Tag Archives: soul

Viriditas

Crossing to Avalon, Jean Shinoda Bolen
William Styron , Darkness Visible
Dante’s Inferno

🌱Viriditas🌱

My bedtime reading a reminder of the lush greening and the moisture of aliveness. Venus in the glory of bountiful natural juiciness of expression in abundant hues of green. Taurean fertility and adoration of the sensual world that saturates and quickens the blood. The Power of the Greening. That which is alive is wet, is moist, and as Time takes it’s toll, demands payment, it is in moisture, removed……Saturn is Dry. It contracts and dries things out. As moisture dries up, Life dries up. Turns to salt? Saturn is salt. Salt is wisdom. The journey from Green Venusion birth into the sensual realm of aliveness and bodily experience. Ole Saturn, through Time pulls the moisture out, condenses, constricts, makes dry and brittle and rigid. The wisdom that comes from embodiment and disembodiment in patterns and cycles of knowing and forgetting, being, and letting …be. Saturn is melancholia. The darkness that overtakes when the moisture of life has gone. The Melencholia of intense depression states, the complete loss of all the juice of living. If you know you know. Saturn is a harsh task master but always wise. If you’re worth your salt, your worth your sea as the womb space of psyches dream pulls you in.

Went to bed with these contemplations. But never slept. So eventually re/lit my candles, and grabbed a book that had been in que. William Styron ‘Darkness Visible’ about his descent into Melencholia and Madness. Saturns initiation. If you know you know. Read the whole thing before falling sleep. The journey of Saturns slow wicking off moisture from the body and mind and heart. The seemingly inexplicable dance with the leaden realm that makes the Viriditas ever so sweeter when the waters return.
Saturn and Venus and their dance.

I went into a laughing fit that lasted probably ten minutes, towards the end of Styrons book. One single paragraph seemed to me so hilarious…..he spoke so articulately sardonic and it was so metaphoric of how little the ‘system’ understands the ramifications of Madness of Melancholia when Saturns slow shrivel has dried up every last bit of wetness from the soul. (See photo of the excerpt).

“Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
Mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
Ché la diritta via era smarrita”
~Dante

I awoke to the sound of the pouring rain outside, could feel the earths reception of these heavenly waters as a tonic for her thirst. Ah. The greening. And the wet juiciness of life. The green hue that surrounds my house a reminder of the love for living that Saturns dark lessons make New and make pertinent.
Knowing the hot dry temperatures coming up in the next week, I felt myself relax into this rainy downpour that quenches the parched earth.

🌱Viriditas🌱

Into the Ripples

This year I’m going down into the RIpples to honor my 43rd year of Solar Cycling thru the PrismGuarded Realm…. I’ve been Hunting the Hunter who has hunted me for lifetimes.
Last night as in the Ethers I was watching on observing an altercation, I turned my eyes back to the door as I stood and a sudden BaM!!!!! Felt almost like the time I was hit directly in the face by a volleyball that had been pounded by a very strong hitter , a dude at Rec bball in CT which knocked me back several feet flat on my ass;) a sense of calm as my awareness reflected on what had just happened, I was unsure but my consciousness hovered slowly lettinG go the tether, and I realized a Shot had come from those whom I had turned away from. A bullet to the face was a strange sensation anyhow.

I woke directly into this morning with the impact still throbbing. Then noticed that my entire jaw on the right side was more fully swollen with the impacted Wisdom tooth that rears up now and again. There’s nowhere for it to go. I heard ole Wotan tell me that the dance of Sun and fiery Mars sitting on top of my natal sun/Uranus exact conjunction in first house( head /face ) now opposing Uranus in Taurus ( neck/voice/throat) is inFlaming me, the Uranus opposition intensity being stoked as The Wisdom buried in the Jaws is trying to emerge. The Voice that is trapped in the throat , telling me it’s time to be born into this world. I have to Face it. Literally, had to do an hours deep intense facial fascial maneuvers including neck and shoulders, and then much of the swelling had subsided. The Pain Gone. Sleep came back to me, whispering that there is nowhere to hide, any longer…..that which is stuck hidden inside my jaws which hold my tongue and where stories are told, is Impacting the way I Face the World. The Stories must be Written and the entire fascial inTension released so their is room for Wisdom to Break on Through.

Some have told me to cut out and violently remove this Tooth, this reminder, so to make pain go away. But I chose at age 19 to never take a pain killer or allopathic medicine. And I’ve stuck to it, Felt Fully and Faced each Pain in the Embrace of Somas Palace. I follow it, it always leads me to the Selves buried deep within the Matter of my Flesh, where dreams are buried and beating at the door for attention.

My descent is in honor of this Dance, Seaming Fractals Dreamimg Me, Wearing the Masks of My Past and Glaring at the Mirror til they See me.

So my 43rd Solar return will be spent Alone in the Solace of Nature and Soul, deep in ceremony for the mysteries of Birth and Death, that which is wrapped tightly around the 18th and 19th of November for me.

Novem = nine /ninth month
The Gestation
Nov= ‘new’. ‘Ember’=small live fire , Hebrew’appointed by god’

What shall be born from these flames wherein the zodiacal wheel at this moment so intensely proclaims that The Time is Now
For me
To Open and Face
The lost Scroll
Within my seams

Charleen Johnston 11-17-2023

A little Flip Book of Pattern Play

A little flip book of pattern play….
Hidden agendas and timelines of pain
The master orchestrator always remains
The being that’s seeing thru the eyes in our brain
Majestic mazes of manipulated minds
Creating a Space that challenges Time
Eating images and projecting reality
Holographic breeding of dystopian fallacy
minds under siege as fearful hearts close
The challenge to balance the whys and woes
The fingers point outward in terrified blame
Initiating the lock on the grid of the game
The architect cleverly hidden inside
The engineers blueprints of cold dead light
The synthetic overlay ushered thru stages
As the prophets, poets, saints and sages
Paint the picture with poignant passion
Proclaim the Game as their Saving Mission
Whichever Timeline in the fractal you choose
There is no Final Boss Stronger than You
You will decide in each belief that you Eat
How the story goes whether loss or defeat
And when the jesters Chessboard is cleared
We’ll Play again with Tears and Years
To ReMember ones Power in the face of Pain
Is to Step into the Joy of Process again
To joyfully inhabit ones body and Place
To face The tangled web of Destinys Grace
Is to Simply reMember you Rolled the Dice
In the First Place

Charleen Johnston 1-5-2019

Old Musings on Existence

Is ‘spirituality’ and/or ‘divinity’ and/or ‘enlightenment’ truly about transcending the body and this ‘material’ existence? In my experience, that very belief creates a rigid perception of AllThatIs…..
If we are self aware and conscious…..on a very basic psychological level….are we not far more aware and conscious on deeper levels(fractally infinite?)….and if so……does it matter what ‘someone’ labeled/labels those deeper levels of awareness….or whether a specific ‘angle of perception’ is ‘true and enlightened’?………….Is it easier to believe that we are ‘accidentally’ caught up in this material world in this material body, to learn how to escape the very material we are living……than to see that this ‘material’ is conscious and aware and is us, just as much as/more than some abstract notion of spirituality and divinity, and that if instead of trying to escape this level of energy, we embrace ourSelves down to every particle, every unit of awareness, and transform it into higher and higher frequencys of ‘existence’ and consciousness, we will find that we dont need to ‘transcend the body’ whether it be our ‘individual’ bodies, or the body of earth, or the body of our universe…etc etc etc.

Did we really focalize ourselves in this time/space continuum, this specific fractal of consciousness, just to see how fast we can leave it? I think that a basic inability to truly see and understand the true power of what we each are, on all levels, leads to the belief that one must escape this reality in order to be divine, or to be deserving of ‘god consciousness’. I think that alot of peoples viewpoints are patterned from christianity and other religions, and they dont even realize it….but whenever that fundamental ‘desire’ to leave what we are now, and/or our ‘body’ , etc, to rejoin some ‘spiritual haven of eternal light’ takes center stage, that same religious paradigm is still lurking and working under the surface…..

personally, i think most people would benefit from truly relating to and understanding the ‘darkness’ within/around one, and by coming thru that darkness and pain and negated bits of consciousness, to transform it……….into Power…not power over(even over ourselves) but power TO BE…..an infinite variation of things and dreams and streams of force and consciousness and forms and feelings and blah blah blah………….I think that we as a whole, for a long ‘time’, have had an obsession with ‘the light’………and dont even know what it means……..

just some thoughts.

as a previous poster mentioned, I also have met many people (and been one) who have denied the pain in favor of an idealized airy fairy realm of divine light.
I understand at this point in my journey, that its not about denying anything, whether ‘material’ or ‘spiritual’ (they are just different frequencies of the same energy…)but to EXPERIENCE everything, to FEEL IT, to BECOME IT, and to LOVE IT, for consciousness/awareness sake……..and when the experience is passing from focus……….to LET IT GO….without creating a rigid structure from it…..
To be totally open to everything that manifests, on any level, and to learn to travel the threads that connect it all, in ever deepening ways……to me, that is Power. Power of Self/God………..and the more energy you can ‘withstand’ and ‘transmute’……..the more of Self/God etc, that you have ‘realized’…………………

….whether ‘dark or light’…..my intention is to experience everything, and to become aware of more and more of the Energy that Is, in whatever shape it takes…..and to evolve WITH my ‘body’…individually and collectively….not AWAY from my ‘body’……….its quite easy to travel thru and/or ‘escape’ into worlds of very light/’high’ vibration while ‘leaving’ the body…………….its far more challenging to revolutionize the body and ‘travel with it’…………….making every Cell in AllBodies totally Aware………………………….

…………………….so the whole cycle can breath itself out again in an even more conscious state………………..inhale, exhale…..

……………………..the endless cohesing and coalescing of the AllThatIAm………………………..

just another angle,
{{puella …..Charleen

Re: religion and energy. Thu, November 17, 2005 – 4:29 PM}}}}}}}

{Aka BlissNinja

smile! its powerful….

Structural Integration

One Who Cannot reorganize and reOrient ones own body and release the disfunctional Structural rigidity and misAligned Stored Emotional Tensions that create constriction and prevent Free Flow of Life and Experience, cannot ever ReOrient the larger Body Politik. Inherent Apoptosis , wanders thru the Seams to make wY for Dreams of Integrity…. No? Yes….. To Living…. Is Yes to knowing the Key is Within Your own (S)Cell(F)ular Matrix

as history attests, burning the external representation of the system does nothing except make the scared herd cling ever more tightly to some semblance of being protected and corralled. One must Dismantle the Internal Structure that Bars the Being from ever realizing he never was a Victim to begin with; living an Authentic Life precludes the basic Fact that no outside agency has authority over ones Being, and begins with the tiniest gestures , of which very few people ‘alive’ are willing to Do, because as confining aS it is, most would rather be able to point their finger outside themselves instead of take full responsibility for theirSelf 🌟🃏🌟

….and ‘burning the ruling establishment to the ground in violent revolution ‘ is exactly what ‘they’ want, because in the intermediary chaos and confusion, ‘they’ simply reInstill and reInStall a tighter Reign on the Mind and the Hearts of those who know not how to exist within the Fluidity of ‘No Structure Imposed From Without’…One who has not learned to Organize their own Coherent Existence from Within cannot hope to exist peacefully in a systemless social arrangement any more respectably than one who concedes to the Program in order to remain comfortable.

Don’t they know

Don’t they know? 
They are all just electromagnetic pulses
All just embryos in the body
Of motherMatterMaterMatrix
Placental playscapes practicing for ultimate
Power in the Now
Or Never
Dont they know? 
They all suck from the teat of the Same name
What’s the Formula for this false Game?
What’s the concoction that allows the blame
To be placed outside
Fingers pointed in chiding derision
Forgetting that the Self 
Makes its own decisions
And needs no Other to order decrees
A sovereign Being earns its degrees
On the zodiacal wheel
No permission needed from any 
Pretense of Real 
Power
This is Ours
It’s now and Flowers
Unfold when the hour is too old
To cower any longer behind the soul
Of latency 
The Elect of Life
Electricity
Spermatic emphatic God of pregnancy
Sparks divine creation
In Magnetic womb , magdalenes elation
To carry the sonic boom 
Of natures embodied satiation
Sacred
Sacred …..
Scared with hatred and fake matrix
Manipulation
They all scream
All hide in foggy dreams denying
Their own hand in this plagiarism
The Cluster of Cells where
In-dwells the Hint
Of sacrificial embodiment
Asks only to hold the mirror
Do you know?
Do you know Who you are?
Are you a gob of flesh 
Staring into the abyss of imprisonment
Angry at fragments of your own
Disillusionment?
Fears and tears and shame from years
Of traumatic wounds
And dismemberment?
Are you a pulsing electromagnetic spectacle
Of stardust impregnated into the divine mother
I-And-US
Unfolding embryonic supersonic lust
For Life
Wandering Waves of cosmic Dust
Dancing the dream of Being
As Body
Bleeding with the intense need
To See
The True Seed that grows within
This multidimensional PlayPen
Again and again. 
What’s the Formula for the artificial
Algorithm
That tosses you to and fro
From -ism to -ism
Falling prey to the slayers
Of minds beauty
And truth
And dangling your sovereign self
From the tight noose
Of proof
That red fish blue fish
One fish two fish
Keeps the Me
And the 
You
Twisted 
Into dichotomy
Wishing for ancient sanctions
So patiently
Doctoring reality
To give permission
To step out of this glistening
Wet-dream
Steeped
In sterile
Seeds
Injected into bodies
That no longer
Bleed. 
Free. 
The Self.
And
See.
Differently.

CLJ 6-28-22

We Think In Between The Joints

“We think in between the joints”
Entire universes spread out like Time
As Space hides Selves lost in sockets
And held in rhyme, woven…wrenched
From the mind and hidden in pockets
Within the spine, the hips,
The Shouldered relationships
That bear the burden of Other
Ways, to know here, to feel, hear
And peel clear of stagnant flesh…
Just one. More.Deep. Breath.
Laying prone in a sea of flesh
Held together by pure force of Will
In a dance with past Feels and Reels
That loop and tangle and twist
As The feedback strangles the bliss
Of Letting Go into the abyss
Of the Space between
The floor
and Me
As Self is reCentered in between
The open Doors and open Seams
Of I and Thou
And dancing dreams.
I release…. The tight grip
That has ripped me apart
For 41 years
Held together by pure force of Will
In a shifting atmosphere
Of dizzy atoms here
Playing tricks of light
In a mind held so tight
The body rebels…
Swelling with the trapped rage
In masked pages of the Word
That Stages the painful dichotomy…
Seams so loose
It all spills out of me
Chaotically
I seem to lose autonomy
Christened by the insistence
Of my Fascial Lobotomy incised
By internal programs
That overRide
Who I Am
And climb thru the cavernous
Space
Between the Fleshy Creed
That plays at Being Me….
It Dawns so suddenly
The force of Feeling bleeds
As pounding Heart Seeds frequencies
Illuminating
The maze that traps me….
Dramatic release….
A lifetimes unEase freed
As the iron grip can no longer hold
I leak right out of the mould
And gather
In a puddle of matter
And Mater and Mother
And matrix
Of Self & Other
And Open to the Fugue
As the Swoon subsides….
And There
I Am
Peering In
From Outside the Lines
Where Dark matter
Claims the Mind
And Patterns
The Play
Of Somas Shame
As it falls into the rhythm
Of psyches Game.

Charleen Johnston
5-14-22

Inspired by Sophie’s Strands fb post below

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10228554482073707&set=a.1499832382446&type=3

A visceral reflection of how over muscled and controlled my Soma has been
as a lifetime of the threat of puddling right out of my skin
Has overcompensated
To keep the chaos out( or in?)
Hippos are meant to be soft
And buoyant
As they navigate the waters
Of the emotional realm
But mine has crystallized
And been trained
By the Martian masculine
To grip so tight
There is no room
For darkness
In the light
Of Being.
This I Know
And See
As I Do
Now
What is beginning
To come
Naturally.
Let Go
Into the Flow
Of the See of Me
Sew Seamingly slow
And free.

Some Wakings come like Storms

There are some Wakings that come like storms
Electro-swarms in magnetic forms
Dancing
On the tips of Hathor’s Horns
The Temple Priestess 
ReBorn
WideEyed and Me-oh-my
How Time Flies inside the Mind
Wandering Womb 
releasing
Blind sides of Ancient crimes
Buried within these patient Tombs
There are some Wakings that scream like pain
Neurolinguistic nails impaled in veins
Bleeding
And Seeding Stories in silent Shame
The Holy Harlot
Risen
OpenHearted as freedom Parts
The Seas of Self and Dwells in the Art
Of Body’s Bliss 
Burning
The rotting dross from the Fixed Cross
As the Flame is taught to rekindle the Kiss
As Magdalenes  Grail
Returns 
Opens the Urn
Blood flooding in rivers of nerves
As the Impaled Heart
And Mind
Are Healed and Heard….
The Chironic Wound sutured 
With the Salve of Spoken Words
As Pluto and Venus
 Sharing the Shroud
Awake and merge….
Heiros Gamos
Blessed and Bound
In Sacred Sound 
Dance
In Red Velvet
Underground
As 
New Life 
Stirs. 

11-25-21

Loom of Time & Space

I slipped through a crack in the sky
Tripped right over my own silly I
And plummeted
Through the atmosphere
Of dancing atomsHere 
Mapping tears as Phos Fears
Wrath and mirrors
 Refracting Errors
As Eros Arrows begin to fly 
Aimed at Body as Blind Mind tries
To hold on
Hold out
Hold still as Tempest rages about
Weightless Images in cages
Break the lock
And find their way out, in…
Eyes of Mages and Pupils 
And Sages
Wake with the shock 
Of the skin 
As it begins to peel
Away from the clock tocking within
The rhythm of Opening
And closing
Pounding it’s poultice and pouring
Its Salve at ions Dreaming
As men
And women
Dressed as Time
Spiral path in precious Flesh
Dancing thru the Annals of Spine
My oh my
The journey tries my Patience
As I Let Go, satiated by the Doctors
Cosmic Order….the Flow
Aeons of tight fisted History
I now come to Grips With…
I hit the Smooth surface 
Of my Mothers Womb…. 
Taste the salty brine and prepare
To slip through  
SineWave Lips
Soft as sultry hips that shimmy
And shimmer as Soul unfolds in bloom
A Sacred Intention to Serve This
Body of Being 
As I am Birthed from the Dark Deep See
Into the Light of a New Me 
that Bleeds 
Stories and Deeds filled with the Perfume
Of the Divine embrace
Shiva and Shaktis infinite Delight
Making Love from the Loom
Of Time and Space. 

Charleen Johnston 
10-25-21

The Vestement











The Vestement

I make my way inside, the tomb 
and rise 
again 
from feelings that flew too close 
to you, 

torn from the womb, tethered hands 
sworn to illumine weathered lands 

and i crash again 
back into 
seed 

full thrust while blossoms 
bleed 
life into the few 
of the 
new breed 

that makes its way thru density 
seizing sight, thru intensity 
of light 
that makes it all grow 

up and away from the roots that 
know... 

breaking tearing swearing making 
moods that fade too soon 
foods that make new moon 

out of fragments that form too loose 
sometimes 

to hold the rhyme inside, 
tucked beneath the rising tide 
of things we share 
and things we hide 

waiting for the revelation 
to seep up from our pores 
into our mind 
tending the sores that 
stifle the times which await birth 
here 
in the name of earth 
in the name of the mother 
in the name of the bearing 
and the burdens of Other 
ways 

to see here, to know here, to feel 
hear and peel clear 
of stagnant flesh 

saturation 

the sudden dawning 
e v o l u t i o n 
and 
i n v o l u t i o n 

POISED 

between worlds in balance 
minds of latency 
bending and twisting 

and T 
U 
R 
N 
I 
N 
G 
back 
upon 
itself 

remembering the white shroud which once it wore 
swore to remain unstained 
but the blackened charred robe of the stars 
of the wisdom of moments 
tore thru that fantasy 
to create a dream 
so real 
it s e e m s to feel 
its own thrust 
in the darkness 
of the blinding light 
beckoning sight 
into 
existence. 

Resistance repeats 
cyclic defeats 
and victorys 

mysterys mana urging us on 
toward the breathing pull 
of the sun 
as it 
rocks 
a n d 
cradles 
its child 
gently beneath the vestment 
of LIFE.

Charleen Johnston 2004