….everything is confusing. There are huge 18 wheeler trucks too……me and someone else is in a box on the hood of one….??? Most of dream is exhilarating and I have good control of my emotional state.
Then I am singing in the back of a truck with others….on our way to somewhere unclear now. I am then trying to show Beefy how to Mentally Travel. We are standing and we hug each other. I have a small Joint. I tell him to concentrate and picture himself going up in the air. He does, and we float. I then tell him to picture the place he would like to land. When we actually land, he has morphed into Rick Sloan, and Ive lost the joint. I am asking and looking for it, but Rick says not to worry about it. He has weed. Seems we are at Elliottes house in Page Valley by now. I climb or float up to a bird nest in a pine tree and there is a baby snake in it…so I grab the snake. When Im back on the ground, the snake has become Huge, and wrapped around my left arm/wrist…..black snake….It bites my thumb but I just stroke its head and transfer love to it and it lets go. Then Rebecca or someone takes him from me, but isn’t being gentle and I think she gets bit. Seems we have some big purpose in the dream. Very sequential.
June 6, 2003
(Pot& Cops, Jaguar Chase, Coiled Snake)
I am in some store and trying to pick out an outfit…it is an adorable black and white skirt with pleats and a shirt etc. The lady only has size Small and I need a larger size. So I eventually leave the store. I am in a car with some people….with a bag Full of pot, and a smaller bag too. We get stopped by the cops. Somehow I sneak both bags into bookbag and give to Tish to take as she is getting out of the car to go home. The cops look but find nothing. They leave. I grab the pot and pocket it?? We see two girls, who help us with something. I give them a huge bud of pot.
Scene shifts. I am near some road/forest and walking along….I see a big cat, like a huge bobcat or a Jaguar. I begin to run and it is chasing me…I am running so fast!!!! It is closing in on me. I am not terrified but I know that I do not want it to catch me. I try to divert it and go up a tree but it doesn’t work. I do not know how I finally escape.
I am then walking in the forest with some people and see two young children crouched down in a path leading up the mountain. There is a rattlesnake curled up with mouth open ready to strike. The kids know better than to move…..and I start walking up to see them, but they yell to stop me. That’s when I see the snake in the path. I distract the rattlesnake until it sorta chases me down the hill and away from the kids. I throw a stick on it and then put my boot on it. It seems to be a small baby rattlesnake. I reach down and pick it up by the head. I remove the snake from everyones presence and we continue on our way. The kids are grateful.
I felt confident.
June 18, 2003
(Notes/fragments)
*Mom cutting fingers off herself in someones beautiful kitchen
*Issabella bit by snake, the neighbor says…..but she was really bit by Jacob, and had to get lower lip removed.
*Tattoo ladys office
*Drive somewhere….see ship sailing in the sky….across the moon (like ET)….I try to take black&white photo but someone who is driving (mom?) keeps backing up and pulling forward and I cant get pic
*Cop passes us
*Can see girl climbing in the window of a huge house
July 2, 2003
(Lester talks about Dad and Pig/Snake)
I am on a bus with others, and Lester Addison is complaining that Dad is more willing to mess around with and possibly get bit by a rattlesnake than play with his pig? Apparently Lester gets a whole big issue started over this.
Then I am in a store with Mom, and bus is waiting outside for us. I am acting very outrageous and silly because I realize I am dreaming.
July 12, 2003
(Garter snake swallowed by cobra/kidnap)
Many people and much activity. I fly a lot in the dream, doing tricks in the air etc. I find a baby garter snake and catch him. He stays with me and is licking me like a cat. It leaves some kind of residue on my hand. Then he is crawling and I follow him and he gets swallowed by a large white cobra snake!
Scene shifts.
There is a man kidnapping an old rich woman in her car……he has a gun to her head…and he asks another man and woman from another car for a ride….?? They realize something is wrong though, and try to drive off. I am perceiving from another perspective though……birds eye….3 cars all wired together??
Scene shifts.
I am in Luray high school and going to the bathroom….it is a single room bathroom with 3 or 4 toilets and a mirror. A girl comes in talking about someone….last name ‘Darnell’…and I say that I know her….a Reporter……she verifies and says the girl came up to her and knew everything about her, even which kind of moisturizer she wears. Then we leave the bathroom and there is an empty shopping cart I am pushing. I joke about being an old bag lady, then I go downstairs on the back of the shopping cart….everyone laughing. I seem to be popular and well esteemed.
July 16, 2003
(Rickson Needs Food)
Dreamed about Rickson, my snake. He seems to change sizes throughout dream. He seems to be weak also. I remember thinking it must have been a really long time since I had fed him….then I am looking for something to feed him. We are listening to some guy speak somewhere outside…..there are a lot of people around. I am digging up potato bugs and grubs and stuff, throwing them in his cage, but he will not eat them. I stick my face close to him and he kisses me! He is talking to me also, but what he says is unclear. He also bites my finger at one point, but not out of maliciousness….and he lets go quickly. I feel anxious to feed him, and a bit sad.
Dreamed about my snake Rickson. I am near Jeremiahs old camper at dads house. I see him partly beneath the ground and I move the dirt and pick him up. Seems he has some sort of blisters or bubbles on his head. Then later I get him again from the ground and he is really fat in some spots as if he has just eaten. Again he doesn’t seem to be completely healthy.
Something about the show Jeopardy. A woman contestant on the show….has brought about 6 of her best girlfriends. They are all very beautiful. Then as if I am watching movie, they are rollerblading down these huge steps like a coliseum or something. I think how dangerous it is and how good they are at it. One is rail sliding all the way down. At the bottom they are asking if everyone is there. It is a sandy beach now. Then it seems we are on a very small island. Liberty is there. She is pregnant. Also something building. Dad is there building some sort of little house with stones or something. I can see the island birds eye view at one point and think how small it is. I am then with Liberty and we are trying to find some place for her to give birth…but first I find a toilet so I can use the bathroom. It is in a room that Tom Petty had stayed in on vacation. Liberty ends up laying down on a table a has someone pull out an egg from her…..it is about the size of two fists. She is relieved. It is on an umbilical cord. She breaks the shell and wipes off the yellow and white stuff inside and a tiny baby is inside. She is saying he felt better now, and it would be easy now. The baby is curled up with umbilical still attached. She lays him on her lap and rests. It is beautiful.
September 30, 2003
(Beach and Pool and Stallions)
I am with Beefy at a beach surrounded by a forest. We meet a man and woman who seem really cool. I find at one point that I am away from them and trying to find Beefy, but I have a backpack and I find it really hard to walk…..especially up a large hill that I am struggling with. I eventually find them again. Brandi Majeski is there with them now. Her and Beefy are talking to the couple we met about Hash, and how much money could be made by sending some to Jeremiah to sell. They are talking weights and money etc. I am annoyed for some reason. I feel like I am mad at Beefy and giving him a bit of the silent treatment. At one point I see a man working in the weeds, and I go down and there is a Coral Snake or similar, half buried in the grass. I just look at it and note its beauty and the red marks/pattern on it.
Scene shifts.
We are now at mom and dads house and there is a swimming pool in the spot where Jeremiahs camper used to be. There are a lot of people around now, wanting to swim. We are swimming and I get aggravated for some reason and leave. I then go into moms house after smoking a joint. I hear mom say that Julia is a bitch when she doesn’t get her way, or something like that. I want to go talk to Julia so I go outside. I have a joint roach in my hand and throw it down. I am then over in the weeds doing something, and I lose my black shirt??….in the brush….but I am weary of digging around because there may be snakes. So I am hanging on a tree reaching down when a man playing an instrument of some kind, brings the shirt to me from the brush below! I say Thank You and then go to look for Julia. She is at the pool. We are swimming, joking around about throwing each other in. I am going to do some flip or something , but jump off diving board and just land feet first. Then Julia jumps and lands outside of the pool on her side, she jumped right over the pool. She says ‘that’s sorta dangerous, huh?’
Then there are tons of people around again. There is a fat girl there too. And the couple we had met at the beach, who are laying on the diving board in the way. Which upset me for some reason. I am then chasing someone, I believe it is cindy doruth, through the forest, for doing something.
Somebody drops an orange in the pool and I jump up and dive straight in and grab it with my foot, and swim back up laughing…and give it away. I am moving people away from the diving board, telling them that they must respect the rules since we are responsible if anything happens. The people are somewhat mad at me.
Something happens and I am trying to get a huge white stallion untied….he is outside our house. I get him loose somehow but I am afraid of him. So I climb fence where piggles pen is, but there is a huge dark stallion in the cage. I climb high up near a tree but he is standing on the fence and is huge….right next to me. There must be some kind of mission or something, because the Dark Stallion says he will ride with the White Stallion….and off they go.
January 1, 2004
(Copperhead and Rickson)
Julia has a pet copperhead snake. It seems tame, but I hold it and it bites a few times. We know it is a symbol of Power and Transformation. The bites do not hurt, and I ‘know’ that I can ‘handle it’. It is an amazing creature. We decide it must not be poisonous anymore…? Julia has a glass aquarium for the snake, and I see that Rickson is laying in it. I am excited because I missed Rickson the snake!
April 10, 2004
Partying at Mansion with friends and family/Man with Snake/Some Lucidity
I am in some kind of city, partying or something. I am in a house that is either Beefys, or a relative of his…we are staying there. Our room is near the attic…..up the stairs and around and around. It is a huge mansion of a house. There is a man, an uncle to Beefy?, but he never comes down to talk to us. I am waiting for Beefy to get dressed so we can go out. Marya Williams and Chrissy George show up. Everyone is drinking and smoking and having a laugh. I go outside somewhere to meet Julia and Jeremiah and PJ and others. They have also come to visit and want to go out. PJ has his head shaved, as does Julia….and Me!!! We all look much the same…..haunting beauty….but PJ has some kind of glass patch over his eye…with a painted eye piece on one part. If you look through the glass you can see that behind it is a torn up eye. I ask him about it, and he says you can see through to his skull if he doesnt wear the patch. He is tall and very handsome. I ask Chrissy and Mayra if they think we look alike…they say ‘exactly’. I feel I have to keep an eye on Julia. I keep warning her to stay with us, and to be careful with who she associates with. We are somewhere walking, but some of us have roller skates on while out on the town! I am a bit Lucid throughout the dream. We are going up the road, next to a house, and those of us in the back can see all the way up front that there is a truck pulled over. WE can see the man has a gun and Seamy is handing the man his wallet into the truck….he is being robbed!So I scurry around the other side of the truck…as if I dont know anything is going on. I see the license plate. At first I think I will try and punch the man but then decide he may shoot someone, so I get his license number….there are only three characters…W(3)R or something…The guy pulls away. There are lots of people around who had seen what happened. I repeat the tag number and ask if anyone has any change so I can phone the cops or something. Someone comes out and hands me a big bill, but I need change…and remember I have change in my purse. So I am fiddling with change etc There is a payphone next to me. I drop 5p and then try to look for it. Not sure if I ever managed to phone.
Scene shifts
We are back at the house we are staying at, or somewhere else. We are asking the barman there for drinks etc. Everyone is getting along great…having fun. Mayra and Chrissy are looking for gay clubs or something. Julia is wanting to party more too. There is something weird about Jeremiah. At one point he is sitting in a chair, giving me something out of his pocket, and it almost seems he is someone else. He is very quiet. Brandy is there too and at one point I have to make her quiet down because she is being so loud and obnoxious. Then I am out messing around the house by myself…Lucid at this point. There is a burrowed hole sorta on the right side of the house at the back…I am curious as to what it is used for….I have a sense of knowing that it has something to do with pedophilia. I nearly slip over the edge and down the hill but manage to climb over and get around to the other side. At this point the man in the truck has come back and he has a Snakelike thing…and the thing somehow had gotten Gollum down in the swamp behind the house. I go back to the house to get someone, perhaps Mayra, and show her how to Lucidly get down the cliff…by creating energy rope or something. We are down there …I see loads of animals down in the water and woods. I see the snake thing on the other side and I make my way over to it. Gollum cannot get away. I grab the snake thing and it seems to have rubber teeth?! Im wrestling with it…….then I become aroused and am thinking of it in sexual terms…the teeth become sharp and hard and trying to bite me but I get it in my hands. I get Gollum…..and tame the snake. By this time I am getting even more Lucid.
I am in a huge field…I am in charge of cultivating it and plowing it etc. Beefy is with me. At some point I am walking through the field….(is seems to be dark outside)…and I trip. While in the field I realize that it is very overgrown and there are brambles etc. I have neglected it I guess. I am sitting in tangles of weeds etc, which are flattened from use of the field. I think I see a snake moving under the grass. So I lay down very quietly and try to not move, so the snake will just pass me by. I am laying there and it is crawling alongside me. I can see a shadow of its head sorta sniffing around my face….but it just leaves. I get up and go on my way.
2nd dream: (Football on the hill/yoga and digestion/prizes/waiting to go home)
I am with my mom and dad and others, we seem to be sorting through foods and things….I use the ice cream scooper to scoop out some ice cream to take with me and back to beefy. I notice there are several types of scoopers in among moms spoons. They have funny tips that seem to be for draining water. I put ice cream in a tub for Beefy for later. Then I am playing with an american football….but we are throwing it around on the side of a very steep incline/hill….with forest at the bottom. Someone is making jokes about me. I throw the ball once and it doesnt spin right so it doesnt go very far. I say to someone I am definitely NOT going all the way down the hill to retrieve the ball. Then there is something involving a tanning salon….it is next to us…..there is a whole crowd of us sitting and waiting for prizes or something. While we are waiting, someone asks me if yoga does anything for people food-wise?? I go into a dissertation on how Yoga speeds up the metabolism and actually strengthens the digestive system. While I am telling the person this (a male), I say that Yoga is more of an internal beauty aide as opposed to salons and all….which are meant for external beauty. Something is said about Tan, and tanning studio, but unclear what. Then Martina Hoye is there, she is pouring tea for our table/group of people. I am sitting with Beefy. We are being handed out prizes for something. I am asking which ones I should get….and give to dad…which ones will he like? There is a mini-billiards table that folds out…and also a triangular billiard type game….a model of a ship/yacht….and an Old Clock….as well as other stuff. I want the Ship, for my dad. Then Beefy and I are talking about passports…I am looking at mine and realize I had been given two….each a bit different, but both are valid. One of them is brand new, and I show it to Beefy, and we decide to keep it and share it. It is very exciting news. I cant wait to ‘get home’ because I had saved food from moms house.
December 4, 2004
(snakes and spiders and bugs)
I am in mom and dads old bedroom in their cabin…it is the way they used to have it years ago. There are all these pet-style boxes and cages all stacked on top of each other on the old dresser that is sitting in the corner. It seems I am looking for all my creatures to put back into their glasses/cages etc…they are a in the bed and under the bed and all over the place. I keep looking for my snakes and then see one climbing under the covers , and pick it up. None of the creatures are ‘bad’, they all seem important to me, as well, and I am worried about leaving on out and it getting hurt or something. One of the worms is like a grub hybrid GlowWorm with yellow and it seems to have bright green on it as well. I know someone has grabbed him from the bed at some point, and I dont want to lose anything else. The spiders are like two siamese twins or something…attached somehow…two different halfs…they are all fuzzy like tarantulas and very big. They had been fed something that looked like cat food and had thrown it up. I am looking at it and thinking I need to clean it , but then I see they are eating the vomited food, but kinda fighting over it, strangely as they are still attached to each other. I feel very close to the creatures and playful, especially with the snakes, there are many and they are small. The room is dark and I cannot really see what colors they are.
December 30, 2004
(Fenrir the Wolf/Serpent Earrings/Old Man)
I am out in the forest, the trees and leaves are colored lovely. I can see a wolf running up this very steep hill and I hear a voice explaining to me about the speed and strength of the Wolf. I see that it notices me and comes running over. My first reaction is to assume it will harm me, so I climb a big tree with a long limb reaching out from the top. I climb up and the wolf seems to jump right up to where I am. Something happens and I end up on the ground, but the Wolf is a friend and is licking me and is a very beautiful grey wolf. I am thinking What a splendid creature it is. I keep thinking of Fenrir the Wolf.
Scene shifts.
I am in a room in a building and there are things laid out , as if it is a shop. I am walking around looking at the stuff. I see a pair of Golden Serpent Earring clips…..I pass them but then go back and grab them and put them in my pocket. The hang and together make two zigzags almost like lightening bolts. I think they are Special. I am then leaving and I hug this old white haired man who seems to have helped me, and who is my friend, very familiar. I go and sit with a circle of people then.
February 25, 2005
(Scouting for Sex Place/Snake/Arguing)
Beefy and I are walking up the street at night, trying to find a place to have sex. We find all these wee nooks etc, but I dont even consider them. They are just not up to comfort standard. In one, like a barn, we see what looks like a snake, but I think it cant be because there are supposed to be no snakes in Ireland….. But then we see that indeed it is. I am wearing my winklepickers boots. The snake appears to be a rattlesnake but it is dark so I am not sure. It crawls out and looks at us, righ tnext to my feet. I am sorta nervous but then I telepathically communicated to it that we rae not going to bother it and that we are on our way out. We leave. We keep looking for places and I feel like Beefys being an asshole to me…disrespectful. I realize while walking down the street that I only have my black underwear on and the winklepickers. I ask Beefy for the hat he is wearing and I use something else too to cover up my boobs and ass. We pass all sorts of people coming home drunk from somewhere. Beefy is talking to them and they all are looking at me. I feel like Jodi Marsh and it bothers me and I end up sorta going fof on Beefy for treating me with disrespect. AT one point I punch him in the stomach/chest and say in tears ‘I hate you’ but know that I dont and am just being melodramatic, which lasts awhile.
June 16, 2005
(Lucid /Young Boy/Sex with Footballer then Beefy/Snake)
I am being shown all kinds of images of a house, different ‘views’ of it. I become Lucid and go to a house, with a small boy, who looks like PJ did when little. We are in the house I had seen. I recognize the views and the fireplace. Seem the house is in some way related to Rita? Me and the boy are looking through a drawer and desk….for ??? We go through a jewelry box and find loads of earrings etc. We put it back. We are going through other wee boxes of stuff. A group of people come in, unsure who they are or why the are here. I decide Id like to have sex, because I am Lucid and have high energy arousal. I leave the young boy and end up at a high cliff overlooking a sea. It is stormy feeling. The people that were in the house somehow ‘bring’ me this massive Frankenstein style man…..we end up talking up on the cliff. I have been Lucid since entering the house, but I decide Id like to be more lucid or OBE, so I lay back and stretch and concentrate and focus on leaving my body. I am then plunging into darkness at a great speed and building my focus and diving straight down….gaining Lucidity. I eventually am ‘nearing the ground’ at a big city and next thing I know I am walking down the street. I see a bunch of guys playing football and I walk over and end up grabbing one and ‘flying him away’. I tell him I am dreaming and just want to have some sex. He is confused, but up for it. I pull him under a pine-like tree that is like a canopy and a wee cave, like in Lurgan Park. This is behind a big building. I go down on him and he says something about the Nerves in his body and head have never been that awake. I end up leaving him then and find Beefy, who had been eating spicy food somewhere. I hug him and tell him he is in my dream. He is nervous, and I then am standing in grass. He says ‘where did that come from’ and points to a black snake in the grass. I do something with my hand and the snake ‘comes to me’ through the air and is In my hand. Beefy is amazed and now believes me that he is in a dream with me. I bring the snake over to show my and convince him. I want to have sex with him. We do, and it is great. The energy is wonderful. I know I am dreaming and dont care who sees us., out int the middle of the park. Then I am masturbating over a railing and grab a shampoo bottle, a wee one, and use it to masturbate. Then I wake up.
Note* Same young boy I dreamt of many times, thinking it was either young pj or jacob…….i am sure was Oisin, who ended up looking very similar to them at young age.
July 20, 2005
(Dream 1: Tattoo of Head and Shoulders)
Beefy and I are in a strange apartment which is painted blue inside and shaped funny, very angular. I am drawing a picture of Beefy with Dreadlocks. Randy Arvallo from SF is there and is talking about heroin and his habit and explaining stuff to us. He shows us a new tattoo he got on his left forearm. It is part of a big muscley man. He is then explaining the tattoo he wants to get…right above it and sorta mixing in with it. I say it could be like the Head to go with the tattoo he has of the shoulders?Weird. I remember thinking I have done a good job on the picture drawing of Beefy.
Dream 2:
(At the Pond Bad Girl Smothered by Thorn Snake)
Beefy and I meet up with Fiona…but she is a hybrid of her and Becky Millman, but also a bit different than both?? We end up riding in the back of the truck to their house in the country. I am talking with her and others about all sorts of stuff. I see 3 CDs for a computer…they are all some kind of encyclopedia disks. I think she must use them for school. I go into a back room and Beefy and her father are leaning over into a cubby like space pretending to fix something….but really they are sniffing coke. The man is apparently in rehab but sneaking it behind his familys back. HE gets up and starts to leave the room and I see he has coke dust under/in his eye and I stop him and wipe it off so it is not obvious to others. I then go to Beefy and I am angry because he is sniffing coke. We have a small argument about it. I am then back in talking to Becky/Fiona girl, but it is now more Becky. She asks if we want to go swimming and we say Yes. We get ready and are going to an indoor pool but then decides to go to outdoor pool/lake because she says it is better…..snobby people go to indoor pools. She insinuates some of her friends are in that category. We are then swimming in the pond behind Christian Goebels old cabin. She is talking about some of her guy friends who like her more than ‘just friends’, but she does not return the adoration. Something strange is going on this whole time too. We end up in the back of the truck again with her father/family and down by the river bank. We see an old lady sitting and looking at the river. She has crisps etc to sell…we had seen her earlier in the dream also, but somewhere else. I see the father get a bundle and throw it in the river…and I realize it is a small black baby…apparently dead. I know they are up to some shady shit. I jump out of the truck and begin to walk away, up the hill which turns into Daryl Skinners road. Someone is with me and we are talking about what we have seen. We end up back down at the pond again. There is a girl sitting in a tree. She is ‘bad’ in some way, and behind all the negative stuff. There is a big green Snake with thorns all over it, and it begins to wrap around her smothering her. WE are kinda glad. WE run to tell the others. She ends up getting loose, and there is a Lion, a Tiger, and a Bear etc, all these ‘huge wild animals’ and they are friendly with me and some of the others but seem intent on destroying the girl??? This all takes place on the bank of the pond. It is all very strange. The feeling of petting the animals is amazing.
September 23, 2005
Dream 1: (Storm coming/Cloud Serpents)
I am at mom and dads house. There is a storm brewing. I feel it is going to be abad one. Dad is asking my opinion. I tell him we should leave because if we dont, the storm will hit directly and we might not survive. We had been planning to all drive to Harrisonburg, so I suggest we go and by the time we get back maybe the storm will have passed. It is very foreboding. No one listens though and everyone stays. I point at the sky which is getting very dark and covered by black storm clouds. This geos on a bit and then I go outside and look into the sky and see three cloud-like serpents…parallel…a blue, red, and green one. They seem to be ‘racing’ each other. It seems important, and, still foreboding. I run in and tell dad and everyone goes out to see. Then I am watching birds-eye view as truckers on a big highway are ‘chasing’ the cloud serpents…….as if they can catch them!?!
Dream 2: (Smashing Pumpkins and Letting Go)
I am as if in highschool again. I feel I am a bit gaudy and geeky. I meet the Smashing Pumpkins, and am hanging out with them. I seem to be good friends with D’arcy, and I have a big crush on Billy Corgan. Darcy is trying to hook us up, but she tells me maybe if I was fitter he would go with me. I know its just for a shag anyway. I am then in my underwear running down the dirt road, as if exercising. I am about to hook up with Billy Corgan…..but then something happens and I am grabbing hold of a truck that goes by on the road. I know I need to Let Go and jump off into the grass but I feel it is going too fast and I am nervous but also realize the vehicle is going to wreck soon. The Smashing Pumpkins are yelling for me to jump. The truck ends up going over a fence and about to crash to the ground and I let go and just hope that I am able to clear the truck and accident safely. I feel kinda like a kid in the dream.
Dream 3: (Amy comes in)
Beefy and I are in bed sleeping and we hear the door open and Amy comes in. She comes up into the bedroom and asks for me to help her do something, which I do on the floor, then she leaves.
October 31, 2005
Dream 1: (Snake while Blueberry picking)
I am walking around on the road above moms house picking blueberries. I am trying to hide from someone at the same time. The blueberries are weild and taste delicious. I think to myself that it reminds me of being a kid. I am then in the woods right next to the road, sort near where the old basketball hoop used to be. I am standing there and have the thought that I should watch for snakes. As I think that, I realize there is a snake under my feet under some leaves. I grab hold of a tree and pull myself up off of it, and to the side. The snake jumps up to the road. It is a beautiful copperhead type, but there are oragne markings mixed in between its other patterns. It is stunning. I end up at moms asking if it would have been a copperhead and describing the markings.
Dream 2: (Mucous plug)
Beefy and I are visiting someones house. It is large and fancy and it seems the McGoverns may live there. We are trying to tidy up the room we are in. It has wooden floors. I am trying to fold my clothes. I come into the room at one point and Beefy has all his clothes folded in piles everywhere, and I am a bit annoyed because he leaves stuff everywhere. One of the people we are staying with comes in, maybe Seamus McGovern, and I say I am trying to clean because the room is hectic. I am then outside and arranging two sculpture-like things, Art, like long tall abstract women figures. They havng from a wire rack, and I am moving them to a corner in the hall so they look good. Everyone keeps asking me about the baby and when I am due , I tell them I have been having contractions but dont feel them. Then I am in the bathroom on the toilet peeing and I notice int my underwear my mucous plug, it is huge and shaped funny. The more I look at it , the more it looks like a fetus…tiny….and I think maybe I had twins but one never grew, or something. I know then that labor will start soon and I start to get excited.
November 9, 2005
Dream 1: ( Dancing snake goddess)
There is a nude woman, goddess-like, with a huge snake. She is erotically dancing with it and it is slithering all around her. It is three times bigger than she is. She is having an orgasm as it slithers all over her.
Dream 2: (Food Prep and Driving up steep hill)
I am with Mayra Williams in Luray. We are trying to sell food, so we are looking for a place to set up. We are near 7-11 but it is different. We each eat a ham sandwich and bowl of tomato soup. I ask people in 7-11 for two bowls and they give us them. I fill both mine and Mayras bowls with the soup. A bunch of other stuff is going on, and then I am inside 7-11 working with food, all sorts of cool little treats and snacks that look like petrified wood. Before I leave ‘work’ the girl lets me take a bunch. I leave, with my bookbag filled with stuff. I keep finding orange feathers of different shapes, that seem to come from a cat??? I keep them each time I find them, and put them in the bookbag. I am walking to my car in the parking lot, with someone, a boy….unclear who it is. Some guy asks me if Joel Miller is picking me up, and I say no, I am driving. Then a boy in a wheelchair is there too. He has been bit in the head somehow. We all go to the car. I am talking about how hot it is and that we should go swimming. The car is a dark convertible. I drive it out and it is a bit weird to drive at first. I finally pull out and turn to go up the hill near Family Convenience and the hill is so steep the car putts up it slowly. Then it is as if we are being pulled by cables, like a ski lift. It is a very cheerful mood in dream.
Dream 3: (Jumping Joyfully on mattresses)
I am in Safeway parking lot in Luray with Beefy and others. There is a big group of people, including Rita and Becky. I am in some sort of conflict with Rita and Becky, over a comment? There are loads of Mattresses laid out in the parking lot. I get everyone to lay them in a circle, and we are bouncing on them and having loads of fun, doing flips etc. I feel quite joyful.
November 10, 2005
Dream 1: (Full moon Volleyball)
I am playing volleyball on top of a hill with some people. To our right there is a massive full moon, absolutely gorgeous. I go and point and say ‘ isnt she beautiful!’, talking about the moon. I say something about it being in pisces and that the energy is intense. Something happens at the volleyball game and some of us are knocked out or something…it is related to the moon in some way.
Dream 2: (Birthing Snake)
I am in a bedroom somewhere and I can feel my belly wriggling around very actively. IT is different and I think ‘this is it, baby is coming’. Then a small snake is born and crawls from my vagina and out the bottom of my shorts to the floor! I am in awe, and find it strange at first but then I try to catch it and it crawls under the bed. When I look under the bed to see it, I has changed into a cloth snake, made of white fabric, and it seems to have a bit of patchwork and is sewn with thread and the eyes are sewn on etc. But it is moving around like normal. Then I grab it and look at it closely trying to figure out what it means. Next thing I know, it is a robot, with metal wires, and what seems to be microchips on it, all pieced together but a bit crudely. I think to myself that ‘Mother” has been experimenting again?!
(Disembodied Terror/ Magical Happenings and Self As Antidote- Consuming the Snake)
Dreamtime Feb 28, 2009
I am asleep and can hear B outside in conflict with a big mob of young people who are drinking and making noise and being destructive. I get up and look out the window, and eventually go downstairs. They have been fighting and hassling. I open the back door and say 'Thats it' really angry, and I throw and stone into their crowd in the street and it hits someone, but they see me close the door and then know who it is that has thrown it. I run upstairs, suddenly afraid of what they will do. B has gone somewhere and I am alone in the house with Oisin and I feel insecure and unsafe. I see someone climbing on the wall to get into the house. I look out the window and then someone throws something in ….they are targeting the house and me now. The next thing I know I am in the bed sleeping next to Oisin, and I feel a presence….unseen….and I am terrified. It is sucking me down the bed toward an invisible hole or something. I can feel the energy and palpable terror as I try to fight the pull. I am afraid for Oisin too. It seems to suck me to the door/wall and I know I am powerless in relation to this immense energy, whatever/whoever it is. At some point I am telling B about the dream of the kids and the terror, as if I have woken up. Then I am in a car with a man who I have met and feel in sync with …he is older and somewhat familiar. He seems to belong to some group that I have befriended. B and I are at odds and he has pretty much dissed everything I tell him matters to me. I feel so angry and I want to get away, so I go with the man. There is something about a girl, familiar either in Waking Life or in Dream, and we both somehow come to realize with are on the same 'Mission'. The man and I are supposed to eat dinner with her and her parents but something happens and we are really late. When we turn up, with Oisin, Oisin is really wired and running around and I feel self-conscious and that I am offending her parents because they seem quite ‘proper’. He walks right off a table at one point while I half-catch him before he hits the floor in such a ways that it makes it look like no big deal. The girl and I are in in her room then, but we leave to meet the man at a pub or somewhere. We sit down at a table with some people There is a blonde girl who arouses my rage and I punch her and get into a spat. We are waiting for the owners of the place to leave with us. Then I am with the girl again, in her room, and there is an assortment of objects on a table. We are trying to do something shamanistic, and I turn into a Bat and she is something else. It has to do with the objects on the table. I fly out, in a bat-like manner, conscious of the quick flapping motion of my wings. It is hard to remain in flight however. We feel compelled to figure out or do something that has spiritual/ magical undertones and involves the girls parents too. There is a scene where I am hanging from a ledge in water or some other substance and asking for help up…saying “please help me!”. There is one scene where I am with Oisin and we are walking and I see a timber rattlesnake…a small fat one …and I run over to protect him. I end up grabbing it and have it in my hands. I feel I must consume it for some reason. As I am holding it I bite down on its belly and it lets out a loud squeal, then I crush its head in my fingers and take a bite out of it. It has a magical feel to it. There is another rattlesnake that seems to jump and bite Oisin in the face but we dont pay any attention … It is as if I consumed the snake in order to use it as an Antidote to any potential harm it could bring to Oisin. I end up describing the experiences to the girls parents. They are amazed.
BlissNinja 