🔥It is the one who accepts commitment who is strong. The true commitment is the artistic one. This is why artists are so often attacked. They are attacked for their morals, for their ideas – even for their work. Yet their essence – their commitment – is the secret which is unassailable. The true artist knows that creativity is its own reward. Ordinary people fear commitment, you see. Ordinary people fear creativity. They know that if they allow that seething cauldron of yellow liquid to boil over within themselves, then their whole lives will be changed. People fear change. People do not wish to be creative and artistic in any real sense. They wish to decorate, perhaps, and to make things around themselves pleasant – but this has little to do with creativity. … All spiritual paths should be creative. Creativity is involved with sacrifice. That stew of yellow liquid which boils in everyone is a sacrificial broth …🔥
I am very excited to be making great headway into this project that has been haunting me for a very long time. I have volumes 1 ,2 , and 3 available on Amazon and volume 4 is being formatted and edited now. I’ve spent so much time lately in ocd pursuit of completing up to the 6 volumes from January 2025 back to 1996 of my ‘dreaming back’ narrative of lifetimes writing . The next three volumes contain more writing by far than these three, as I wrote profusely during those years ( trying to stay sane 🧐)
I’ve done almost nothing else lately, so many hours into these just in the formatting and editing and rereading and all the rest. Reading thru 200 pages several times double checking for missed mistakes 😂 whole new appreciation for this process but I’m a little bit obsessed and am making good to my vow to complete the publishing of the whole series thru volume 6 by the time Jupiter leaves Gemini. The chart for this one is amazing too.
We must plant seeds at the right time for them to bear fractal fruit of beauty: I have lived my entire adult life with the astromythographical mirror of magic at my side, what an amazing gift we have at our disposal of we only learn the Languages of Life and Light🌟🔥🌟 Aquarius Electrical Impulse of Light and Awareness Opposed Leo Fiery FireLight of Warmth and Action and HeartBlood.
My north and south node are Leo/Aqaurius exact conjunct my MC/IC axis. To bridge the Heart and the Mind………as my Mercury ( communication/mental processing:language/writing/expression) sits exactly atop my Ascendent (Scorpio….the Psyche,deep insight/penetration/life death sex mysteries of existence, the deep dark of descent) and opposing Chiron( the wound, the gift we bring forth from that wound, the antenna, the area of healing the existential drama) that sits on my descendent in Taurus ( the body, the senses, Form, the roots, the inner values and substance of our being, the flesh). The modern rulers of those four signs are exactly conjunct….Sun/Uranus in Scorpio first house, and Pluto/Venus in Libra 12th house. Mercury straddled between the two. The psychopomp that travels between the UnFormed(12th underworld/unBeing) and the Formed(1st Self/Being). The Jester, the trickster in the liminal space. The Fool must come Full Circle around the circle of the zodiacal wheel..::earning its degrees by the decree that Life Must learn to Feel the Real.
Yes the fixed cross I am fixed to the cross Bearing The weight Of tearing fate From the forms I create As a testament To Destiny… Alchemy….. Burning the dross To make way For the best of Me
One more project that at some point will come to fruition. Started many years ago. A collage journey thru every single pregnancy dream from my entire gestation period with oisin. Almost every single night there is at least one dream and sometimes a handful. An entire subconscious multidimensional record of my Psyches Hourney through vast restructuring and opening and wonder and transformation.
Now that I have archived almost thru the year 2015 of dream journals into my computer, and should soon be completed with that enormous project, it will be much easier to arrange and print text. The journal entries from April 2005-February 2006 are immense and have a flavor entirely their own: including dreams of a ‘little blonde boy’ who turned out to be my son 🙂
🫀19 years ago, a full Nodal Cycle, I was heavily pregnant with my son.:::.and 9 days from giving birth::::::::: i am still in awe of the magic and miracle that is human gestation( any gestation really) and birth. I wrote the following three years ago… about becoming a mother to my son🫀 —————////////————-///////—————//////———— 🌟16 years ago I opened the Vesica so my Golden SonShine could spray his Radiance into this Reality. I was told by so many people that I was Crazy…. For Having an unassisted Pregnancy without a single doctor visit or test or invasion of my temple…for Birthing him at home, into my own hands, without outside interference by by anyone…..For not cutting his Umbilical cord and instead allowing it to detach in its own as he gently transitioned from one dimensional Space to another….for keeping him skin to skin contact constantly for the first week, and almost constantly til he could maneuver away on his own….for wearing him in slings snd on my back constantly til he walked at almost 10 months snd chose to run and explore….for never using diapers and instead learning his signals and pottying him…for Breasfeeding him til he turned 5, and never once giving him a bottle or pacifier or artificial external soothing substitutes…for sleeping with him for many years, and making sure his Bonding was secure and filled with love and support…never leaving him alone to cry as a baby…and especially called crazy and irresponsible for him never having been to a single doctor visit or test, nor allowed a single Va$$ination or other invasion of his temple.
Everyone makes the choices they are comfortable with, and these were choices I was willing to defend with my life. When you defy everyone around you and in the face of societal and family programming, claim full Responsibility for your Gestation and Birth process and the consequences thereof, and choose to be a Testament to Sovereignty on all levels of your Being, you will receive all kinds of projections from the masses and from those who are so afraid of their own Power that they will silently hope for your downfall for the very act of standing against a System of Disempowerment.
It’s never easy to spend your life learning, and taking responsibility for your own Health and the health of your child. It takes courage and focus, and Trust in a level of being that will test every bit of you along the way. It’s not for the faint of heart. I’m not judging anyone who doesn’t make the same choices I made. But I still stand by my own decisions, and I have a 16 year old blossoming Man, who has made it til now with not a single doctor visit ( minus a required Physical to enter high school)or allopathic intervention, or injection….he’s incredibly intelligent and quick minded, extremely robust physically, and very much his own person, with little care for impressing the crowd. I am grateful beyond measure.
I have made many hard decisions in my life, and more than once left behind everything I care about, in order to do what I felt was the right thing for the larger picture and others involved. Some may judge those decisions also, over the past several decades, harshly. The one thing I can stand by, is that every single choice I have ever made…I take full responsibility for. And there’s not a single person other than myself in all these years thst I blame for anything. Birthing my son in the way I did, and raising him against the tide of social norms and msss programming, was an Initiation of the highest order, and In the current climate of Medical Tyranny, and Invasion of Individual Will , and Rape of the Human Body and Mind with Injections and forced Penetration and Programs and surrender of Soul to a Machine that is little understood by those who have lived their entire life giving over the responsibility for their Lives and Health to something outside of them…. I Renew my Vow of Sovereignty… And will undergo whatever further initiations that are calling me, with absolute surrender to my own Individual Path and Acceptance of Responsibility. While allowing others to do whatever it is that they feel called to do, without interference by me.
May all beings find their Empowerment and reClaim their Divine Will and ReMember that Body is something so miraculously magical…. The more one lives in harmony snd devotion to their own physical body, the more they will live in alignment and devotion to the body of Earth…. And the less Fear of the greater Reality.
Blissed Be. Happy Birthday to my Starchild , and also to the Mother I became on this day 16 years ago.(((((🌟)))))) ~(((((((1-20-2022)))))
🔥 Everyone understands the pain that accompanies death, but genuine pain doesn’t live in the spirit, nor in the air, nor in our lives, nor on these terraces of billowing smoke. The genuine pain that keeps everything awake is a tiny, infinite burn on the innocent eyes of other systems. 🔥
~Federico García Lorca
Bugün ben pirimi gördüm Pirin esigi güldür gül Egildim yüzümü sürdüm Pir'in etegi güldür gül Gülden terazi yaparlar Gülü gül ile tartarlar Gül alirlar gül satarlar Çarsi pazari güldür gül Gülden degirmeni döner Nun ile gül ügünür Akar arki döner arki Bendi pinari güldür gül Gel ha, gel ha, can Hatayi dostun nefesi güldür gül Su öten garip bülbülün Derdi figani güldür gül
Written by Fuat Talay & Mads Nordheim
Music by Fuat Talay & Mashti
Today I saw my pir The pir's threshold is a rose, a rose I bent down and put my face on it The pir's skirt is a rose, a rose They make scales from roses They weigh roses with roses They buy roses, they sell roses The bazaar is a rose, a rose The mill turns from roses The rose whirls with Nun The wheel of the stream turns The spring of the dam is a rose, a rose Come, come, come, my soul The breath of the friend who made a mistake is a rose, a rose The strange nightingale that sings The trouble of the lament is a rose, a rose
‘Voluptas lies curled in the womb of Psyche’….. Old painting of mine from 2009)
“The Poison is the cure”
Let me say it again: the result is not merely the objectification of subjective "me-ness," but the objectification of its material basis. This has been dissolved, calcined, tortured, putrefied, and distilled to a clarity that can be completely seen through, as if it were not there at all, not a speck of literalism remains, not even spiritual literalism. The libidinal compulsion, the organic towardness of hope and desire that would always go further for a faraway grail, turns around on itself and dissolves itself. The snake eats its own tail-another goal image of deconstructive subversion. The snake of healing, transformation, and rebirth, the goals most dearly desired, and the artifex's obedient service, all dry to dust, mineralized. The uroboric motion poisons (iosis) the very idea of cure. Or, poison is the cure.
What is actually accomplished by the alchemical work? According to my psychological fantasies, it is the objectification of the libido-our lives are not our lives. The alchemical goal is the realization in its complete sense of Freud's "object libido," The libido as a cosmic erotic dynamic that permeates the world because it loves the world of matter, even though it has been caught in the personal delusions of subjectivity, so that we believe we love the world, or can be improved or instructed to love the world. Whereas it is the object libido that loves the world through us, despite us. The anima in chains in the matter of "me, " and we place it there each time as we ask psychologically, what is the matter with me? Alchemy answers, saying: you, I, everyone, the world is matter, elemental material, and we indulge in the materials, as the artifex in the laboratory, all along believing that you are working on you, your life, your relations, your processes until the day dawns, aurora. You awaken within the idea of the goal, the goal not somewhere else out there calling for attainment, but you are within the idea. But because the mind is still trapped in me-ness, we shamelessly assert that the idea is in me when your mind is in the idea. You awaken to the recognition that you are already in that stone, mineralized, stoned out of your mind.
If my reading is on track and the telos or "that for the sake of which" is the de-subjectification of the object libido, then we are obliged to imagine resurrection from this vantage point, which hardly conforms with a Christian reading of either alchemy or resurrection. For now resurrection would indicate not the confirmation throughout eternity of the personal subject and its body saved from the world and the devil of its flesh but rather the resurrection of the body of the world with an idea to its eternity. Not the lifting, the Aufhebung, of material worldliness but the full realization of desire for a world that pulsates in the materials of the elemental psyche, those substances that compose the stone and give it its enduring life, a realization that the world itself speaks through the desire in the materials; that desire is the language of the world, that the libido of each individual human is indeed a cosmic force, an eros or object libido which yearns toward and enjoys this world. And we who labor in the garden as if it were a stony ground would find our individual resurrection in attachment to our materials, which are the world's body, this body becoming a jardin des délices, the objectification of pleasure.
Object libido finds its pleasure in the other, the object, the world as a body. This dry term "object libido" calls for a moistened language. Terms such as cosmogonic eros, desire, jouissance, or unus mundus cannot do justice to what is implied. Libido brings with it the aura of pleasure and the Aphroditic world of the senses. Did not Plotinus attribute to Plato the idea that the soul is always an Aphrodite, which suggests that we cannot adequately speak of the libidinal soul without shifting immediately to an Aphroditic language? Then we would imagine that this libidinal drive throughout the whole opus of soul-making and its increasing love has as its goal a resurrection in beauty and pleasure, and we would realize that even such terms as opus and operatio are work-words which distort the libido's nature. The Christianization of alchemy nonetheless retains the Aphroditic vision in the images it presents. She is the Golden One, the pearl is her jewel; the rose, her flower; the bath and the copulations in the bath of the Rosarium, her liquid territory. The translation of sensate images into spiritual value, as if a lifting improvement to the higher realm of Aphrodite Urania, succeeds only in losing the very sensate attraction of the goal as a pleasurable pull toward beauty. Hence Ficino, Valla, and other Renaissance Platonists insisted that Voluptas is nearer to the life of the spirit than the middle region or mediocrity of ataraxic rationality. Voluptas, according to Apuleius, lies curled in the womb of Psyche and comes to birth only after all psychological effort is passed.
I am grateful and blessed and blissed beyond Measure to have come thru the Matrix of This Particular portal... This Womans Womb, the Waveform of Being entangled in Tidal Seeing rooted here in this Loom on the warp and weft of the pain and pleasure and the games and tricks as I play at Being mortal in Times intrepid Tomb.
It is not the first Dance but an endless Symphony of enfolded genes and hologenetic memory It is not a game of chance but an intentional theophany of unfolding schemes and peripatetic biocartography
I was given the invective Kun! Be! And compressed mySelf into a tiny LightSeed planted within a body that bleeds spirit enraptured and captured by the decree to waver between Doer and deed as the Verb of Me descended Down into Noun of Me embodied in Sound Heartbeat pulsing within Skin of Mothers Drum Echoes of rhythm and melody Willing Birth and spilling memory and MomentsOfMe into the fabric of spaceTime instantly
I crawled thru the walls of her Wonder following the Electro Magnetic storm of Lightening and Thunder that cleaves Egg and rends Asunder the Begging beginning Form of fertilized Feeling that clings to Mothers Walls Safe inside the Measured Space of MaMa Mater Matter Maat Matrice of Mind as Thoth Impregnates and BioLuminescent Grace awaits in Stasis the Amazing exit from the Gates of this Nexus that Enters Existence An.Noun.C.I.ng Me.
"The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them." - Turkish proverb
If you know, you know…..that the forest can do all those things and more -that the Empty Shells have planned for their new New Temples. You Are the most advanced Technology In Existence. With Your Body, and the Interface of Mind, you actually have Access to all of Time & Space. But you do not ReMember Who You are. So you have been Tricked into using your Infinite Power to Create…..to build a world that is designed to keep you trapped in endless feedback loops of recursive programming…..how many layers deep will you Go?
The Crossroads:::::::
Carbon is Diamond. The Black Goddess Black Madonna in Her Rarefied Form. Thru the Process of Times Dance with Space and the Intense Compression that takes Place….She becomes The Diamond Body Virgin Mother….:::::: A pure and perfect Refraction of Life…::::: But they Are…:In Essence::::: the Same
The Silicon Vale of Tears reigning floods to divert the Sovereign organic Process Pressuring Life into Forms that deForm the Inner Temple ….. which Upgrade will You Choose? Diamond or silicon? No Matter Mother Maat Matrix can be destroyed but it can be trapped in an Endless Loop. How many layers Deep, Are You, In the Soup?
🌟But the moment we realize body also as a subtle body–a fantasy system of complexes, symptoms, tastes, influences and relations, zones of delight, pathologized images, trapped insights–then body and soul lose their borders, neither more literal or metaphorical than the other. Remember: the enemy is the literal, and the literal is not the concrete flesh but negligence of the vision that concrete flesh is a magnificent citadel of metaphors.
Putting soul inside man also neglects that man, too, is a personified literalism- no more an actual real container than soul. In Chapter 1 the realization grew that a human life is actually a personification of the soul, a projection of it, contained by it. Although we readily accept the notion that human energy, and nature, life, and Gods are not specifically human privileges and that they exist “‘outside” human be- ings, we curiously balk over distinguishing soul from human being. Is this because we do not allow anima her independence? Is this the fundamental intolerance of human psychology: its inability to admit the distinct reality, the full reality, of soul, so that all our human struggle with imagination and its mad incursions, with the symptoms of com- plexes, with ideologies, theologies, and their systems, are in root and essence the unpredictable writhing movements of Psyche freeing herself from human imprisonment?
Our distinction between psyche and human has several important consequences. If we conceive each human being to be defined individually and differently by the soul, and we admit that the soul exists independently of human beings, then our essentially differing human individuality is really not human at all, but more the gift of an inhuman daimon who demands human service. It is not my individuation, but the daimon’s; not my fate that matters to the Gods, but how I care for the psychic persons entrusted to my stewardship during my life. It is not life that matters, but soul and how life is used to care for soul. This bears upon dreams. Dreams, we said earlier, are the best model of the actual psyche, for they show it personified, pathologized, and manifold. In them the ego is only one figure among many psychic persons. Nothing is literal; all is metaphor. Dreams are the best model also because they show the soul apart from life, reflecting it but just as often unconcerned with the life of the human being who dreams them. Their main concern seems not to be with living but with imagining.”
BlissNinja 