BlissNinja

Death by Isness?

🫀Death by Isness? 🫀

Dreamtime Archive
3-3-2015

Last night was an epic Adventure.
In summary:
High Lucidity..... Exploring a stone castle type building covered in snow and ice... Running up the outdoor stone steps and leaping walls... Seeing another dwelling near it... I walk over... Strange monkey type astral wildlife... They are in survival mode... Scavenging food and resources... Life is Cold and unkind at that high elevation... They are not concerned with my presence... They run inside the dwelling they have laid claim to.. I follow one in... Round the corner... Dank... Cold...unhospitable....seems deserted for a long time... Then I see a room... Bare mostly... And a woman and several kids... They have been seeking shelter... I wonder to self how they could survive in the harsh elements... And feel great admiration for the strength of will and deep compassion for their hard life.
I leave... Thinking I will gather some supplies and give to them.

I'm in a car.... Highly lucid and aware I'm
In Dreamtime..... Thinking of my mission... The woman and kids...and feeling excitement. A very loud shattering Pop.
Sizzling Tear. Deafening silence, then. In front of me.... Massive white cold coronal mass of light/energy/Isness.... I could almost touch it... Taste it.... It's so penetrating I'm stripped bare... It seems almost like a Sun that has penetrated right thru many dimensional layers.... Melting thru the fabric of TimeSpace peering sentiently at me…”he who knows himself knows his Lord”.....The excruciating sentience... .... It's so familiar.... I think to self 'wow. Maybe I'm
No longer in the astral plane Playing with worlds... Maybe I've just died... Like totally untethered from the Self I was enjoying being... charleen'...

Sudden I'm Sure that it's true... That I was peering so deep In because I was no longer anchored.

Moments of sadness pass. I feel " I wasn't finished yet with that life.... I liked it" but I get over it quickly and let it Go... Knowing I've 'died' as Charleen this time... " I guess it's time to finish my
Mission on other planes"....
I leave.

I am called back to the snowscape mountain fortress with the smaller dwelling. I just Know there's something there I must find or see or learn. I am outside a large warehouse type building....I KnowFeelIntuit that there is some kind of echo/sonar Entity/device/something.... I go thru the wall. I. See these dolphin like creatures/machines? They seem to be fused.,. Organic/inorganic???is there a difference?
They are floating around in patterns.... Using sonar.... It's like their movements are Language.... It's eery in there... The energy is palpable.... I feel compressed...
I see down at end of long aisle... A woman... She's running data on crazy computer thing.... I'm next to her... She appears to be my mother... But I know it's a projection... Created from my memoryCardMind in order to make me feel safe... I fuse my energy body with the dolphin thing... And suddenly I Am sensing in Sonar and Echo Waves and it's so fascinating... I can see that the Warehouse is a storage Cell for Moments.... That every thought action feeling was creating simple to complex patterns and that these entities or devices were everywhere decoding with sonar/echo technology every Impulse within the Weave. It was All there. I realized that by fusing with the dolphin thing and sharing it's 'vision' that I was actually recording My Own Patterns as Well as the patterns of its own interference.... I was then fused with the 'mother' entity that was no longer using my
Moms energetic template... But that of a young man, almost boyish... As soon as I see thru his eyes and see the dolphin creature staring right back at me, I begin to disrobe... The dolphin makes contact with its mouth.... I am nearly knocked silly with the vibrational frequency of bliss but at that exact moment I have the thought ' it was a test.. A trap... Now my energy has been drained/absorbed.... ' I feel shame that I was not more discerning... But I let the thought go....and left

Scene shifts.

I am at a river out in the woods….seems like a sketchy place that only deviants or outsiders go to ….brave people on the fringe….I am walking/hovering around the water. There is a young man catching lobster things/crayfish…I see another person way over at the edge of the water, who seems just to be observing/watching me. There there is a ball field fence to my left and in the field there are people playing ball. I run up the river and see the crayfish in groups in certain areas and none in other areas. I see a very large one like a lobster under the water too.

I am once again ruminating and thinking about being dead, and feeling a little regretful, like I didn’t finish my ‘work’ on earth as ‘charleen’…I think how lovely the physical fleshly ability to Touch is. I think a long time about this, and about walk-in stuff.
I think to self "I will really miss the touching of flesh..... The Love of Humans. It's such a beautiful part of the game'

I think about my family and friends and how much I enjoyed this particular Lifetime Character and Plot. I start to wonder if I really should just incarnate again... But then decide it takes too long... And will have to pass thru the veil of forgetfulness.. And depending on circumstances...may not ReMember again... who I really Am.... and all my memories and who knows, may not get back to my current state of consciousness next time around….and end up trapped inside the Wheel again. Then I go deeper into the possibility of 'walk ins'…..

Could I take over the body of someone departing who no longer needs it? I could reanimate the Character in a different SElfSuit.... I Figure if I could be a ‘walk-in’ and take over the body of someone who is unable to use it anymore, or who is dying-I could use that persons ‘life’ to re-contact my own SoulGroup/Family and be close physically to them again…and maybe finish my ‘mission’.

At this thought I find myself in a hospital-like environment…and there is the body of a young black girl, whose spirit is leaving….and who I am debating whether to Merge with/become. But I don’t. It does not feel right.

I must finish my adventure.......

Scene shifts.

I am still ‘Dead’ and no one else can see me, except certain people…. I am at a pool with someone who seems to morph from B into R etc. I am hungry and remember food is there…and see a table with sandwiches and people etc. It is a big pool and lots of people and activity all around. I am unable to eat though, but keep trying. I feel hunger by I cant ‘eat’….AT one point someone tries to feed me a mozzarella ball and I can taste that it is salty, very salty. I can taste the stuff but not swallow or actually eat it? There are some Asian girls giggling at a table with their trays of food, and I take bits from the trays. They don’t seem to mind. D.M is there….he seems to be in the same state as me….and he keeps freaking out and I help him….I calm him etc. It feels like I keep trying to forget that I am not in physical body/’dead’ but keep being reminded. There is a part of the pool that is up on a bank or steep hill, and water comes up to the poles but just stops there….like a fake boundary line. Its weird and fake looking and makes no sense. Several people are bathing up there, and I wonder what they are doing/what makes them special. I am ready to leave and have my bookbag with me, trying to put food in it…and I have wet clothes…I tell B I will get dressed as we walk home along the long road/path…but realize it will take too long and he has already started walking. I put the bag on the stairs and stuff the clothes in it….slip oisins tiny flip flops on my feet, amazed I can even wear them. D comes around the side and I am like ‘I will help you, man’ and he is laying on the ground and kinda shaking and convulsing, a seizure. I put my hands on him and calm
The Current. Through all this there is an awareness of something I am ‘forgetting’ or have a ‘vague notion of’…..something ‘I must do’ or ‘gotta hurry’ etc.

I AWAKE. Glad to still have Time left as Charleen.

I've died hundreds of times in dreams, and in lucid dreams I've died and woken into different lives/selves... So many permutations of it...

But this was different. This felt like.... I was so unfettered in my Astral/light body when face to face with that DimensionDevouringWhiteColdLight that I felt certain I must have been completely freed from my earthly vehicle for good.

I'm glad I Am still in this particular Game. I like it Here. And it's starting to get even more interesting. Now.

Spirit Passing Over Me

Happy the Artist had some of my Ai art printed in vinyl for my car!

I build shelter out of scraps
Of form left behind
Scattered in my mind
Out of place
Just a face of the task at hand
And the wilderness is free
It beckons me
Leaps out at me when I try to
Stand, its
Been so long since my feet
Have touched land
And the beasts they form
A circle around me
Praying for me
At first I am afraid and I
Fail to see
But gradually I am allowed in
To see the light I’m
Wallowing in
And I make love to the leopards
Of my own making
Touch tongue to the gentle
Awakening
Healing taking place between
This world and this scream
That opens the door,
In this valley, in this forge
And how high can I fly
When my spirit is untethered
My feathers bending with
The wind
As I am gathered in
By the hands of the one
I am cradled and gently
Laying stable upon
This shaking ground
This haven I have found
And dwelt upon
Till now
But I remake myself
I trace the fake parts of
This hell
And make them new
I make them true
I dance with them until
They are no longer blue
I am taking this shadow
And teaching it form
Without walls
Pure storm
I let it gently cascade over me
As my body bathes in the breeze
Of spirit passing over me…

Charleen Johnston 2002

Velvet Thought-Cars

Happy the Artist finished repainting the ninja steed!

Restless nights breed
breathless dreams
Selves are bursting
through my seams
into Abstract
messes of Me
slipping over stars
in velvet thought cars
weaving in and out
of Light
but never getting far
too many times
I have read
between the
l i n e s
and still SunsRays seep
into mine
split and splayed she
sings her rhyme
time after time
and sight after sight
fighting for life
In this restless night
these listless dreams
free me it
seems
but still I am salvaged
from selves
sweet struggle
pledged against
the rubble of Will
to lift the gift
to the top of the
Hill
where light and rhyme
build to climb
puzzles melting into
Mind
sweeping color over
the lines
smiling despite
the salt crystallized
from tear formalized
Into fear
and the night grows on
the night glows on
strangers in song
whispering parodies
In Vogue
tongues outstretched
to taste the load
this I know
Is Selves in Silence
shards of sacred
on shelves of violence
whence we came and
whither we go
spiraling in and out
of the show
taking our turns on tiptoe
as the shake moves
thru the dance
penetrating glance
from
those who star
In the versions of Play
that gather where you are.

Charleen Johnston 2002

To live as an artist

Allow your judgements their own silent, undisturbed development, which, like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be forced or hastened. Everything is gestation and then birthing. To let each impression and each embryo of a feeling come to completion, entirely in itself, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own understanding, and with deep humility and patience to wait for the hour when a new clarity is born: this alone is what it means to live as an artist: in understanding as in creating. 

Rainer Maria Rilke. Letters to a Young Poet. Trans. Stephen Mitchell. NY: Modern Library, 2001, p.23-4

Unveiling

Whenever a person of unveiling sees a form which communicates to him 
gnosis which he did not have and which he had not been able to grasp before, that form is
from his own source, no other. From the tree of himself he gathers the fruits of his 
cultivation, as his outer form opposite the reflected body is nothing other than himself, even though the place of the presence in which he sees the form of himself presents him with an 
aspect of the reality of that presence through transformation. The large appears small in the
small mirror and tall in the tall, and the moving as movement. It can reverse its form from a 
special presence, and it can reflect things exactly as they appear, so the right side of the 
viewer is his right side, while the right side can be on the left. This is generally the normal
state in mirrors, and it is a break in the norm when the right side is seen as the right and 
inversion occurs. All this is from the gifts of the reality of the Presence in which it is 
manifested and which we have compared to the mirror.

Ibn Arabi, The Bezels of Wisdom

This is the Swan Song

This is the swan song.....
Demonacrobaticommunist beer pong twisted into misty fists of sovietLiberal newDawns
In Daze of Knights in masks and disArmoured
Rights and Lefts that rise enMasse to hail the new Pawns as they are swapped for Queens and Kings on the chessboard of Light and Dark flights of Fancy
Rapt Attention as sewn Dissension begets new Dimensions of Red Imposition
 
Get into position
My friends
Let's say this simply so the useful idiots
Can begin to rescind their terror
Let's open leaden lids and wipe the mirror
Clean, this dream is about to get more twisted
Yet, Resistance just a false flag assistance from the Scripted Set and Setting as Debts are counted and regrets embedded in mounting Systems of Slavery

The flavor of this mess
Order out of chaos as the agitators profess
....politik pointing to prolific policy's of pathetic arrest of sovereignty as the blessed messengers confess their incompetency

This is the Swan Song
I want to say it straight but my finger-tongue obfuscates and nameless shame penetrates reminiscences of the defenseless days of burning stakes and bludgeoned brains laid to
Waste in bodies I've been alive inside in times like these in lives that bleed the broken neural codes that fold me back into Somatic Steeds that weave my Soul through dreams and Seams too numerous and bold to behold in scenes that flicker through golden Reels of Old. 

This is the Swan Song 
Born once more to bore my way through this maze of Youth and Age in a new Play written on the script of the burning Page that smoulders with the smoke of Burning Sages
On the stage of Time, trapped by my own Will to Feel the rage and Wield the Wage of War up my Spine.... Just trying to climb my way out... Rewind the fine twine of the cage of mind and threads that bind me to this climate of crime projected from inside the blind screen of shouting demons Acrobats of simulated semen priming the new aeon to line up.... One.... More....Time..... As the Cycles Ride the Tide of this Massive Wave of mutating Mind.....in a sideways glance I watch as the Trance takes over.... The melody of mania dances through the crowds as the  Swan Song Hovers......frozen..... 


copyright Charleen Johnston
8-27-2020

I rise with the sap

I rise with the sap
…don’t they all?
But do they savor
The agony of the thaw?
The golden whisper
The gilded walls
That crumbled within
The twisting halls
The manic moments
…electric sea
Magdalenes womb
Opens through me
In chambers of gold
Ripened carbon
Break the mold
With diamond body
I rise with the sap
Pulled by the tide
Waking the wonder
That sleeps inside.

3-11-2024

Words do not a Poet make

Words do not a Poet make;
A beating heart that bleeds 
To break
Over and over and over again
Is the ink that forges the tortured pen-
Is the blood that spills and fills again-
Is the open I that struggles through time
To weave the words that wake the mind
 As Holy Athanor holds inside
The broken Shards of Soul and Sines-
Waving magic in tragic rhymes
Bleeding seeds that tie and bind
The love affair of Space and Time;

Words do not a Poet make;
A desperate dance with the daemons
Of fate
Over and over and over again
Is the ink that forges the tortured pen-
Is the blood that spills and fills again-
Is the whispered wisdom that bears thru pain
A lucid truth that fractures the brain
 As sacred Golgothas hidden codes
Implode within the neural nodes-
The Christed seed is born anew
From heavens leaven, the holy Dew
The Time is Now and the Poem is You.

Charleen Johnston 
6-3-2024

A woman free

Charlene, also spelled Charleen and Charlyne, is a feminine given name, a feminine form of Charles coined in the United States in the nineteenth century; from French Charles, from Old French Charles & Carles, from the Latin Carolus, from and also reinfluenced by Old High German Karl, from the Proto-Germanic *karlaz (lit. “Free Man”/”Free Spirit”/Free Thinker); compare the Old English word churl and the Old German Kerl.
Meaning
Free Woman, Free Spirit, Free Thinker

Self Portrait~ Charleen Johnston 5-28-24

THE SONG OF A WOMAN FREE 

I am a woman free. My song 
Flows from my soul with pure and joyful strength. 
It shall be heard through all the noise of things — 
A song of joy where songs of joy were not. 
My sister singers, singing in the past, 
Sang songs of melody but not of joy — 
For woman's name was Sorrow, and the slave 
Is never joyful tho he smiles. 
I am a woman free. Too long 
I was held captive in the dust. Too long 
My soul was surfeited with toil or ease 
And rotted as the plaything of a slave. 
I am a woman free at last 
After the crumbling centuries of time. 
Free to achieve and understand ; 
Free to become and live. 

I am a woman free. With face 
Turned toward the sun, I am advancing 
Toward love that is not lust, 
Toward work that is not pain. 
Toward home which is the world, 
Toward motherhood which is not forced, 
And toward the man who also must be free. 

With face turned toward the sun, 
Strong and radiant-limbed, 
I advance, singing, 
And my song is as free 
As the soul from which it flows. 
I advance toward that which is, but was not; 
Toward that which is not, but is yet to be. 

I, the free woman, advance singing, 
And with face turned toward the sun. 
Let Ignorance and Tyranny 
Tremble at the sound of my feet. 
I am a woman free. 

Singing the song of joy, 
Strong and radiant-limbed, 
I advance toward the work which waits for me, 
The joyful work out in my home the world ; 
And toward the man who is my mate. 
Oh I am strong and magnetic — 
I have not wasted myself in sensuality; 
And equally strong and magnetic 
Is the man who is my mate. 

For the glory of Motherhood 
I have conserved my strength. 
And for the glory of Fatherhood 
He has conserved his strength. 
I have passed by the lovers 
Who passionately called to me in the name of love, 
But whose lips were only hot with lust. 
I have remained true to my own soul 
And to the souls which are enfolded within me • 
And no man shall mingle his body with mine 
Who is not pure. 

I am the free woman, 
No longer a slave to man, 
Or anything in all the universe — 
Not even to myself. 

I am the free woman. 
I hold and seek that which is mine : 
Strength is mine and purity; 
World work and cosmic love; 

The glory and the joy of Motherhood. 
I am not strong and clean for myself alone, 
But for all people ; 
My work and my love are for all people ; 
And I shall not be the mother of one child, 
But of all children — 
For I myself am the daughter 
Of all women and all men. 
Oh I am free ! My song 
Flows from my soul with pure and joyful strength ; 
It shall be heard thru all the noise of things — 
A song of joy where songs of joy were not. 

Oh I am free ! I thrill 
With radiant life and gladness. 
I advance toward all that waits for me. 
I chant the song of Freedom as I go. 
My face is toward the sun, 
My soul is toward the light, 
My feet arc turned toward all that waits for me. 
I advance! I advance! 
Let Ignorance and Tyranny 
Tremble at the sound of my song! 

~Ruth Le Prade

Actors acting perpetually

…. Whenever the masses are suddenly fed a big dish of something, I am immediately suspicious. I intentionally don’t take in ‘trending’ things so that I don’t download the mass frequency into my being. sometimes there’s a dash of salt n pepper n Truth mixed in with a whole lotta subtle agenda and I like to watch how the waves permeate the collective aura and go into Dreamtime and source the codes myself. I rarely hear anything I havnt already contemplated anyway. It feels like a new line drawn in the sand is being cast into the frequent.See baiting the latent stasis::::we shall see.

Actors acting perpetually
Cointelpro.grammatically
Sealed as new deals
Reveal
Grazing cattle in electric fields
Made to crave what seems to feel
Like Home
As alteredCarbon hides
In bones
And tones
Too hard to fly
As
EL.Mag dines on Minds
In Domes.
Nines sidewinded
And
Blindfolded
In Time.

CLJ 5-23-2024