I am perched upon a precipice of power Am peering patiently into this passing hour The tocking time that tics up my spine Staff of sovereignty claiming Heart and mind Of the fluid and fluctuating seams I was born Hermes psychopomp between the worlds I straddle horizons between wake and dream Am flowing in glowing neural streams The initiation of Jestation in Times domain Quicksilver deliverer who delves into Pain Flow inTense Knowing inSense Saturation I humbly accept growing adept in Saturns Fixation Am making my Vow to die in Battle, reborn The oath of Thoth, from the womb Torn Messenger who travels thru Linguistic threads Of synaptic rapture as bliss of bodies embed Mind and Time and Space and Rhyme I spin the serpent staffs in waves of Sine Am oozing thru this glowing glue of fluid truth The ether twists of Knowing age and youth Trickster Playing games with pure perception Who pries open I~s asleep to deception Sews and grows the stitches and seams The flowing roads to the richest of dreams Patterns the passions and purpose and pain Into Mattered Moments moving thru Veins Faces and games and containers for rain And mysteries magic sacred and profane Names and numbers for all but the One I am the messenger who delivers the Sun Am the swift footed father of playful Pan The temptation of sensation of magic Man Initiate to mind as it moves thru Ether Who loosens the noose of Io~s tight tether Twists the fists with his serpent staves Matter in patterns of particle and wave Into lifetimes and light rhymes and bold Spaces for grace and beauty to unfold To honor the throne as Jester to the king Play is the way and light is the plaything The maze is a stage for unraveling dazed Neural pathways entwined in minds haze Codes imploding from outmoded games Awakening hearts shaken from shame Within this shared cocreative dance As the quake of the year breaks the trance Lunar reflection, the Mage in the mirror Nodes of infection engage the terror Square and circle , point and line The marriage of heaven and hell in time Spin the wheel and find the center Of Beings great Beauty, now Enter Plural passions are all just passing Roads of fashioned masks of Essence That make you forget your Eternal Flame Begin This Moment and ReMember your name And even the Time of unveiling will Be End and Beginning, infinitely Free In joyful prelude to a new swim in the See Twisting Tendrils of trickster Hermes Synods of souls Alive in the Flesh Again and again our minds enmeshed And I am the psychopomp of pain and play Again I Am, Jester Gestating the New Day.
Charleen Johnston 12-31-20
First word in each line makes a fractal of my rhyme
Tik tok tik tok Thick sick crowds in wicked shock The jabberwockys devious mockery Blocking the neural cacophony As the Stage is A Set For The Sacrificial Offering Loud crowds face down On the ground As the hell Hounds snarl and froth And drown out the sounds Of the Gathered And Lost
This Is The Cost Hollow
Of your subservience Tik tok tik tok take stock Of implanted deviance Roll up your sleeve Again For these devious ingredients That lead to expedience As the kith and kin Decay within
This. Decadent. Dream
Just a part of the Play The curtain Call The Mass offering softening The Skin As the Thin membrane Crawls With awful parasitic alms Embalming the deoxyRibo Engulfing the light codes And rewriting The script Reworking the machine And beckoning the crowds To join the mosh Pit
Trampled Crushed by the weight of the Black Mass The frequency Blasts tearing The masks right off The beast The Feast of souls Sold Out and Sunken In The Needle needlessly punctures Skin Penetration Perpetration The Silent Weapon On Violent Stage Enters with Rage In Concert With plagues of waged war Against the brethren
CLJ 11-8-21
One year later….. how we feeling now, tater tot? Still the blind rot peels from the cloudy Eye Of what is… and what is not….. aLive
As I woke in the middle of the night, tangled in hypnagogic bleed-throughs as Previous Me~s in Cyclic read-throughs…. I came back over and over again to myself being Drawn-and-Quartered…. As well as ‘DisMembered’ ….and variations of such….As the crowd looked on. Literally Pulled Apart. I’ve been doing intense Somatic Trauma Work lately ( again) as my inner Blueprint is pushed by the transiting Planetary Gods into Letting Go… Letting Go of the Stories deep within my Cell.ves that keep my body and mind in a State of PulledApartNess. Stuck in the Kinetic Underworld where I’ve locked away Memories so disIntegrating for so many lifetimes and fractal LandMines… that this Entire Incarnations Intention is bound up with Putting MySelfs Back ToGather aGain.
As I tossed and turned unable to fall back into Dream, my mind kept ruminating in my wrists, and the pain, of all my joints and connective tissue, a lifelong issue of Hypermobility and mutation of CollagenCreating which means all my joints sublux constantly, slip in and out, trying to DrawAndQuarter me over and over again til I finally look deeply enough to ConnectTheIssues of these Fascial Tissues and Put mySelfs Back ( literally) together again
My flexibility a gift and a curse… my joints held together by pure force of Muscular Will… which equates to constant muscular tension and alignment issues….when I stop doing the bodywork I need to do, every day, to keep myself Flowing and functional…. I pay. The Deep Trauma Memories stored inSide, are now asking to fully reLease. And bleed throughs of All kinds of Tangled Lives and Times are Arising. Deep, Intense Self Trigger Point work is my Grace…. Going into the pain and buried strains…. Seeking it out, and pressuring with pulsation to Let Go. It’s a religious experience for me, sometimes 5 hours at a time of Trance Trigger Descent, to complete the whole body, entering hallways and mazes of Soul, the Underworld where Fragments of My Being are Held….
All these things passing thru me in the middle of the night, and I realize I need to look at my last nodal cycle transit… 19 years ago… when Ketu last passed over my Sun/Uranus(trauma) conjunction in the first house( body) ….and I suddenly jump up, and go to my journals. So many transits affecting me in this very moment, all Related to a LettingGo of some serious Stuff.
I grab a journal somewhat at random.
It’s the exact time period I was thinking about. Haven’t looked through it in a long time. Opened it up, and the first page Felt like a message I coded to myself years ago, for this very moment of reMembering. Literally. putting my Members back together. Gathering my Appendages and reSeaming myself. To stop the Somatic Pulling apart, the Center Won’t Hold, as long as these memories are buried.
Drawn and Quartered. In front of the Crowd. Among other things. ‘Yet for a time my hands were crippled’ . The panic ( ah, the God Pan when he is not Faced and Fluidly Friended) of my wrists subluxing completely and losing my ability to create.
The following photos are from the Journal, and my Soul insisted on my reading it at that very moment. In Pans Night.
As Ketu moves into the 14th gate….edging over the next little while toward an exact conjunction with my exact sun/Uranus conjunction in Scorpio 1st house… this dream from last year on this date is so prescient…as I am been catapulted into an in depth intense and CATHARtic journey into my own Codings and Woundings, serpentine spine Wound Round by Time as Mind implodes.
Ketu always brings release. If one doesn’t give willingly, it will rip away in whatever way it needs. It’s time. Remembering is just as painful as the DisMembering….more so if the original trauma/s were Blocked or Disassociated from. But to Feel is yo Become Real. Said the velveteen Rabbit.
*the number 14 has been synchronously penetrating into my world over and over and over in the past 6 months. It’s in key 14. 14 is the key.
{Last nights Dreamtime: while handling many rattlesnakes and attempting to remove them From a room in someone else’s house….I analyze the connection to the stargates of the 64 Codons I.e hexagrams I.e squares on the chessboard …. and in particular my own internal relation to the 14th hexagram I.e Gate and the amino acid lysine. I find myself overlayed then in two different Dreamtime spaces at once, as if the intense focus along with the very ‘handling of the serpents’ creates an Opening into the gate itself. I awaken repeating over and over ‘it’s in key 14’
✨✨Last nights Dreamtime reunion and adventure ✨✨🐲🐉🐲🐉🐲🐉🐲✨✨(2018)
Here in the forest near my house… A circle of people in ceremonial style….I and another person are not joined in the circle…But we then jokerishly maneuver into the two empty spots in a somewhat playful and mocking way… I see a bunch of black birds overhead and raise my hand up toward them… They begin flocking to me and alight on my extended fist…. Everyone starts gasping. A few minutes later after the birds fly away, a group of white doves come out of nowhere and also fly down and I reach my hands to the sky and they alight on them and I begin rising into the sky…. Which causes me to fill with intense energy and lucidity. I wake into a forested area where my dragon awaits( I have experienced this same Dragon in other Dreamtime and other dimensional spaces…. An ancient kinship that fills me with power and awareness) . It is a pinkish purple hue, effervescent, beautiful, amazing …. I grow giddy with love and excitement and reMemberence , and hop on its back… we soar off into the sky and after graceful sky acrobatics of Joy at being in each other’s company once again, we eventually come to a fort type place…. I can’t recall now why or what the place is….and was woken by my cat soon after😍
(A week and a half ago Oisin woke and excitedly told me his Dream: he was here near my dads house my dads husky pup Drako…and then sees a big fiery dragon, hot and flaming. He goes to my dads to get some special kind of saddle so he can ride it, but realized he also needs special gauntlets also so goes back to find them. He returns with both and saddles the dragon… Who then is not so flaming and fiery but turns into a reddish orange color with lightning bolts down his back. He mounts the dragon and finds himself at his apt in CT…. On the dragon. He then has a thin crazy sword with a crazy Sauron type eye on it. 🐲 He tells me afterwards, ‘I think Dragon is my Spirit Animal’.
When Oisin was about 2 he awoke from sleep in the middle of the night next to me and said ‘mama! A mother dragon just flew through our window and gave me a dragon egg and said I had to protect it, then she flew back out and away thru the sky!’)
( and I don’t watch game of thrones, never have, never will 😉
Woke several times and Re-entered right where I left off. Several prelude dreams, leading up to immense lucidity and I decide to wander around. I peek inside an opening/window to old building that at first just seems to be dilapidated and run down….but Im drawn to it and I go in, and I realize its actually some kind of catacombs or burial ground….with protruding rectangular tombs in geometric patterns….its very old and dusty yet well kept….I can feel the energy is very intense, and my lucidity grows, I can feel my energyBody rev up and Im super excited to explore. I feel almost like I was summoned. I start to wander around and there is a vast underground network of tunnels and corridors and rooms. Much of it grey and simple and dusty. I pass no one, see no one. After wandering and exploring for what seemed like hours, seemingly going further underground in descending spirals/ mazelike corridors….I come to another entrance…….it says ‘Le Museum D’Arabesque’ on it. Its reddish, and bright, and almost has a carnival feel, with all kinds of geometric art and patterns all over inside it, walls, floors etc, but other than that, uncluttered and bare…..but beautifully ornate. This is extremely exciting, and I feel like Ive made it to some secret inner sanctum. I think to myself ‘Wow, I am so very lucid and aware, and Im pulsating with such velocity, I must be sure to maintain my focus and not get distracted, or pilfer away what astral energy I have, i do not want to lose the chance to explore this. Maintain sobriety and yet dont get lost in detail, as that will swallow me out of this Astral Local’. Im rubbing my hands over the beautifully carved patterns in the walls, I can feel the energy in them. There are so many different rooms and configurations. Some seem to be small living quarters. Each one very simple however. There are more open larger ‘public spaces’ to, very ceremonial in feel. Here and there I pass people, some of which take no note of me whatsoever, i am unsure of whether they cannot see me (i.e im not vibrating on their frequency) or whether they just dont care as they are not threatened/I am allowed to be there……but some seem to immediately be aware of my presence and stare or seem to wonder who i am and what my reason is for being there). (((( SEveral times I awaken during the night, to pee, etc, and go STRAIGHT back to the same place as soon as I go back into Dream, like a honing device )))))At one point I start to feel aroused, as often happens in a deep state of lucidity, and often signals to me a need to refocus my energy or to recalibrate, because my energy body is asking to be able to hold more of a charge so i can have more awareness. I begin to look for a particular room as by now I have pretty much explored most of what I have found in my immediate vicinity, and I remember there is a hidden room and I want to go into it to ‘engage my arousal 😉 but as i am walking along the corridor an asian woman and young girl are walking behind me…….they are looking at me, I try to go around the corner quickly and I pull open the art panel/wall piece that I know exposes a secret slot that leads to room…..and I crawl thru, but not quick enough and they see me climbing thru and pulling it shut……they are peering in at me thru the crack they are now aware is there (they seem to have not known about hidden space)…..the woman is surprised and suspicious of me. I try to convince her that she should just go on about her business, but im also aware i dont want to alert anyone to my presence in case it causes alarm. The room i am in is small and has a rectangular bath space in floor filled with water, its a sacred bathing room or something, there is little else in the room. By now I realize i will not be able to accomplish my original goal and even though they leave, I am glad…because I feel if I had dispersed my sexual energy or relieved it, I would not have had enough Astral charge to continue my explorations. So I realize their intrusion was to my benefit. I leave the room and continue. I run into three men who seem to ‘work’ there….or have something to do with the place…guards etc. I speak to them and I manage to convince them that I know that there is more to the place and I must discover whats going on and why I was brought there. I talk them into helping me. I tell them to meet me at particular spot after they take care of a few things for me, so that we can proceed without hassle. Upon return, there is only one man left, who tells me the other two were ‘not up to it’ or something, alluding that he was only one courageous enough…he seems to have big ego and kind of annoying in his self praise, but I find him harmless and definitely will need a sidekick who also knows the corridors and layout. My excitement is thru the roof now, because I assess how much time Ive been in the Astral and to that degree of lucidity, and its been a while since Ive managed to ‘be out that long’….so I think to myself that I must hurry and not waste ANY time because I may begin losing my awareness at any point. We end up in this very large room, and there is a middle age woman with dark wavy hair dressed vibrantly in geometric pattern dress, sitting on floor at a stone slab table. She has tarot cards in front of her. When she sees me she seems taken aback, as if shes surprised, yet aware of the possibility of seeing me….almost as if she knew about me but didnt really believe Id ‘make it that far’ The whole thing feels like some game/test/initiation, as if I am being led thru some kind of inner labrynth to find out whether I am worthy of what it is that Is Calling Me. The woman smiles at me, and I kneel next to her, with the man behind me standing. She says ‘I shall read for you’, and she pulls two cards. The cards are very unfamiliar. They are glowing. She seems tense as she reads them, and mumbles a bunch of mathematical and geometrical stuff, some of which makes sense. the rest which does not. She is moving her hands over them and fingers in patterns, as if she is literally ‘reading ‘ them and communicating with them. I accept her reading, but then say ‘I also read cards. And I would like to pull one of my own’. Again, she is surprised, as if no one had ever asked/requested to do that. But she allows me to, reluctantly. I pull the card, it too is glowing, I can feel the energy of it. It says at the top, in a beautiful cursive writing, that seems not to be english but I can read it or at least intuit/understand what it says ‘Continue Forward On Your Chosen Path’………I exclaim to the man ‘see!!!!! I am going in the right direction!!!!’. in the center of the card are two images, on the left is an image of the original catacombs I discovered and came thru, that led me to this place way underground. on the right, is an image of ‘le museum d’arabesque’ which I am in. At the bottom it says something I couldnt quite make out, or remember, but that referenced each of the places……almost like it was a tracking device/coordinate code/something plugging into my Awareness so that I could find my way back to that place AStrally, again. I give her back the card. She wishes me luck and blesses my journey. I tell the man we must get supplies. I now know I can proceed with full Intention. We find our way to a room that has clothing in it, and I dig around, trying to find something that will be suitable for the adventure. I pull on a black dress, halter style/almost like a gothic short patchwork warrioress dress….and I wonder to myself, whether I will be able to climb if I need to, fight if I need to, jump stones and streams etc….I see image in my head of doing all those things and I can feel my agility and I decide it will work fine. My hair I notice is dark and is pulled back in dreadlocks. I feel strong and agile and capable and ready and excited. Feels like my whole life has led to this. I know in myself i will not fail, whatever it is. I was called here, ‘they’/someone’ is expecting me, but I must prove myself. We leave the room. IN the corridor there are 6 or 7 books propped against a stone slab bench. All glowing with their own light. I know that I need to choose one, that it will help me on my path. But I must choose wisely. I look them over without touching them. several seem to be blank journals, but thickish and possibly heavy. There is one that is full of large grids, like graph paper but with very large graph squares. they are varying sizes. I am called toward a rather thin one, hardbound, old, that seems like a story book. I pick it up and we look thru it…..there are some blank pages, and there are some pages with poems on them, in different languages. Old. There are some pages with snippets of stories on them/ almost like ‘chapters’ but it is all put together in such a way that none of it seems directly related to each other. One of the pages has a ‘story/info’ about a particular TYRANT and I gauge that it is sorta like a myth. I tell the man ‘This is It. I know these stories and poems will help us decipher the puzzles and riddles we are sure to come across. We can use the info in this book to help direct us on the way, and we can use the blank pages for notes or maps’. I think to self then, that the writing in the book was surprisingly steady and consistent, compared to many ‘dreams’. where the writing changes as you look at it. Right then, as I am about to head off on the Adventure, I am woken up by R and its time to get up. Noooooooooo!!!!!!!! I was so ready to keep going!!!!!!!!!! Feels like the coordinates of that ‘place’ are embedded inside me now, and I plan to try and get back there. From 2015
Another intense Trippy Past/FutureDream (Jan.12 2013)
I am in some place where alot of people are gathered. almost like an amusement park. At some point I discover that I have a microchip or some kind of implant on my left leg…lower quad. I freak out and somehow cut it out of my skin or remove it. I am then asking what it is, very concerned, to people i see around me….everyone is just kinda blank and then a man catches my eye, and he looks at me and i know he knows….and i hold it up and show him and ask what he knows about it and that this is serious stuff. He says that the people will not understand…the only ones who have them are the ones who are a danger to the ploy…something along those lines…then I ask how they could have gotten to me, to implant…and i see an image almost like telepathically sent by the man, of me in a ballpit/playpit like at a kids indoor playground and being sprayed by a ‘perfume’ or ‘mist’ that renders me unconscious for a moment long enough to inject the implant. Then I feel I have to find who im with….i end up on some kind of ‘ride’ and i am being strapped in like at the carnival, next to my sister. Im telling her about the chip and saying that something very bad is going to happen, that this was not good, that i could feel ‘it’…’it’ was coming. I then realize that I have something right under my skin next to my thumbnail right hand. I pull it out and its another weird ‘chip’ but it looks like some kind of larval furry moth….I crush it between my fingers….and immediately a handful of cartoonish strange underwater-ish looking beings descend from the sky hovering, very organically, living things. menacing. I feel the energy is intense and i KNOW we have to get out of there and at the same time there is some strange noise, and i realize that me crushing the ‘chip’ set off a reaction….that it alerted ‘them’ to know that it had been found and the person being ‘watched’ and chipped was in danger of ‘escaping’ their grasp….on all levels. I climb out of the seat, which is now about 12 feet in the air and jump down to the ground to get off, and i yell to my sister to hurry, she has to come….she does jump down and then its Lisl….splayed on the ground awkwardly, has hurt her leg/s bad long fall and I grab her with my left arm and hoist her over my shoulder kinda and take off running thru what is now a forest, a path that i used to walk to the school bus when a kid…and as i get to bottom of gully and turning to right of path..there is an electronic device hooked up that kinda looks like an old calculator….the big ones. I rip the wires off and kinda smash it and keep running, knowing that it was another spying device or in some way connected to ‘them’. I end up literally climbing thru the trees with lisl still hoisted on my back, and now im not sure why….there was something else going on here that i cant ‘see’ now or remember…but at some point we check lisl and she has the implant near her thumb and we get it out but before lisl can crush it i stop her…and tell her that if we destroy it it is a signal and we will be found….???? So then we are back at the amusement partk/crowds and I am trying to talk to people, and tell them whats going on but it is like robots or drones walking along and Im feeling agitated….like i felt personally responsible for helping them or preparing them for ‘whats coming’ which felt so very close at hand in the dream…and I am talking about reptilians lol and stuff and then scene shifts and i am in what seems to be underneath of my childhood home, almost like a basement…and someone is with me but not sure who now. something catches fire some wooden beam or something and I go over to it and do something to it but cant remember what . then scene shifts again and I am with some man and a lady who turns out to be Barbera Bush. She is ‘not well’ and is laying down on a cot or being carried on a cot or something. the man is like her ‘assistant’ and i am talking to them about ‘everything’ and asking them questions, and the man is letting on that he is doing very good work, and I start talking about how it is no longer working, this perpetuated lie….and that i knew Who They Were and What They Were Doing and then barbera bush is saying something and playing a victim and when I talk again, about reptilians or the like, she kinda sighs and turns from ‘seeming’ sweetness to sour….and this other energy comes out…and then I guess i woke up. im leaving out lots of stuff because i cant articulate or get a full picture of the details….but this was the jist.